Destruction

May 15, 2012
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Calum stopped, looking at the rubble of the cabin. Everything was gone...it had been four years since he'd been there. Rebuilding his world and assisting in the transfer of supplies to Zantelga. Slowly he fell to a knee, pressing a hand to the the ground, and shutting his eyes. The understanding of nature that had come to him, as he slowly opened his eyes and felt the memories flood back to him. It had been so long since he'd thought of his past- since Rydia left, actually. Things had been so hectic, and he had distanced himself from a lot of people. The stress of this world was getting to him. His brown hair had dulled, fading into grey.

Age...he knew of it more than most, now. Not that it mattered- age was irrelevant to him, when he could become ageless fairly easily. A sad smile came to his face, as he stood up. Ageless. It wasn't something he accepted fairly easily, anymore. Humanity was...preferable, after all of the things he had seen, all of the experiences he still could remember. All the things he had done. Slowly, Calum sat in the grass and stared up at the sky, observing the clouds as they passed by. It felt like an eternity ago, even though it had only been five years since he had become human, since he had left Terabyte behind and became Calum.

The thought of death, of dying...it was comforting, almost. Knowing that after everything that he'd seen and done, he could die, eventually. Being immortal was...frightening. Knowing that all things that are and will be will one day pass, because nothing is forever. Knowing all the possibilities, all the ways to cheat an end of your existance...for even the briefest moments, he wanted to stop fighting and just let the eternal silence over take him. Things had finally quieted down. Zantelga was back in control of itself. Calum had stopped talking to Cale, and had parted on good terms, unlike their first encounter. Rydia had come and assisted as she could, and returned home long ago. Many friends had helped him, forgiven him for his past. They had all come and gone, and now Calum sat at the edge of a proverbial mountain- the jumping point. Everything had been done, and now it was his chance to finally have a normal life.

Normality wasn't something he had ever felt the warm embrace of. All of his existence had been chaos. The threat of fighting. The need to eliminate. The wars on the horizon, and the constant fighting in his heart. The turmoil of his mind tearing itself into pieces. The regret and sadness that came with not truly having a heart, and when he finally did, finally understanding why it wasn't necessary for him to have.

Slowly, Calum set a hand to his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart in his chest, sad expression overtaking his face, as he could only wage an inner war with himself. Slowly, he fell back into the grass, letting the tall grass engulf him as his eyes watched the sky. Did he want to be normal? There was some allure to the extraordinary. Could he return to this dull and nothing life? Was it what he wanted?

Tears welled at the edge of his vision as he set his arm over his eyes, seething in emotions he rarely thought of. At this juncture, he couldn't tell if it was happiness or loneliness. He hadn't spoken to them in so long. Those from Zantelga, Rydia, Sky, Reizu...he'd broken contact when everything was said and done. Bell, Takumi and the others were still around...but he was so busy he rarely got to just take a break. Supplies being transferred to help the rebuilding process for Zantelga weren't a necessity in having him there, and could be automated...so now he could only just...think.





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