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A Funny Story
I was beating a rhythm when it happened. No I did not fart in class. Also, no huge epidemic happened turning everyone into zombies, either. In conclusion, I realized I was bored.
I , Misty Twisty, have never been bored- at least in my memory. I was a superhero for crying out loud!
“The Misty Twisty” was famous for defeating crime. I talked in third person when talking about myself! I had catch phrases and metaphors that I cried out in life or death situations, I could not be bored!
I suddenly realized that my beat was terribly off, and chucked the pencil I was tapping against my desk, at the wall. Oddly enough no said anything of my minor breakdown. The bell rang, and all the other superheros that had nothing to do, shuffled out of class. I hanged back at class, to stuff all my stuff into my backpack, at a pain-stakingly slow pace- just for the effect.
As I dramatically burst out of the class room my hair blowing in the slight brezze. I went to strut my way to my locker, but unfortunately miscalculated the distance and had a little to much swagger to my walk and fell.
Luckily, my knight-in-shining-armor came to my rescue and helped me up. As I went to thank him, I found that I was alone, and that he had scattered of to find other DID's(Damsels in distress). I snickered, being a knight of all things, as a superhero, was probably one of the lamest things. Ever. As I stuttered, to my locker, my fake aura of coolness gone with out a trace, my best friend popped out of nowhere.
“She was the best superhero around, dark and mysterious, she never failed a mission. RACCOON WOMAM! Was fighting crime since she was three years old, and saved a defenseless 'rock lobster' from certain death...” I finished off dramatically reading off the passage, Raccoon Woman, had me read when ever she popped up.
Normally I wasn't one to be ordered around, but somehow Raccoon Woman had found out my weakness and now blackmailed me. We posed as best friends when in reality I was a victim of a horrible crime, committed by Raccoon Woman. In all honesty Raccoon Woman wasn't that much of a superhero as much as I was. She totally ignored the 3rd superhero protocol: Talk in third person when speaking of self. She apparently had her point of views all whacked out or something because she talked in first person when speaking of herself, talk about vain. Plus, she only defended bread oddly enough, only saving the occasional bread truck from certain doom.
Oh, what was my weakness you say? It was pretty lame and wasn't much of weakness really- at least not life threatening. Imagery was my weakness. Seriously anything even loosely related to imagery I couldn't do. I even had a certificate legally stating I was completely and irrevocably handicapped from imagery for life. It was sssooo embarrassing. Out of all the things, I was handicapped in imagery? Why couldn't I be allergic to paper or something?
I would have no social life whatsoever with my weakness exploited around school, so I manned up and did what Raccoon Woman asked of me. End of story.
I ignored my so-called best friend and strutted my way to my locker with a weak arrogance in my posture. It was somewhat degrading to announce a superheros' presence when you were one yourself. I dumped all my stuff in my locker, that was full of bread thanks to Raccoon Woman stealing my locker as well. I strutted the rest of the way home, mourning the fact I hadn't bothered to pick my pencil back up after I had chucked it a the wall.