Opulence: Another Peek

November 4, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.


I drive up to the gate, leading to the huge group home. It’s brick, old, and three stories. This is the local area for trainers and apprentices to stay. I moved out a while ago, when my basic training officially ended and I turned eighteen. Since then my office, at the nearest O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. building, has been more than enough. I travel a lot.

“This place is huge. Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?” Evan asks, gaping at the fortress from the window of the car after I turn down the music.

“I have the code and they’re expecting us. Rooms have already been prepared, along with a work space. Walter’s even here. He was my trainer, and now will over see my work with you,” I say, not mentioning how upset he’d been with me when I took the time to tell him what happened, during a bathroom break.

“So he’s your boss?” Evan asks as I put in the code and pull up to the residents’ driveway.

“No more than I’m yours. He’s simply my teacher and superior in the organization. I have plenty of respect for him, but I report to others, not him,” I say with an eye roll at the very idea.

Evan says as I pull into a parking spot, “You realize I don’t know any magic. I don’t even have any stuff, like clothes. This is all a bit sudden.”

“Best to keep a brisk pace or you’ll have time to think of how odd this all really is. You don’t need to worry about any belongings. Your room is furnished and we’ll provide everything you need for magic training. Besides that, all apprentices have a cafeteria to eat at, that costs you nothing. You also have an apprentice uniform, which you’ll be fitted for first thing,” I say as I leave the car.

“Great, this is sounding almost as bad as school,” Evan sighs.

I grumble as I lead him to the main entrance of the estate, “You were never this chatty back at school. I wish I’d known about your complaining before I signed on to be your trainer.”

I don’t mention that he’s my first apprentice, and I would have taken anyone.

“I’ll take you to Walter first. Then I’ll show you your room, our work space, and where you will be able to find me. I don’t normally stay here, but as your trainer, I have to be readily available. After all that, you’ll be fitted for your uniform and I’ll give you a tour of the place. I’m sure you’ll find it to your standards,” I say confidently.

“Wait,” Evan says, grabbing my hand to stop me.

I act on reflex, everything happening before I have the chance to realize I have him turned around, pressing the pressure point on the back of his neck as I hold his arms behind his back. He gasps in shock and pain. Then I realize what I’ve done and release him sheepishly. One such as myself, small and cute, I need to have fast reflexes. The places I go aren’t always the most civilized, and I look like I could easily be taken advantage of.

“What was that for? It really hurt!” Evan exclaims, rubbing his arms.

“Sorry,” I say, slightly embarrassed. “What were you saying?”

“Sure, just go on like nothing happened. I was going to say that you’re rushing things a bit. I don’t even want to be here, not that you bothered to ask,” Evan says, dryly.

I shrug and continue moving toward the building, saying over my shoulder, “That doesn’t really matter, Evan. Every person with the power must be trained, under law. It will be easier if you see this as helpful, instead of mandatory. You could really hurt someone, without proper control of your abilities. Besides, you should be very comfortable here. It won’t be forever.”

“How long will I be forced to live here?” He asks.

I ignore his negativity and say, “It depends on how well you commit yourself to your studies. If you don’t accomplish the basic training then you have to stay. Once you have you can request to be moved back home, where you’ll be put into contact with a tutor in your area.”

“You’ve been here for over a decade. Is that how long it takes for ‘basic training’?” He asks as I open the front door and usher him inside.

I laugh lightly and say, “Of course not. I completed that years ago. I’m well within the realm of mastery. It just happens that I have no where else to go, and trust me, I don’t mind. I would much rather devote myself to the power. I don’t see it as a punishment, but more of a privilege.”

“You mean, I don’t have to go back home?” Evan asks.

I raise an eyebrow and say, “I thought you were eager to go home and be back with your parents?”

He laughs, a harsh noise and says, “If what you’re saying is true, that everything here isn’t that bad, then I’m fine with staying here until I’m eighteen. My parents never wanted a child, and even less so after they had me. I doubt I‘ll be missed.”

