My Past Experience | Teen Ink

My Past Experience

November 10, 2014
By Anonymous

The story I would like to tell with you is pretty personal to me and I take it to heart. No one really knows about my story of bullying except for maybe little bits and pieces out of it. I would also like to apologize in advance for how long this story may be. For it won’t be a short one as you may expect it to be. Also names of people are things that I won’t expose. Even though I would like to, I won’t because I don’t feel it is right, and I hope that you can respect that. Although these people in my story still happen to go to school with me. I won’t tell you exactly everything that happened as well for some of the things are very personal to me that I don’t like to share with others. This will also be the first time I actually express how I feel about this topic. And this is my story.

3rd grade I attended the school of Trail Elementary. I would say that I had about three friends. We were all pretty close. I didn’t really ever have very many friends growing up. I was just an average 8 year old girl. During my years of attending Trail Elementary, the bullying never really affected me and I guess I was just too young to fully understand it. But throughout my 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade year, I had one main bully. This bully was a boy. He always would shoot me dirty looks and call me ugly. He did it constantly. Practically every day. Even the people who I thought were my friends would sometimes be mean to me. They would let me how annoying I was and they would always single me out. This continued on throughout the rest of my elementary years.

5th grade eventually came. My teacher noticed that I looked a little sad during class and she had scheduled me to meet with the school’s counselor. At the time though, I didn’t know who he was or why I was being sent there. He asked me questions about myself and what goes on while I’m at school and at home. It didn’t take long before I returned back to class. My best friend at the time told me who he was and why he did what he did. Ends up that she was seeing him too.

During my 5th grade year, I can’t quite remember when it started, but soon my best friend and I turned against each other. We were having constant fights and I would sometimes upset her and make her cry. I can’t remember the arguments that we had, but they obviously hurt her.
6th grade year finally rolled around. It was my first year being in middle school. The bully I had throughout my elementary years was no longer a bully anymore. But instead, I had a different bully this time there was two, a boy and a girl. It seemed like things worsened by this time. Not only was I being bullied at school, but I was also being bullied outside of school whenever they would see me. The biggest problem was that one of my bully’s lockers was right next to mine, and that’s where most of the bullying occurred. In between classes when I would go to open my locker and get something out of it, she would slam my locker shut. She would verbally say mean things to me. Still at this time, I didn’t have very many friends except for the three close ones. Through my middle school years, I wasn’t very social. I would where a hoodie all the time. I always listened to music on my mp3 player. I would look down whenever I was walking to avoid people from seeing my face. Also, I always kept my hands in my hoodie pocket. That was just how I was.

At first the bullying started out verbally, but soon they started to get physical. They would throw things at me that had a good impact of hurt. They would trip me as I was walking. They would shove me harshly against the wall or on the ground. They would kick me. They would even pull my hair. This continued on through 7th grade and even through 8th. In 8th grade, another girl had a target drawn on me. She started spreading rumors about me. During class I would always put one or both of my hands up to my face so that people couldn’t look at me. I still do that and I guess that’s just because that’s how insecure I am.

One time during class the teacher saw that I was crying and had sent me to the councilor. At first I didn’t want to go, but then I eventually did. She started asking me a lot of questions, but I didn’t answer any of them. I didn’t speak a word. I don’t believe that people should know about my personal life. Also I feel like I don’t need any help freeing from my bullying experiences.

I still am insecure because of these past experiences and I believe that these are the reasons for my insecurity and for me not being very social. The littlest verbal things can hurt me very much and make me cry.

There are still two big events that I have not mentioned in this story. They are too personal for me to share with others. What bothers me most about people is how they like to joke around with this certain topic. Perhaps if they were bullied they would truly know how it feels like I have felt it. Whenever I see a movie or hear about somebody else’s story that is similar to mine sometimes I cry and people wonder why. And that’s because I know how it feels. I don’t expect for anyone to feel bad for me. I don’t ask for attention now that I have reveled my story. I simply just want to get it out somehow and get some sort of comfort and relief. And this was the opportunity.



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