The Fake Tattoo

October 15, 2009
Do people ever make you so mad that you wonder why God made such naïve, simple minded creatures, then turn on the TV and go, “Oh”? If so, finish reading this. But if you have not ever…
Accidently/Purposfully cursed
Never got sent out in the hall because of your ‘Attitude’
Thought that your ‘attitude’ is actually your humor.
Never made a fashion mistake by trying to fit in
Then I wouldn’t finish this. If you do, I hope it leaves you looking at life in a new way.

Now the world has its charm, I just haven’t found it. Not yet at least. The world has always seemed like an ugly place to me. A place full of only tragedy and sorrow.

The saying “be yourself” has been said a million times before. now I don’t want to sound like your mom pestering you to go clean your room, so here’s my twist on it.

Say life/school is a ‘stage’. Now on stage, people love me. There are haters, and there are fans. that’s a no brainer, but most people think I’m boring off stage. So what I do is, I go on and smile like its okay, laugh like life is great, and pretend its not hurting me, just like I always do.

I was, and still am, beat down, bullied, picked on, and pushed down to the bottom of the food chain time after time after time. That’s me, over here! Hello? It’s me! Hidden in the corner, hiding from the world.
The words that pull me out of my darkest hours when all the world seems to be crashing own right before my eyes. Words that are short, sweet but hit me right on my heart, they stay there like a fake tattoo. Fading away at times, but letting them slip into my mind every once in a while, is like getting it re-colored. “I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone, honey if you stay you’ll be forgiven, nothing you can say can stop me going home.”

I’ve let these words slip out of my mind so many times before. I’ve let them turn into lies, myths, legends, and fairytales. Things you want, but cant have, things that fall just out of your reach.

Just in time, right before the bomb goes off in your head, and you explode, right before you go off the edge, right before you put pressure on that blade, resting on your wrist, or right before you pull that trigger, right before the end. They come back..

So here I am, and here I will stay. Maybe, I haven’t found my fairy tale life, maybe I haven’t found the worlds charm yet, but I will some day.

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