Evan finally comes into the house and I close the door behind me. In the foyer there are smooth, hard wood floors, with large closets along the walls. The room leads out in three ways, forward and to the left and right. There are lights set dimly with no windows besides the one above the front doors.

“I’ll take that for you Miss Wordsworth. I hope you had a most pleasant trip,” A middle aged woman says as she rushes in, face flushed, dressed in a staff uniform.

“Thank you, Kate,” I say as I hand her my light-weight, green trench coat.

“No problem Miss. I’ll take your’s as well young man,” Kate says happily, reaching for Evan’s coat.

He hands it to her awkwardly and she quickly hangs them up and puts them in the residents closet. The clothing is neatly labeled in sections for apprentices, trainers, and such. Evan watches her perform this task uncomfortably. He will soon have to get used to it, seeing as staff and such will be around him often now. I don’t see why people are distressed by servants, since it’s their job.

“Evan, this is our housekeeper, Kate. Usually the butler comes to the door. Kate, this is the newest addition to apprentices, Evan Grant,” I say to them both.

“So nice to meet you, Mr. Grant,” Kate says with a smile and a slight nod of her head.

“You can call me Evan,” He mumbles back.

“Mr. Grant, there is protocol here. I don’t mean any disrespect, but this is a formal relationship. Now, would you like me to show you two to your new accommodations?” Kate asks expectantly.

“Actually we’ll need to be shown straight to Walter,” I redirect her.

“Of course. I’ll show you myself this time, Mr. Grant, and don’t hesitate to come to me if you need help. Other than that, I run this estate. I do not play tour guide or bell hop. I am very busy and while I’m here to serve, serving you is not necessarily my main task. I organize everything, so one of the other staff will usually perform these tasks. I shouldn’t want you to be confused by it,” Kate tells Evan politely, while telling him firmly where she draws the line in the sand.

“No problem,” Evan nods, a little confusion showing on his face.

Kate wisely ignores it, trusting me to clear things up later on estate etiquette, and says, “Very well, this way then. He’s on this level, in his office.”

Kate leads us out of the foyer, to the left. It’s basically one main hallway, decorated with ornate light fixtures, intricate paintings of important organization members, burgundy rugs with gold details above the hard wood floors, cream walls, and gold trim. Overall the appearance is grand and sophisticated. It seems warm even though it isn’t necessarily.


As the three of us continue we pass countless doors, large, dark wood ones. Behind them are offices for the employees here, trackers and trainers that are currently here doing desk work. This is mainly the newest and oldest members. They are not doing field duty at the moment, but are still involved. The first offices are secretaries and other low ranking members. Since I’ll be actively training, my office will not be among these.

Kate takes us a little further before stopping and announcing, “Here we are. I assume he is expecting you. Should I send for any refreshments?”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” I say distractedly, ignoring Evans eager expression.

“Very well Ms. Wordsworth. It’s very nice to have you back here, and it’s very nice to meet you Mr. Grant,” Kate says courteously before moving back the way we came.

“Who is Walter again?” Evan asks as I’m reaching for the door.

“Hush! Would you like him to hear you say that?” I ask, removing my hand with a jerk. “Walter is my trainer and who we will be reporting to. You had best remember that. If you excel, or fall behind, he is who you’ll be dealing with.”

“So he’s your boss,” Evan smirks.

“Just try not to say anything stupid,” I sigh before throwing the door open and entering, Evan following behind.

The author's comments:
Thank you very much for all your feedback on Opulence. I was very surprised. I'm writing it as a full length novel, and as many of you have guessed, these are just short scenes. Only a bit of time has passed from the first segment to this one. I hope you enjoy.

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This article has 182 comments.


on Dec. 9 2009 at 8:18 pm
xenon333 PLATINUM, Billerica, Massachusetts
42 articles 0 photos 150 comments
INSANELY AWESOME

on Dec. 5 2009 at 12:24 pm
WriterA.M. PLATINUM, Denver, Colorado
40 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Ignore corruption and achieve perfection"- me

Great, I'm working on a novel myself. Though my vocabulary isn't as broad.

on Dec. 3 2009 at 5:09 pm
phoenixqueen GOLD, Idaho Falls, Idaho
10 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I cannot live without books."

thanks a lot!

