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Do These Genes Make Me Look Fat
As we're sitting at a table in the Arena (an underground fight club). We were reminiscing about the good old days of 2020, when life was simpler. Back then cars still had wheels, and you only had to watch for traffic in two directions. All the teenagers had things like tattoo's, vampire teeth, and werewolf eyes that showed up at twilight. Those days were long gone. Genetic splicing, brought in things like: cheetah’s spots and speed, gorilla strength, lion's roar. and sometimes you would even see some that were considered "rare" rabbit, koala, wombat, and Tasmanian devil splicing. The one thing that you never wanted to see was, when they went wrong, we all agreed on that.
We all shuddered, thinking about Justin, the poor schmuck that got drunk, got a whole bucket full of stupid, and got spliced in a back alley, unregistered genetic clinic, by a doctor that had gone on a few, too many bad acid trips over the years. Needless to say it had not turned out very well for either of them. Last that we knew, Justin was locked up on Devils Island in the middle of the ocean for what he had done.
My annoying younger brother, Dragon looks questioningly at the not that Suds slipped him with his new drink.
I look at him "What's up? Can't read it?"
"Suds wants to see me he has a question. I’m not going to go up there and see what he wants though." he answers.
I reach across the table and dope-slap him, "go over there see what he wants. Be glad he's in a good mood tonight."
"Why should I be glad of that?" I sigh and roll my eyes at him
. "Do you need me to remind you what happened last time you made Suds mad at you that's how you got your cyber eye."
I look over at Sarge "
Seriously, he never learns."
As Dragon is walking away he looks over his shoulder and at us, "I do so learn, I learned not to mouth off to Suds. He'll teach you the meaning of a poke in the eye."
"Yeah, you learned that lesson didn't you, one eye" He told me I was number one in his book. Sarge just chuckles and shakes his head at us.
A couple of minutes later Dragon comes back "Dru, Sarge, you might want to come hear this, Suds might has a job for us."
He probably has a lot of trouble finding clothes," Dragon whispers to me "when your 475 pounds and seven and half feet tall." Sarge elbows Dragon in the ribs and gives him a look that says "you better keep your mouth shut or else." We were looking at our new "partner" (for this job, anyways). He was definitely what most people would consider, a splicing job gone wrong. It was like he got not only the menacing grin and sharp teeth- maybe he had them filed down to the point,bit we weren't about to ask.- but the skin of an American Alligator. Not exactly someone that you would want to meet in a dark alley in the middle of the night. To top it all of his nickname was chomps.
"What exactly is this freak going to help us with suds?" Dragon sneers at Chomps. Sarge looked at Dragon and then he pointed at him with his cane, and Dragon blanches, starts convulsing and passes out. There was nothing like a 200,000 volt tazer shocking you, as a reminder to be quiet.
I look over at Sarge "Really Sarge, you just had to do that right know."
Sarge just looks at me and says "
What he deserved it. I warned him, he didn’t listen. Maybe this time he will actually learn his lesson."
"Probably not," Says Suds "Anyways down to business. About the job that I need you guys to do for me"
Suds looked at the three of us, "Some of my clients -if you understand my meaning- have had their vehicles broken into recently, while they were in
the parking lot out back," We suddenly understood about his "clients". The back lot was for the clients that were able to pay for the added security that the back lot provided.
"So, what do you want us to do about it?" I ask.
"Hold on a minute Suds, how did these vehicles get broken into no one can get into that lot with out your permission?"
"Honestly I am not 100 percent sure,"Suds shrugged.
"I may be able to help solve that mystery," Chomps
spoke up for the first time.
"One of my cousins went to the same doctor that I went to and, well you can see how well that turned out for me." Chomps shuddered "
Anyways he, got some of his friends to go to that same doctor and get the splicing done. And now they have formed a new gang called the Crocs."
We were all quiet for a minute then, Dragon sat up, got up and walked away while mumbling about needing a very strong drink to wake up his brain cells after that brain jolting shock. Everyone in the room looked over at me
"What are you looking at me for? Oh, right! You all want to know if Dragon will be alright for the job. Oh yeah he'll be fine just give him a couple of minutes alone with his brain cells."
"Suds, what exactly do you want us to do?" I wondered "If all of the gang members are like Chomps over here—no offense chomps but you huge—there is no way that we could beat all of them even if we had chomps help."
"I’m not asking you to do anything that illegal." Suds stated "
What I want you do is to teach them not to mess around with the Arena’s clients."
"Alright we can definitely do that, this is going to be fun." Sarges smiles.
"Sarge, hold your horses here we don't know a whole lot about the Crocs. I understand that this is fun but, we need more information about them to complete the job." I look over at him.
"I may be able to help with that problem also" Chomps looks at us. like I said one of them is my cousin. All that I have to do is call him up, and ask him where he is, then we can go see them."
"Alright" Sarge takes charge "Chomps you go call your cousin. Dru, go get Dragon and Tonie from the other room, so we can leave. Suds and I are going to talk about payment."
In the main room, I spot Dragon pretty quickly, but I don't see Tonie at all. "Hey Dragon let's go we know where we're going. Have you seen Tonie?" I ask him "She missed your drool fest on the floor."
I swiftly dodge the kick that he sent flying towards my solar plexus and say to him "your getting slow in your old age, brother."
"Yeah she went to the bathroom a couple of minutes ago." Dragon said. All of a sudden we hear a blood-curdling scream and a squeal and Dragon and I immediately run toward where we hear the scream originate from.
We kick the door in. Just as we enter the bathroom we see a scaly tail snaking out the broken window. We see Tonie's favorite orange fedora on the floor by the window, I would recognize that hat anywhere it was definitely Tonie that they took.
"Oh eff why does this kind of stuff always happen to us," Dragon punches the wall.
"Calm down, everything will work out, come on, lets go see if Suds caught their exit on video".
We walk to the backroom to tell them what happened and see if they got it on tape. After explaining the situation to them. We look at the security camera tape from a couple of minutes ago. One of the camera showed two Crocs dragging her towards a panel van with no windows then a shot of them leaving the parking lot. We obtain a copy of both the guys dragging her away, and the van.
"Sarge since Chomps does not know who those two are ask some of you contacts within the major street gangs," A couple of minutes later, someone from the local chapter of the Skinheads shows up to talk Sarge. Sarge and his friend Mr. Ben Franklin go meet the skinhead.
After about ten minutes Sarge comes back into the room "Those two guys were definitely Crocs, they usually hang around a warehouse on the corner of Elm street and Mockingbird lane." Sarge reported to us.
"Well that makes finding them a little bit easier," said Chomps.
"Right so that means that there going to that doctor again aren't they?" Sarge asked chomps.
"Yup they will, we have about eight hours until the splicing takes affect so let's go," Chomps said.
"Wait, before we go why would they take her?" I ask him as we are walking out to the parking lot.
"Well they may just bored of having all guys in their gang or maybe they want to ruin her life it's herd to tell," Chomps responded.
"Obviously you won't fit into my car Chomps, but I think that you will fit in to Sarge's van. Right Sarge."
"Yeah, I talked to my mini R/C auto-bots, and they moved the stuff in the back around enough so that he will fit"