Society's End

April 27, 2010
By KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling


Artificial sunlight was streaming through the windows as I looked out over the seemingly infinite rows of cases covered with green canvases. I ran down the stairs and began throwing the sheets off. I looked at each of the green-eyed faces below the glass. Even though the electricity had been terminated and they were living on an ancient back-up generator, they looked so peaceful. The monitors attached hummed with diminishing life as the generator ran out of power.
As I progressed my way through the first row, I saw a girl who I thought looked familiar, which could be true. I could have seen her when I had been living in The Society a year ago, before I turned eighteen, a legal adult. I still remember the day that Arsennick, my brother, and I had first arrived.
“The new OVCs are here,” the clerk had said, ushering us into a large office. I didn’t want to be there. But then again, who would? I didn’t ponder this question because the man behind the desk began speaking.
“We are very sorry about the loss of your parents, and you will stay at The Society until-”
“The Society? Don’t you mean the orphanage?” I cut in, questioning.
“Some of our, shall I say, touchier, tenants prefer we call it this.” He chose his words carefully. “We will put you, Arsennick, up for adoption later this week. However, that has no effect on you.” He directed this last comment at me. “Your birthday is in three months and you’ll turn eighteen.” It was true; I had been expecting to celebrate my birthday with my family and a few of my close friends.
Even then, I had noticed that The Society was not doing well under the economic conditions. The walls flickered a little if you looked at them long enough, causing the electronic wallpaper to shudder. In some places, it was gone altogether.
I drew myself back to the present. I realized my hand was hovering above the “Release” button. As I stared at the face I was certain I had seen around the orphanage, I decided that I would come back after I found my brother. If I released her now, it would take time I might not have. I yanked my hand back and moved on.
As I continued down the row, I looked out over the others. How could someone put all of these children away in a remote room? I couldn’t lose my brother to this place. I shook my head and moved on, remembering the day just a few months ago when I was told that my parents had died in a horrible accident.
“Excuse me boys, I hope you don’t mind me cutting in here,” Mr. Philips, our parents’ lawyer had interjected as Arsennick and I were arguing over who got to select the Xperience to watch on the Portable Holographic Portal. Our argument seemed important at the time, a battle for power. But just a few minutes later, it seemed insignificant. Mr. Philips had bent down and turned it off by placing the cover slip over it, forcing us to direct our attention to what he had to say.
“The Tube transporting your parents to Puerto Rico shattered as their pod moved through, and they fell through to the deep ocean where the pressure crushed them.” He had such a grave look on his face that I didn’t dare to doubt him. This all seemed like some sort of sick joke. I couldn’t accept the fact that they, who had seemed so strong, died in an accident like this. “I’m very sorry for you both, but it may at least help you to know that they did not suffer.” The silence filled the room.
I glanced up and realized I had only been through ten of the lines. I made a mental note to go more rapidly. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw the word “Faster” glowing on my eyelids, the same way lights do when you stare at them for too long. The new BrainScan that I had saved my money for worked well. Shortly after leaving The Society, I had taken up a job at the Zip Chip, where I programmed Chips for people to put into their Bots at their homes. Though I had inherited money from my parents, I was determined not to touch it until I had Arsennick back.
I checked the time in the upper right hand corner of my vision. 20:49. I had until 21:00 to find Arsennick before the entire system would crash; making these cases their tombs. Concurrently, a Security Bot would come and sweep me out of the room under its arms. I had only disconnected the Zip Chip from the current one, and all too soon a new Security Bot would come to allow it to recharge.
If Arsennick was to leave with me, I had eleven minutes to find and release him.
I peered into the casket-like case of yet another orphan, my hope waning with the time. It appeared to me that all of the orphans were remarkably similar, which made sense because many of them were probably DesignerBabies. They had black hair and green eyes, the style of last decade.
My parents had hated the concept of DesignerBabies. They refused to even check if Arsennick was going to be a boy or a girl when I was five years old. This was also a big topic of discussion when we found out that he had ADD. My parents were fine with it. They were sure they wanted to raise him no matter how he came out, whereas my parents’ friends had been irate that they would do such a thing. He wasn’t the only one they would criticize, they used to look at me and scoff at my big nose and mud colored eyes. They said I was the most grotesque child they had seen in a long time.
My parents had no reaction to this, choosing to pretend it hadn’t been said.
I grinned at the memory of them, thinking how proud they both would have been seeing me stand up for Arsennick and myself.
Then I blinked. Faster. The smile disappeared and I began sprinting between the cases. Their green eyes were staring at me blankly. It pained me to know that I hadn’t been able to stop Arsennick from being put in here.
During one of my weekly visits to see Arsennick, I had found out that The Society was in a financial crisis by reading the Infopanel at the front desk. It scrolled, informing readers that the orphans were going to be put into suspended animation on September 20, 2047, one month later.
I then slammed through the doors of main office. I barely even noticed the walls were completely white, not even a flicker of what had been there before. I quickly searched for the clerk, but I couldn’t see her anywhere, so I let myself into the benefactor’s office and found him using the obsolete touch screen computer at his desk.
“Ah, Brokk. I am sorry about your brother. But, due to his condition, I doubt that anyone would have adopted him anyway,” he said nervously, searching my face for any sign of anger.
“What condition? Do you mean his ADD?” I asked, upset.
“Precisely. Anyway, due to the overpopulation in the Western Hemisphere, I doubt anyone would want a child any time soon. I would be immensely surprised if anyone was adopted. Adoption rates in the last ten years have dropped to less than two percent.”
“That may be, but Arsennick is my brother. He deserves better than this.”
“Ah, that’s why this is a tricky situation. You are his immediate family, so you should have the right to care for him. However, you aren’t old enough to legally be his guardian, and I don’t want a lawsuit on my hands.” He looked apologetic.
“Apparently you don’t want a bunch of orphans either!” I hissed furiously.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t do this.” He brushed past me on his way out the door.
Again, I checked the time. 20:59. I rushed through the next row of cases until I heard the bang of the door being slammed against the wall. I was wrong. The relief Bot must have come early and now I was out of time. I threw off the cover of the case in front of me, but to no avail.
I continued down the row to the second to last case. The Security Bot was almost upon me. I slid off the cover and nearly cried out with elation as I realized it was my brother. The hundreds of cases on both sides and even the Security Bot turning the corner into the aisle faded into the background as I placed my shaking hand on the Release button and the clock ticked up one number, 21:00.