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Dec. 3 2009 at 2:54 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.

It sure does! Thank you so much, it's great to know that people like my writing. I'll be sure to look at your writing and leave feedback.

on Dec. 3 2009 at 2:11 pm
phoenixqueen GOLD, Idaho Falls, Idaho
10 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I cannot live without books."

Does this invitation apply to anyone? You are an amazing writer and I would really appreciate it if you would read one of the stories I have posted and tell me what you think. I really value any and all feedback I get.

on Nov. 17 2009 at 5:15 pm
CoOcOoCaM BRONZE, Park City, Utah
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
OMG!!! SO GOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It makes me so angry though cause I just finished reading my story that I posted a while back and right after I read yours and let me tell you.... Huge difference. I thought mine was epic, but guess what.... compared to yours... its like reading my 7 year old sisters story about what she like to do on the playground. You are sooooo amazing!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even describe it. BTW: This story is so addicting! Its the kind of thing where I would run home from school and read it and cry if I didn't have it on the bus.

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Nov. 17 2009 at 12:22 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.

Thanks so much! You can e-mail me at tatatatorrence@yahoo .com. I'll be sure to go read your writing and give feedback.

on Nov. 17 2009 at 12:13 pm
lightbearer GOLD, North Bloomfield, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 19 comments
i have printed out Opulence and Opulence another peek. i read the first and skimmed the second. your incredible. let me know when your novel gets published. your absolutely amazing. i'm writing my own novel, maybe you could give some feedback...

on Nov. 11 2009 at 8:39 pm
ShrimpyBB SILVER, Gresham, Oregon
6 articles 5 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I was being fasitious!"

This is a great story. I love the characters, especially Kate. The way she directs people is very suttle. Great job!

kittylover said...
on Nov. 10 2009 at 7:30 pm
are you that girl on your pic?please write back i love your writing!

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Nov. 9 2009 at 6:05 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.

Thank you so much! I'm honestly not sure what made me write it. I was thinking about if there was an entirely different population right along with ours and they were organized too. I come up with a lot of ideas and quickly write them, then look back and write them after I've thought about it some.

kittylover said...
on Nov. 9 2009 at 5:06 pm
hello i am kittylover i love the way you wrote it,it was beautiful.what made you write it?your notion. please write back. incredible job

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Nov. 8 2009 at 5:29 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.

No problem. Yeah, if I don’t feel like I can write it then I just tell myself I need to think about it more. I like to think that my dialogue is the best part of my writing because I it tends to flow and seem like real speaking. Yeah, sometimes I get a dark mood to my writing. I try to add jokes to it but since my jokes tend to be sarcastic, it doesn’t help much! I have to keep myself from rambling on and on too lol. Not all of my novels are YA. In most of my books there’s some romance but only because that’s how real life is hahaha. I’m liberal too so it really depends on the audience. A novel of mine is mainly about the differences between men and women and how we get along. It’s set not really in this world, but a forest where the sexes live apart from one another. I guess I could see Opulence as a movie, that would be amazing, but I try not to rush ahead of myself. I’m not picky on who publishes it as long as it gets published lol. The first step for me is getting a literary agent. I think that’s the better option for me. Hahaha my mom will go “Tori, that better be book research”. The first set of books that I read and really got into were by Tamora Pierce. I read a lot so there’s a lot of authors that inspire me. I have no idea where I get my ideas. I’ve always been creative. I just think of things that are neat and decide to write about them. I’ll think of a mood that I want capture and think of ideas based on that. Also songs give me lots of ideas. I almost always listen to music when I write. I really rarely get writers block though. If I can’t work on a story, I’ll move on to another one or write some poetry. I pretty much have no writer friends and I don’t like blathering on about my writing to them because they don’t understand what I mean that well. Such as how hard it is and how once you finish a book, it doesn’t just end up in a store. I like writing but I do a lot of other things too. I helps me with let out my emotions since I don’t do that a lot even though I’m not a shy person. I am into aquariums, geology, volunteering, art, the environment, and women’s rights. I finally gave in a started a facebook a few days ago. You can e-mail me at tatatatorrence@yahoo .com. Hahaha oh you gotta love the censoring (sarcasm). Um, we can talk about Mrs. Meyer in email. Once again, no problem!

