My Disquiet | Teen Ink

My Disquiet

February 27, 2011
By PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."


I felt like I was gasping for air, like I’d been underwater too long. I even felt the dampness all over my body. Something was bothering me, I heard screaming.

It was me.

I opened my eyes.

I found myself in the school hallway, lying on the floor. Nothing seemed out of place at first. The teacher sat in her chair, monitoring the halls. There was cheerful banter that sounded far off. It must have been lunchtime. The most prominent sound though, was the screaming. My screaming. But I was numb.

Numb.

Hovering over me was a hazy view of a familiar face: wavy brown hair, two different colored eyes. I made an effort to smile back at her, but a sharp, sudden pain surged through my entire being, down to my very core, most intense in my heart. The pain, the screaming, the tears, and my own blood that she watched me choke on, all flooded into my brain. Now, her smile disgusted me. Suddenly, two small figures floated up to her, and sat on her shoulders.

Fairies?

Of course not.

They whispered in her ears. They created a humming noise that made my head spin. I think they laughed. They laughed with my friend. Her smile grew to reach both ears, and she began to morph into an ugly, devilish creature that I didn’t dare try to recognize. I lay petrified in a puddle of blood, as they watched me for entertainment.

I looked directly overhead. I saw another familiar face; one that I knew would never abandon me, or leave me to die. He looked down at me lovingly, and I was at peace. Pictures ran through my head of me giving up my body to someone who would always keep me safe; always keep me a part of himself. I smiled back at him, and all the pain, the anarchy, and the screaming,

It all stopped.

Suddenly, he locked eyes with the devil creature. She giggled. Her voice was beautifully horrifying. She floated away with the fairies, taking my peace with them.

“Death is easy. Come to me,” a voice crooned. I felt the warmth of the speaker’s breath as they whispered to me. The voice was soft, smooth and inviting. I wanted it. Why did it stop? A shiver rolled down my spine as the truth of the words sunk in. I felt the truth, and succumbed to the darkness.

My angel faded.

I was alone.


The author's comments:
This is actually based on a dream I had. Loosely based, admittedly, but still. :)

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This article has 24 comments.


on Aug. 21 2011 at 6:04 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

i was sort of hoping that the readers would leave a little bit confused because thats how i felt when i was writing it. it came from a dream so i was trying to get that just-woke-up type of feeling :)

on Aug. 21 2011 at 5:18 pm
wordjunkie BRONZE, Houston, Texas
1 article 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

This made me shiver, it was good, but somehow it lacked something, some clarity- I don't know. Over all it's a beautiful concept, and actuelly I'm begining to think the confusioun might reflect the main characters. Good job.

on Aug. 18 2011 at 11:26 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

thats a good idea. if i expand on the piece ill definitely do that. for now though, the point was to focus on the issue. the physical pain was just a symbol for heartache and i figured i had gotten the point across so i moved on with the plot and stuff. thanks for your input and thank you so much for readingg :)

on Aug. 18 2011 at 7:46 pm
Danealle SILVER, Wheeling, Illinois
7 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
Anything is possible with a smile and goal in mind.

This is great! I wish you would put more detail in describing the pain though. 

on Jul. 31 2011 at 2:26 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

hehe thank youu :)

Saysh PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 31 2011 at 1:21 pm
Saysh PLATINUM, Brentwood, California
31 articles 1 photo 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." ~E.L. Doctorow

wow. that was disturbing and awesome! lol. i loved it! great title too!!

on Jul. 21 2011 at 6:09 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

thank you so muchh! :)

.Izzy. BRONZE said...
on Jul. 21 2011 at 4:32 pm
.Izzy. BRONZE, Broadview Heights, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 388 comments
Very eerie. Loved the words, "beautifully horrifying" If you elaborated on this it would make  a fantastic novel. Keep writing!

on Jul. 13 2011 at 6:55 pm
I know! I love it too!

on Jul. 13 2011 at 6:19 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

ooooh youre rightt! hehe this is why i love teenink<3

on Jul. 12 2011 at 10:17 pm
Ah, so death lulled you into false security and complacency.....this would honestly be an interesting prolouge for a novel. Just saying. 5/5 again!

on Jul. 12 2011 at 4:05 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

i'll see what i can do :) thank youu!

on Jul. 12 2011 at 10:26 am
JustEmily PLATINUM, Cicero, Indiana
22 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
That's HAWT!

Very interesting! I would love to hear you elaborate on this idea.

on Apr. 26 2011 at 6:46 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

I guess its kind of a metaphor. its loosely based on a dream I had

on Apr. 26 2011 at 6:10 pm
AEAluvsanimals SILVER, Yorba Linda, California
6 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All creatures bleed the same blood. He who spills the blood of any of god's creatures, he spills the blood of man." - Private Journals , Landerath
Dragon's Milk.
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."- Dumbledore
Harry Potter 1

It's very good, very eerie. It flows well. I don't really have any complaints, so this is probably a really crappy critique. It sounds like it's a metaphor for something. Is it?

on Apr. 23 2011 at 1:42 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

thanks so muchh!

on Apr. 22 2011 at 10:47 pm
TheGuardian BRONZE, Bath, New York
1 article 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

How original! This is a great story and very suspensful. Keeps us guessing. And it has the perfect balance between keeping us readers connected and keeping that mysteriuos element. Great stuff =)

on Mar. 16 2011 at 7:02 pm
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 487 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm living in a shell with no soul" -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)
"Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned" -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

Haha your welcome!!!  I absolutely love this!!!!!!

on Mar. 16 2011 at 6:16 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

:D :D thank youu!

on Mar. 16 2011 at 3:30 pm
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 487 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm living in a shell with no soul" -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)
"Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned" -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

Oooooh.....chills!!!  This is so chilling and mysterious!