Element of Brotherhood | Teen Ink

Element of Brotherhood

May 24, 2010
By itsdariannnn BRONZE, Pensacola Fl, Florida
itsdariannnn BRONZE, Pensacola Fl, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your journey starts with your first step


Seeing her cold face, riddled with times kiss, I began to break into a cold sweat. Closer and closer she came to me. Was this death coming to steal my last breath? No. It was something more powerful. With her hypnotic voice these chilling words that I shall never forget.

“After the great rebirth, nothing could ever possible be the same. The world’s innocence can never be restored and darkness will cover what was once a place of liberty, equality, and well being. This world that has been created needs guardian to aid the helpless people of this forsaken wasteland. Only the brotherhood can change your fate. They day is here. Peace shall be restored.”

Suddenly sharp pains shot through my shoulders, no word could describe what I was feeling except…freedom.

Waking up to the smells of mint and jasmine I remember home. Nine years in America and I still miss Japan. Turning my head in disappointment I come face to face with myself in the mirror. God, just look at me, classic Asian, jet black hair, sharp features, fair skin. Why must I stick out? The wardens always torture me about my looks.

It must have been the cold water of the shower that cleared my thoughts from their usual dishevelment. But as the chilling sensation hit my shoulders, I couldn’t help but flinch in pain. What the hell was wrong with my body? Trying to remember if the wardens gave any special “attention” to my back last time I was lashed, I remembered the only thing that gave me joy; my job. The job I was running late for.

Ever since the rebirth, the job market has escalated to monumental numbers. The wardens say that life must go as normal and for all citizens to remain working. I think all the extra work is to forget about the people that disappeared 10 years ago. I grabbed my uniform and I noticed the Emergency Beacon sounding in the watch towers. Crime was a major issue and a part of the reason why jobs like mine sky rocketed. Taking a job for The Elite means better treatment, more rations, and ultimately a better life over all. Elite Workers take care and control common people during chaos. We basically keep our world going and try to move on from what happened so many years ago. Even with my job as a Paramedic, and the perks that come along with it, my mouth always brings the wardens down on me…hard.

The Elite always enforces the continuation of our old habitual routines. Waking up, going to work, regular citizen activity. But eventually the Xeo-Zi started to threaten citizen living. That’s were the Elite Workers and the Wardens come in.

I inserted my identity ring into the door panel and the heat of the scan felt so familiar to me. Then the droning electronic voice asked for my destination as it did every time I left my enclosure. This is to assure The Elite where your going at all times.

“Destination?”

“Scene of disruption of peace.”

“Vehicle of choice?”
They bribe you with rewards like these but only to keep us from rebelling.

“Ambulance”
And suddenly my ears were flooded with the screeching sounds of the siren.


The scene that lay before me was one that struck fear into my heart. Their was a clear and familiar stench that filled my nostrils…The Xeo-Zi. They smelled of rancid meat, soiled water, and death. Dressed in their traditional clothing, I watched as their red robes ran through the streets and the stampeding crowd. I scanned the field of dying helpless dying people and I noticed all of the Elite Workers present; cops, journalist, and reporters. All were here to do the same thing. Keep the city tranquil. Since citizens rarely leave their enclosures now-a-days the only link to the outside world is via newspaper and television.


I spotted someone in the mass confusion. It was clear by her crimson garment that she was a Xeo-Zi and she was mumbling something that rang in my ears. A chant perhaps? Her irises were fixed to mine and I began to shiver and my skin became cold to the touch. It was like she was reaching into my soul and she was using my blue eyes as a gateway. Suddenly I found myself walking to her, even though I was willing my legs to stop. I felt my soul rip open and I doubled over in agony. It became an outer body experience and I saw myself along with three other Elite slowly trudging as if in a daze. She stopped her chant and removed the hood of her cloak. She was the lady from my dreams, the siren that haunted my mind so many nights before. She uttered words that made my heart beat as if it was in a massive heart attack.

“Mizu awaken”

I felt a pain I could never fathom, and I turned to see the women but she was gone and the only site I could see was the three other men in the same pain. And as if picked up by the hand of God I was instantly somehow existing in the heavens. Not only I but they too, except “they” weren’t “them” anymore. One had wings of dancing fire, another with skin of honey and wings of precious stone and rock, and the last had pale fair skin with wings of air as if stolen from the clouds around us. I turned my head and gaped at the object holding me up in the air; wings of running water. I felt myself falling into darkness but not before I heard the mystery women’s hypnotic voice.

“Welcome to The Brotherhood.”



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This article has 8 comments.


on Jun. 7 2010 at 8:56 am
itsdariannnn BRONZE, Pensacola Fl, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your journey starts with your first step

yeah understood but its only the first chapter haha so ill explain lol

on Jun. 6 2010 at 10:25 pm
roxymutt BRONZE, Marietta, Georgia
4 articles 5 photos 109 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. -David Henry Thoreau

OK although this was well written i was a little confused...explain the woman in his dreams a little more at the beginning but i do like this idea quite original and cool! keep it up

on Jun. 6 2010 at 11:11 am
NeverFallTooHard PLATINUM, Hartford, Wisconsin
24 articles 5 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.~ Rumi
Realisim, in painting, is what one wants to see, not what they really see. ~ Janet Fish

Tia ♥s it! it's amazing! Please hurry and post chapter 2, if there is one. If not, please make one. I love si-fi stuff, and this just blows the top on it. This ROCKS! *picks up a rock on the ground* Would u like a rock?

on Jun. 6 2010 at 10:21 am
itsdariannnn BRONZE, Pensacola Fl, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your journey starts with your first step

omg thanks for the feedbak! and yeah i so agree jynxx i need to work on revisions and thw awkwardness of some sentences. but i am new to this buit thanks! howd i like the subject and stuff?

on Jun. 4 2010 at 5:50 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

ooh. cool, i really liked it! u hav greatt word choice!!

on Jun. 4 2010 at 5:43 pm
Aquafina BRONZE, Lynn Haven, Florida
3 articles 16 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
And yet, to say the truth, love and reason rarely keep company now-a-days

Wow this is really great. For a few weeks...just wow

on Jun. 4 2010 at 5:19 pm
EmptyMemories BRONZE, Gardner, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't tell people how to do something. Tell them what to do and they'll surprise you with their ingenuity."

woah this is great :) i love it!

on Jun. 4 2010 at 5:11 pm
...PensiveGurl... PLATINUM, Aurora, Colorado
20 articles 0 photos 267 comments

Favorite Quote:
You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it- Neil Gaiman.
Who are you to be who you are?-Le'Na Pernell

Aside from one or two awkward sentences, this story was great! you say you've only been writing for a few weeks???? Well I envy you, 'cause you've got some serious talent. I hope there's more!!!!!