Young Writer said...
on Nov. 8 2009 at 4:09 pm
Thank you for your response; that was unexpected. I attempt to write my novels with the same patience as you; I feel like my writing needs space to breathe and flourish. My writing style leans heavily on description. I find that dialogue and character building is simple to incorporate, but I have trouble keeping it light, smooth, and exciting. I like details. My novel, “Dreamer” is quite different, and I want it directed to a young adult audience. It’s a combination of adventure, fantasy, romance, realistic fiction, inspiration, and danger. My novel, “Forbidden” is a classic, as in common, tale about vampires. It has the elements you would expect. My writing is rather liberal, and open-minded. I write like I’m watching a film. Do you see “Opulence” becoming a film? Who do you want to publish your work? I like to think I am the “Tim Burton” of books, but I am not that creative yet. I look up my names in baby books, too. You should have seen the look that the Barnes and Noble employee gave me. ;) What authors inspire you? Where did you get your ideas, or how? (Sigh) I wish I had a laptop; that would allow me more time to work on my books. I do have a wonderful imagination, and I never run out of ideas. Do you ever listen to music to inspire and break through your writing blocks? Do you have friends that are writers that you can talk to? (I understand this is vague, but I am in a bit of a nonsensical hurry.) I do write poetry, but writing isn’t my reason for existence. I love art and drawing, traveling and exploring, nature, film and volunteering in theatres, motorcycles, daydreaming, civil rights’ movements, music, and more. I wrote a short story, called “The Sun Died” or some other title, and I’d like you to look at it. However, I don’t have an account, and I abhor Myspace and Facebook, and such. I do have an E-mail, but I don’t like the idea of giving it out publicly. "The Sun Died" does have a bad ending, but it is dark. I posted a comment prior to this one, but apparently, the editor finds fault with my opinions on society. What do you think about Stephenie Meyer's work? The movies? Thank you for answering my questions!

Young Writer said...
on Nov. 8 2009 at 3:59 pm
Thank you for your response; that was unexpected. I attempt to write my novels with the same patience as you; I feel like my writing needs space to breathe and flourish. My writing style leans heavily on description. I find that dialogue and character building is simple to incorporate, but I have trouble keeping it light, smooth, and exciting. I like details. My novel, “Dreamer” is quite different, and I want it directed to a young adult audience. It’s a combination of adventure, fantasy, romance, realistic fiction, inspiration, and danger. My novel, “Forbidden” is a classic, as in common, tale about vampires. It has the elements you would expect. My writing is rather liberal, and open-minded. I write like I’m watching a film. Do you see “Opulence” becoming a film? Who do you want to publish your work? I like to think I am the “Tim Burton” of books, but I am not that creative yet. I look up my names in baby books, too. You should have seen the look that the Barnes and Noble employee gave me. ;) What authors inspire you? Where did you get your ideas, or how? (Sigh) I wish I had a laptop; that would allow me more time to work on my books. I do have a wonderful imagination, and I never run out of ideas. Do you ever listen to music to inspire and break through your writing blocks? Do you have friends that are writers that you can talk to? (I understand this is vague, but I am in a bit of a nonsensical hurry.) I do write poetry, but writing isn’t my reason for existence. I love art and drawing, traveling and exploring, nature, film and volunteering in theatres, motorcycles, daydreaming, civil rights’ movements, music, and more. I wrote a short story, called “The Sun Died” or some other title, and I’d like you to look at it. However, I don’t have an account, and I abhor Myspace and Facebook, and such. I do have an E-mail, but I don’t like the idea of giving it out publicly. Thank you for answering my questions,and it did provide insight. "The Sun Died" is realistic fiction/romance, and sadly, it has a bad ending. It is dark, though. I have one grudge towards writing fantasy, though I love writing it. People rely heavily on fantasy to blind themselves against reality. And reality? It looks bad. Politics. Disease. Divorces. Racists against everything-color, religion, beliefs. Global warmng and cutting down the forests. Should we continue to help delude our overweight generation? Should we contribute a false world where people lose sight of themselves, of their character? As writers, are we making the right decesion in fooling the real world with tales of witches, fairies, werewolves, and such? That reminds me; what do you think of Stephenie Meyer's work? What about the movies? Again, thank you, and keep up the incredible writing. ;) ASAP ;)

