August 21, 2010
By SaraLynn GOLD, Peoria, Arizona
SaraLynn GOLD, Peoria, Arizona
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

“Benny, it’s time to go. I haven’t seen anyone in almost an hour.”

“Patience, Jacob, she will come. Now shut up or you will give us away.” Benny crouched closer to whisper in my ear, “You don’t want to ruin the game before it gets exciting.”

I sat on the ground, carefully watching Benny. He was calm, almost to the point of insanity. “She’s almost here,” Benny mouthed to me.

Sure enough, not even two minutes later, a beautiful young woman with a cascade of dark hair flowing across her back appeared in the clearing.

“Now the fun begins,” Benny flew from his hiding spot, I followed closely behind. Carefully, I took the plastic bag with the already prepared cloth out of my pocket. The temptation of the beautiful brunet was proving to be too much for me. After I held the cloth to her face, I couldn’t stop myself from pressing my lips to her pale forehead.

“Great job, Jacob! Ready for the grand finale?” Benny watched as I pulled the unconscious woman into the cover of the trees where I could tie her up without ever being noticed. When I looked up, Benny was nowhere to be found.

“Benny! Hey Benny, get your lazy ass over here and make yourself useful,” Five minutes later, Benny still hadn’t shown up, I decided to let him fend for himself. The girl wasn’t gonna be out much longer.

She was heavier than I anticipated, she looked so small. I placed her in the passenger seat and buckled her seatbelt. At least if I get pulled over I can tell them she’s sleeping.


Pulling into my driveway, I was surprised to find Benny already sitting on the cabin’s front steps.

“What the hell Benny? How did you get here?”

“That’s for me to know. Bring the girl inside. We still have to get everything ready, and we don’t have much time.”

I carried her like a sack of potatoes over my shoulder, it was easier that way. Then I found Benny out by the shed staring at a long rectangular box.

“This should be big enough for her. Now go dig the hole.”

Just as Benny suggested, I grabbed my shovel and headed over to a smallish clearing. I began to dig beside an already filled hole. The air here didn’t smell quite right. The earthy, dirt mixed with grass, smell was prominent of course, but underneath there was just a hint of something sinister. Maybe it was just me, Benny never seemed to notice.


I carried the makeshift coffin to the freshly dug grave, and had to go all the way back to the house to get the girl. Benny never helped. He planned and told me what to do, but never helped. I gently placed the beautiful young woman into the box, and closed the top. One good push and the box landed at the bottom of the hole. Thirty-two shovel fulls of dirt, and the hole was covered.

“Now we wait,” Benny sat on a rock. I followed suit.

The anticipation was killing me, it always did. Imagine the second before you drop over that first hill on a roller coaster, that’s how waiting for the best part of our game felt.

“Jacob, you’ve done well. We will play again in a few days.”

“Just tell me when and where.” We sat in silence for about an hour. Then finally it happened.

She screamed.

The author's comments:
In my creative writing class, we were given an assignment to write from a perspective other than our own. This is what i came up with.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Aug. 25 2010 at 9:18 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

Um, can you say 'CREEPY!!!'  I liked the story very much, even though it was a little out there for my tastes.  At first when I started reading this, I thought that Benny and Jacob were birds, because you said benny 'flew'- I know, my gulibility levels are kind of high.  Anyway, I didn't see any grammar and or spelling mistakes, so good job!  Your characters were very well established.

The one thing I didn't get was that you said that 'the girl wasn't going to be out much longer' when Benny dissapeared, but Jacob was able to get her into the car, to the destination, dig her a hole, bury her, cover her up again and wait an hour before she finally woke up?  Anyway, that was a small timing issue but other than that good job!


Can you check out my story, "Encounter"?


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