A sinful lover

May 27, 2010
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The The rain cleansed her. It washed away all of the horrid memories that laid around in her thoughts. She wanted to forever forget but it didn’t seem possible; not without him; not with her just losing him. “Tristan,” She whispered out loud. “I wish you were here with me.” Her brown hair fell over her face sticking to it. “I wish we could be together again.” Her words turned into sadden whimpers. Jasmine’s tears mingled with the down pouring rain. “Why? Why did you leave me? I thought you loved me?” she fumbled about the small Forrest near the road. An outstretched branch stabbed her arm cause a thin scarlet thin to from there. Jasmine smeared the red off suddenly understanding what she had done. Her hands started shaking. Yes Tristan was gone; but how? “I killed him.” They realization flood her. “I let my jealous overrun me.” Her hands were trembling while feeling the path ahead of her. She didn’t truly see any of it. Her eyes were glazed over and her mind was blank. “I am going crazy.” Rang deep in her soul. She pushed her weight throwing herself into the tree closest to her. The pain stung a moment and then lessened. So she hit again and again. She liked this feeling; this control over something. She could stop him from leaving her or not dumping her; she couldn’t control her immense emotion towards him but she could control this. Jasmine knotted her bloody hands into her hair and yanked. Large clumps fell out. She kneeled on the ground. She didn’t deserve to live. Not know or ever. She just couldn’t face what she had just done. Jasmine heard a rushing sound from under her. She saw a massive river gushing by moving rocks along with its muddy water. She begged for the rain to wash all of her sinful motives and work with it. To thrash them and carry them like the river did. “It wasn’t like me.” She thought. “I’m not the type of person t-to murder someone.” But Jasmine knew the truth; the bone deep truth. “I don’t know what to do.” She repeated to herself. She just killed what mattered most to her. “There’s not a reason for life because I killed it.” The inside of her chest was missing. Jasmine gazed at the river below her, considering. If she lived she would be face with a life in jail but she didn’t want to; in fact she couldn’t imagine it. Imagine have that dreadful guilt eating up her body because her mind was already gone. Nothing mattered. Not school, not the future, not her lover or passed lover, not herself. Mostly not herself. Jasmine stood her toes over the edge of the cliff leading to the grim river. It seemed like it was waiting for her; beckoning her. Jasmine calmed her breathing letting her fake heart coarse through her. Her heart was dead and she already knew that. Nothing was left in her. She anticipated it and jumped. It was slow motion until she hit the water having it come up to meet her. The water gagged her with silent screams. She fought it; she was still human after all. Still it won. Jasmine went under not being able to see. Rocks scrapping her opened eyes and getting lodged down her throat. She knew no one could hear her. She knew what was going to happen next in her story. The end was approaching fast mounting up wasted time. Like a train coming in the distance; you couldn’t see it but hear the whistle blow its evil call. Then she could no long scream. It was deadly quite.
The police found her body next spring.

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