I am the Lone Wolf

August 28, 2010
By , Portknockie, AL
Being alone isn’t as bad as everyone thinks. Yes, the nights are cold, with only the winds howl to keep me company. The dark clouds swallow the sky, imprisoning me in my frozen forest. Not a star dares to even blink in my direction. And yes, the days are short, as I sit, quietly wishing of a better life – a happy life - as the whole world unwinds before me. But I get through. But wishing isn’t going to make it any better. I’m still going to carry around the aching pain that consumes me, digesting any glint of happiness. But I learned this the hard way. No one wants to be friends with the Big Bad Wolf.

It wasn’t a particularly special day. The sun still hid behind the clotted clouds and the tall trees still cowered and twisted menacingly. I stood up from my bed of weeds and moss, wavering slightly, still half asleep. I stretched weakly, looking around at the dark, green forest that surrounded me, the colours a little blurred as my eyes adjusted to the light. There was no noise, only the heavy rasping of my morning breath. The forest was more like a ghost town than a welcoming abode for the chirpy forest animals. It was lifeless.

A violent rumbling burst out from my stomach, echoing faintly in the surroundings. It was breakfast time -the only time of day where I felt I had a purpose. I started walking, gradually building up a faster pace, rustling leaves as I swerved in and out of the tall trees, following my instincts as the smell of food got stronger. I kept running, throwing my body forward, the scent delighting my nose as my stomach screamed to be filled. The slight breeze glided over my matted fur, as I ripped through the damp air. I let out a howl, my heart beating frantically as a big grin stretched across my face. The smell was incredible and I was desperate for the berries. But, out of the blue, something caught my nose. There was a new, fresh scent and I grinded to a halt, my large paws clawing clumps of dirt. I inhaled deeply, letting the smell swirl around my nose, dancing faintly on my tongue. All the different aromas - oatmeal, cinnamon, ginger, cocoa, butter - melted together, inviting me in. I let the scent guide me, pulling me through the woods, the smell getting stronger and stronger. I licked my lips with delight, salivating uncontrollably. I was desperate to get to the mysterious scent.


I looked up for a second. The smell that burst like fireworks in my nose was uncontainable, and the food had to be close now. I hadn’t noticed how far I had came for food, and I looked up at the sky, the sun gleaming down on the dusty yellow path that tore through the greenery. This was the farther side of the forest. At this side of the forest, the sky was brighter, the trees were greener, and the atmosphere was more welcoming. But I didn’t fit in here.

The smell was still there, enveloping me with its velvety layers, but I was wary about venturing any further in that direction. I looked around searching for a large, glowing pile of food sent from the heavens waiting for me to devour it. And suddenly, I noticed a something red twinkle in the far corner of my eye, and my head turned sharply, curious -and alarmed - at what it might be. My eyes focused on the red thing, which swayed like a ball of fire in the sun, and noticed it appeared to be moving. This startled me, and I dashed behind a thick oak tree, peaking at the edges as the red ball got closer. It kept moving, jumping along slightly and as my eyes focused I could see two scrawny little legs bouncing along and two bunches of curly honey blonde hair, sticking out of opposite ends of a deep red cape. It was a young girl, and as she slowed down from a skip into a dainty walk, I noticed a small straw basket swinging back and forth, wafting the sweet scent that had directed me through the woods, and I saw large, plump cupcakes sticking out of the lid. My eyes lit up, ecstatic that the food was right in front of me.


Without thinking, I let my instinct pull me forward, foolishly standing in front of the little hooded girl. I looked at her startled expression on her face, slightly startled myself as I tried to act normal with a large, uncomfortable smile, while my heart beat nervously. My eyes were wide with fear, but she smiled back, and strange warmth overtook me.

Err...what’s your name? I said faintly, trying to make conversation as I eyed up the freshly baked cakes.


“Little Red Riding Hood.” She replied in a high pitched tone. She looked quite young and naive so I smiled gently, knowing that anyone older would have cautiously avoided me.

“So, em, where are you going?” I asked, awkwardly.

“My Grandmother’s house.” She answered. An explosion of hunger burst inside my stomach and I stopped the small talk, impatient for some food.


“Can I get a cake? Please?” I said desperately, the words spilling out of my mouth, as I looked down at my feet meekly.


“No!” She shouted back sharply. “Keep your large grubby claws away from my cakes you greedy wolf!” She gripped the basket in her hands tightly and swiftly walked away. I was startled and slightly confused, but chased after her, hoping she was joking, and grabbed onto her bright cape. She turned around violently, striking me across the face as she spun around like a tornado. I fell back, whimpering.


“Get away from me you monster!” she shrieked, scurrying away. Those words hurt more than the throbbing pain that grew in my cheek. What had I done wrong? Tears filled up in my eyes. I didn’t understand. I was not a monster. Why didn’t people trust me? I ran through the forest, trying to make my way back to my bed as fast as I could, tears streaming down my face. But the upset quickly turned to rage and I ran faster, growling through my teeth as I made my way to grandmothers house. I wanted revenge, not just for Little Red Riding Hood, but for every person that had ran away; that had automatically made assumptions about the big bad wolf. Everything went in a blur...


I looked down at the now empty bed. An overwhelming wave of guilt took me over and my eyes darted around the room, panicking. What had I done? I thought gulping and looked down at my now full belly. I had gone too far. The regret was drowning me. It seemed like a good idea at the time. What had I done? What would I do now? Just run away?


The door clicked open.
Of course, you know the rest of the story. I pretend to be grandmother, but Red notices my large features and the woodcutter comes and kills me. But I managed to escape. Run back to the shadows. Of course, the woodcutter changed that part of the story for his own personal gain. Everyone thinks I’m dead.

A part of me wishes I had stayed there that day, letting the woodcutter kill me. I would have deserved it. Every day I remind myself of the monster I let myself become. I did get angry again, with three annoying little pigs and a boy who kept crying my name, but for the most part, I just sit here alone in the dark, wallowing in my sadness. Being alone isn't as bad as everyone thinks.
It’s much worse.





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