The Killer

October 7, 2011
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I’ve been keeping an eye on him for a few weeks.
He will never know though.
Because every day I’m someone else. New face, new identity.
I’m good at disguising myself.
It didn’t take long to know most of his life.
He’s a business man. No family. No life.
He’s tall, skinny, and awkward looking.
Every morning, he drives a few blocks to Starbucks.
He orders a coffee with two shots of espresso, one squirt of milk and one Sweet-and-Low.
He takes a free newspaper that will sit in his drivers’ seat all day, untouched.
He gets back into the car and drives the rest of the way to work.
He sits at his desk all day, doing work that could put anyone to sleep in a heartbeat.
He takes a lunch break. He eats his turkey salad with light ranch dressing and a Diet Pepsi.
When all his work is done, he leaves to go home, where he watches the news and eats pasta with spaghetti sauce and a Diet Pepsi.
He eventually decides to shower and go to bed.

Tonight. I decided I had to tonight.
I followed him home.
I watched him eat his pasta. For the last time.
I watched him drink his Diet Pepsi. For the last time.
I watched him watch the news. For the last time.
I waited for him to get in the shower.
I crawled into his bedroom window.
I made sure to stay in the shadows.
By the time Stanley Stevens saw me, he was dead.

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

harrypotter143 said...
Nov. 24, 2011 at 3:11 pm

hey naomi! it's me again :)

so, i don't really understand your story.. it was good, but a little too fast paced.

it doesn't say why the killer chose to kill the man, or how he started out stalking him. it would be great if you could explain more, so i could really appreciate this work of art more (:

Naomi518 replied...
Nov. 24, 2011 at 7:51 pm
I sort of wanted to leave a few things blank...but I guess I left out too much.
Emiri said...
Oct. 20, 2011 at 4:44 am
I really like how you descrbed everything in such detail. It really showed that the killer was watching him. But what happens?! I really would like to know that. :) So, it was a pretty good story overall. I give it five stars.
wordjunkie replied...
Oct. 24, 2011 at 5:56 pm
This was good. I like the repeated Diet Pepsi, the little details. I would have liked more of them though. But really good!
Naomi518 replied...
Oct. 24, 2011 at 6:44 pm
thanks! the point of not describing how he killed him was to make the readers think what this killer would do :)
tweetiebruce replied...
Nov. 24, 2011 at 10:38 pm
Sometimes I think it helps to not leave to much out, yes let the reader use their imagination but I think you need more detail in this particular story. Allaborate on the fact that you had to really snoop to find out about this stuff or maybe about his past. 
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