Broken Dreams

May 19, 2010
By Anonymous

Prologue
April 19, 1875

Wordlessly he approached her. The eerie echoes of his footsteps disturbed the peace in her darkness. That was all she had left anyhow: quiet darkness. She struggled to raise her gaze to meet his. Such a piercing hue of blue stabbed at her heart, which then beat madly in her chest. She sat there, curled in a ball, perfectly still, eyes cold, in the corner. They held the painstaking gaze a second more, for he would not dare hold it any longer for her breathing became rapid. Suddenly, as if the very life had been snatched away from her, she collapsed.

Perfectly still, eyes cold, she lay with a never changing face, seemingly perfect, as an angel should be. If the boy had any emotions, he might have felt sorry for her. Her deathly black hair covered her ghastly pale face, her arms wrapped tightly around her. Perhaps she was comforting herself? He scoffed and turned on his heel, silently slithering away. For if he stayed longer, unnecessary emotions may have begun to develop.

He of all souls should know there is no need for love in Hell.




Chapter 1: April 2, 2010
Danger.

Danger.


Danger.
The cruelness of the world was beginning to melt as a warm metallic scent wavered in the air. Donmir’s wrist burned hot, it seemed on fire even contrasting with the coolness that was beginning to envelop her very being. Her eyes opened slightly as she fell to her knees, she felt on a high, she couldn’t get enough.
“What on earth do you think you are doing?” a sharp, stern voice demanded. Donmir’s attention snapped back to the real world and she eyed the annoying blob of color that she still couldn’t put a name to, it called itself her “Guardian Angel” until some switch, it babbled about often occurred.
“Don’t stand there and eye me like an idiot. You’re bleeding out like a cow sacrifice, I told you this wasn’t happening on my watch,” the blob of annoyingness mumbled and hovered—floated- whatever it does into the hall. Looking down, Donmir clutched her wrist; she hadn’t been able to end it--again. The sudden pain that had come caused tears to flood down her face. She stood carefully, staggering to find where the blob of annoyingness had wandered off too.
Donmir took the scolding without really listening. She never really listened anyway to the blobs. They were a strange haze of every amazing color you could think of, but could never name. One of the blobs had been “assigned” to her to protect her from someone. Leaning against the wall, Donmir flexed her now bandaged hand and watched the blob rummage the hall closet looking for some aspirin. Suddenly bold Donmir walked forward, hand outstretched toward the haze.
“Get your hand away.” It said softly, almost regrettably.
“Why not, you’ve been floating around in my house for the past month now. I think I deserve—“
“You deserve to randomly touch someone? Is this how you treat all your companions?”
Donmir huffed, frustrated, she glanced away from the blob, defeated. A sing-song sigh came from the blob as it hovered past her and into her room. Curiously she followed, arms crossed. “I really don’t understand why you’re still here. And why you came so suddenly.” She mumbled. A lock of her shoulder length black hair was lifted into the air, “And your ‘powers’, or whatever, annoy the fu-….fickle out of me.”
Recently the blob was hollering at every curse word she had said so she decided to play it safe this time.
“If you knew what was coming for you Donmir, you would appreciate me so much more.” It took shape, something it only does when a “life-changing” lesson made its rounds. Silently she watched as a haze of blues, greens, pinks and orange merged into a womanly shape, the symbol of a key appeared above where the angel’s heart should be. Awed, she reached out, desperate, needing something.

“Donny dear,” the angel said hovering away from her outstretched hand.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

The sky growled out to announce another oncoming storm, Don’s perfect weather, it seemed things impossible could happen in a lightning storm. Rain pelted the roof of the old house, and the familiar urge to run through the rain overwhelmed Donmir’s senses.

“I’m going out front, don’t bother following me.” Don snapped as she stomped to the front door, “I’m completely serious; I just want to be alone.”

The angel sat as her face turned grim. She could no longer try and protect Donmir anymore, for the next time she stepped into this house, Don would be utterly dead, and her only assignment was to protect the life of Donmir Alice Turnabout.


The author's comments:
Broken Dreams is a short story that is about a girl who, in the beginning, was tourmented by her past failures constantly, so much that it felt as if she was in Hell itself. Eventually she dies, but is given another chance by God to help other people who were in her state. She grows up inthe present and the thunder storm is God's signal to her. I hope to branch this short into more of a longer story to show how the hardships we go through can be our strength to help others who are going through what we fought against.

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This article has 20 comments.


on Feb. 21 2011 at 3:14 am
Raven_Mi BRONZE,
1 article 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
K.I.S.S.- Keep. It. Simple. Stupid

this is really gd

i hope there is more


on Jul. 12 2010 at 2:07 am
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

Oh also another thing. I asked to be rated on their honest opinon of my story.

on Jul. 12 2010 at 2:05 am
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

I know who this is, and yes I did get alot of support from my friends and family but they all voted one time, and I was voted on the front page once already, this is my second time. And I havent asked them again, Im very grateful for my viewers who rated me and support me, but I do not nag them to vote for me. Thank you for commenting.

on Jul. 12 2010 at 1:07 am
i think alot of the reasons though y u got voted two cause everybody at ur school and in your family also voted but u did good :3

on Jul. 12 2010 at 12:37 am
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

As of July 11, 2010 Broken Dreams was voted #2 on the SIFI/fantasy  page on TeenInk.com!!

on Jun. 17 2010 at 12:53 pm
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

Thanks again :] next time guys click the 'new comment' button so i'll know when you say something ^^ THANKS AGAIN FOR READING!

on Jun. 15 2010 at 11:20 pm
What a fantastic story !!!

on Jun. 11 2010 at 4:02 pm
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

Thanks :]

on Jun. 11 2010 at 4:01 pm
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

Thanks ^^ I'll continue to write to get even better! You too!

on Jun. 11 2010 at 4:00 pm
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

Thank you so much :] I'm gladly continuing this, look forward to the rest of Don's story on Teeninks website soon!

on Jun. 10 2010 at 1:20 pm
love the story! you should continue!

on Jun. 10 2010 at 12:56 pm
You know how much I enjoy you're writing Chalynn and this was really a great piece, especially with your ability to write something dark that's not shallow. It has meaning and is very colorful I enjoyed reading it. Reminds me of some of my old poems if you remember, well this was a great piece. I'm proud if that's not too wierd to say.

on Jun. 9 2010 at 9:51 pm
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

Oh okay thank you, I'll keep this in mind for later stories. :]

on Jun. 9 2010 at 10:40 am
this could get a little hard to folo....make sure u always have the point semi noticible even if its supose to be like mysterious.

anonymous said...
on Jun. 9 2010 at 10:31 am
dont know how to rate, but if i did it would definately get the best

Brody BRONZE said...
on Jun. 8 2010 at 9:31 pm
Brody BRONZE, Hurst, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.
- Michael Evans

Hi. This is Brody. I got your email to read this. Keep it up.

on Jun. 8 2010 at 12:02 pm
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it

on Jun. 8 2010 at 12:02 pm
XxMiSsAlicexX, Fort Worth, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who mind don't matter, and thos who matter don't mind"- Dr.Suess

Thanks so much :]

Scheryl B. said...
on Jun. 8 2010 at 11:58 am
Very talented.  Imaginative and thought provoking.  I can't wait to read more.

Noah T. said...
on Jun. 8 2010 at 11:34 am
GREAT!!! i love it so far! it sounds like a great story and deserves to be published!


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