on Nov. 7 2009 at 6:02 pm
teddychanfanatic, Montgomery, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
wow! your on the roll huh??

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Nov. 3 2009 at 6:06 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.

Thank you very much for the support. My family always says that I write how I speak :) For all of the books that I write (actively working on 3 but have research done for more) I create two word documents. In one of them I list names that I like then fill in details for them as they become characters. I give them an age, personality, what they look like. Yes, yes, I look up names in baby books. Had to do some explaining to my mom for that, hahaha. I then write plot ideas in that same document. If I'm doing research on other cultures I put my research in the document. In the other document I write the actual story. It helps me keep track of characters and organization. Often times I'll get twenty pages into the novel and decide to rework it, starting over and using parts that I'd written before or similar concepts. Don't be afraid to to everything around! I also have many notebooks if I don't feel like working on my laptop. I like to write poetry by hand most of the time. I dedicate as much time as I can to writing. If I'm not in the mood for Opulence, I work on one of my other books. That being said, I could work all day and maybe write 15 pages (not double spaced, I do that at the end when I add chapters). Another time I might not work for a week on it. I try not to force myself to write because if I do, then I usually don't like what I've written. I do get writers block sometimes but I don't really think of it like that. I just think that I need to stew about the novel more, think of the plot, then it usually comes pouring out. In the mean time if I feel like still being productive, I will edit what I've written. Reading everyones comments also helps. It makes me really want to write so I can tell you all about it. I make really crazy goals for myself when it comes to my writing. As for what the readers want to hear, I can't speak for everyone, but I can tell you what I like to read. I like reading things that seem natural no matter how crazy the concept is. I like humor, and not knock knock silly kind, but the dark, sarcastic, and witty. I like a little danger. I like strong, tough characters that let the reader see their vulnerability like they're sharing a secret with you. I also really, really like happy endings. Not sickly sweet ones, but at least the promise of happieness. I figure we don't always get a happy ending so I like reading books where at least the characters do. I finished a book a bit ago that I really like. Maybe I'll post a bit on here and see how you guys like it. I hope I helped with your questions and I'd like to hear more about your writing. Good luck to you too, and I'm 17 too lol

Young Writer said...
on Nov. 2 2009 at 6:06 pm
I'd like to pronounce, wholeheartedly, that I believe you have potential as a futuristic author. I was captured when I began reading "Opulence" and I like your style of writing. The dialogue reads smoothly, and sounds natural. I also admire the way the characters were created so easily. I am curious about the novel; how much time and dedication do you give "Opulence"? Do you ever encounter writer's block? What do you recommend, as a young writer, how a writer ought to begin their book: outlines, character sketches, etc. Obviously, you have the fans' approval, and I am interested to hear your response. I am writing 2 different novels that will evolve into trilogies or sagas. What do you believe the fans' want to hear? Get back to me as ASAP. Good Luck! (Age: 17)

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Oct. 30 2009 at 6:53 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.

LOL yes I have more, I'm about halfway through with the novel! (ugh, then have to edit!) I've changed the story slightly for the book (just details), but I'll try to find a part that I can rework and post on here. Thanks so much for your comment :)

on Oct. 30 2009 at 6:05 am
HIIIII!!! PLZ RESPOND TO THIS COMMENT!!!! U AID U WERE WRITING THIS AS A FULL LENGTH STOREEE!!! :)

so do u know when you'll have the next bit by? i know u need time but i'mm anxious!!!


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