Guilty Stains | Teen Ink

Guilty Stains

July 15, 2010
By MakenaB_mjbc99 BRONZE, Brookline, Massachusetts
MakenaB_mjbc99 BRONZE, Brookline, Massachusetts
4 articles 1 photo 31 comments

Young Brown dashed to the crime scene as soon as he was called. He got to Café 5, the crime scene, and found the police gathered around the victim. Together with them was the famous Vancouver detective, Walter M. Morris, renowned not only for his crime solving capability but also for his great skill at investigating the private life of specific people. Morris was never found without his old, wooden smoking pipe.
Detective Anthony Brown found that the cold pale body on the floor was property of Thomas Raw, Café 5’s owner. Anthony crouched down to take a closer look at the body. All of a sudden, an ox strong grip took hold of Brown’s shoulder. The young man jumped up and found Morris an inch away of his eyes. He shook off a deep shiver rising up his spine. They greeted each other and went over to a corner to discuss the case.
The theory was as followed: one Tuesday night, Mr. Raw stayed up late working at his shop, cleaning the floor. Someone had surprised him from behind with the gift of a broken neck. His wife got worried and headed off to her love’s store where she found him sleeping on the ground, never to get up again.
Brown decided to go step by step. First, he would inspect the shop and interrogate his main suspect, Mrs. Raw. He got a sizzled cup of coffee and begun his tasks. He examined his crime scene, and was left open mouthed. Not even a clue of the murderer’s entrance. Perhaps, he would have more luck with Mrs. Raw.

As the detective got to the house he noticed a blood stain on the door handle. He got out a slick and shinny gun and hid it close, just in case. He rang the bell a few seconds. After a moment, a lady came out.
Her hair was short and made her look like a cherry with emerald eyes and ruby threads. She was dressed up like if she was going somewhere. The questions had begun as soon as possible.
Q: Did you love your husband?
A: Yes. The true question is … did he love me?
Q: What does that mean?
A: We had a small quarrel a few days ago at dinner, around two I think. He cut my hand with a sharp knife. Its blade did not cut deep into me. Then, I ran out to a hotel. I think he sent to look for me. A man started out for me. There, I lost a copy of Café 5 keys. Luckily, I have another.
Brown realized she was not the one. Mrs. Raw gave him a bill she had found. It was dirty. A dusty black smudge crawled over it. Brown put it safely into an evidence bag.

Brown’s eyes were back on the body. He looked at the injury and found the same black dusty smudge. Now, a smile was on every corner of his mouth. You could see his teeth plucked out. His eyes lit up like a match. He was then invited by Walter to a drink at a bar.
After some drinks, Walter headed off to the men’s toilet and left Anthony his crooked pipe. Anthony held it for him with pleasure. When Morris was back, Brown handed him his pipe. As he took his hand away he noticed a black dusty stain. Anthony’s eyes glowed. Morris made a frown when he understood what happened. Brown rushed out the bar and dashed into Café 5.
Anthony slightly opened the shop door and got near the body. He glared at the black dust on the neck of Mr. Raw. “Morris,” Brown whispered. He had been with the murderer all along! His new theory was that Raw had hired Morris to spy on his wife. He looked for her and got a copy of the shop keys. When the detective was not paid, he got into the shop and killed Raw!
All of the sudden a black shape came out of the dark with thunderous footsteps.
“You were looking for me?”

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This article has 494 comments.

on Oct. 28 2010 at 8:00 am
MakenaB_mjbc99 BRONZE, Brookline, Massachusetts
4 articles 1 photo 31 comments
Thank you!

Kloe Zuyi said...
on Oct. 28 2010 at 7:24 am
Excellent !!!

on Oct. 6 2010 at 7:12 am
Jsullivan BRONZE, Huckleberryfinlane, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Cancer...Cancer is in everything, the food, the water even the household items." (By: My grandfather)

I got a bit confuse, but I don't think i was completley focused either. Its great.

KellyR GOLD said...
on Oct. 1 2010 at 12:03 pm
KellyR GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

Nice Story, I really like the plot but I think it is a little choppy and needs some more narrative.

july g said...
on Sep. 30 2010 at 7:56 am
Very nice!

on Sep. 9 2010 at 7:06 pm
Sorprenden T

pet sam said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 7:05 pm

jenny said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 7:03 pm
very very goooood

tt jones said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 7:02 pm
Well done !

Kasrain SILVER said...
on Sep. 1 2010 at 11:18 am
Kasrain SILVER, Woodbridge, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
''It's not how hard you fall that determines how strong you are, it's how fast you get up.''

That was an excellent story. Very nice job.

on Aug. 31 2010 at 3:38 pm
MaliyahP. SILVER, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
9 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are pirate ships and steam ships but the best ship of all is friendship.

O my gosh that was an awesome story? Are there any more? I want to know what happens next!!!

on Aug. 27 2010 at 7:46 am
Very good story.

on Aug. 17 2010 at 7:58 pm
TheMalfunctioningWallflower BRONZE, Houston, Texas
1 article 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:

"I did wood paneling."

"Do not FEAR the Crooked Zipper!! EMBRACE the Crooked Zipper!!!"

"What's better than infinity?"

"Wear your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of three!"

"You could walk on your hands and catch up to him!"

Good mystery

on Aug. 17 2010 at 7:39 pm

Maia Z said...
on Aug. 16 2010 at 9:41 am
Well done. Loved your story and your videos.

Jon P said...
on Aug. 16 2010 at 9:35 am
Dear mjbc99, very entertaining thriller. I also enjoyed your videos very much "Thanks to Science", "Science is the answer" & "Science is the Key to the Answer" defiently show in 90 seconds the different angles of SCIENCE, "Bricks of Knowledge" absolutely conveys the message, "Greek Legacy" is fun and educational and "Play Back" has an elegant, clean and fresh sense of humor.

peter capo said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 5:49 pm
Excellent !!!

aya tu said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 5:48 pm
Very nice story.

tienne rien said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 5:47 pm

sabi hobi said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 5:47 pm
Very good.

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