Tall Tales

August 12, 2012
One day many years ago, the father, of the father, of the father, of the father, of my father had come home from a long days work to an empty house. Usually by this time his wife, Bethesda, was starting dinner and his only child, Cornelius, was just finishing his homework. He searched the house in suspicion. He checked every bedroom, every bathroom, and every closet but found no signs of his kin. He searched the entire house for a note or any type of indication of Cornelius and Bethesda’s whereabouts but all he found was a single strand of hair. Worst case scenarios flashed before his eyes and he came to the completely reasonable conclusion that his wife and child had been abducted.
He immediately left his house determined to find the head that this hair originated from. He spent days on end trying to find someone who had the technology to determine the owner of this strand of hair but it seemed as if no one could help him. He eventually began his own research. He spent day after day with his face planted in textbooks. Eventually the days turned into years. By this time he had multiple degrees in genetic engineering and won a Nobel prize. After many more years of development he was finally able to find the identity of the culprit through his extensive genetic research. The name was Bond. Semaj Bond. He came back to his home town with fire in his eyes seeking sweet revenge. He grabbed the nearest phonebook and flipped to the B section. When his fingers graced the name he was looking for a smile crept across his face. He hopped into his car and raced to the address listed in the phone book. He walked slowly up to the house, lit a match, and set it aflame.
As he was driving away he felt a sentimental tug on his heart. He went back to his old residence to reminisce about all the memories he created there. He walked in the door and to his surprise his wife and child were sitting at the dinner table patiently waiting for him so that they could begin. Dumbfounded, he quizzed them about their abduction and told them about his epic journey. His wife calmly told him that he had only been gone for a few hours and reminded him that morning he forgot to take the medication that his doctor prescribed for his schizophrenia.





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