The author's comments:
This piece was written for a competition called FPS (Future Problem Solving) and it only won third in the state, but tell me what you think anyways!

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This article has 21 comments.


KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2010 at 1:19 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Aww, thank you!! yeah, on one in my "real" life even now knows that i wrote this.... Seeing as how you now have commented on two of mine, let me know when you post another! I will so read it!

on Jul. 22 2010 at 10:26 pm
cantfindascreename BRONZE, Chino Hills, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service to others"

You are probably one of the most original writers on this website.  Like I said on one of your other stories, on my writers hall of fame! haha(: You just have such a talent for writing, and nothing really sounds awkward to me, which is a great accomplishment if you are the only person who loooked at it before you posted it.  Great concept, great writing, you are great!

AidanR. said...
on Jul. 16 2010 at 11:13 am
AidanR., Buffalo, New York
0 articles 0 photos 52 comments
This is well written and the last third is particularly strong.  you do make some references to things that aren't explained at all, and that is confusing, and I thought "irate" and a few other words didn't flow as well as they could, but that's just me.  Good story!

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 6:40 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Haha, thanks for the bold! 

on Jul. 12 2010 at 6:24 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

Great job, I love the plot! I've read a lot of futuristic stories, and this one is one of the best BY FAR. :)

on Jul. 7 2010 at 8:19 am
Inherinerd GOLD, Ashland, Ohio
16 articles 9 photos 302 comments

Favorite Quote:
A word to the wise ain't nessecary it's the stupid ones that need the advise

wow this is really good!! I like the future thing and you wrote it very well

on Jul. 5 2010 at 4:14 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

It's no problem, I really enjoyed commenting on your work:)

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 5 2010 at 2:23 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Oh thank so much, that actually means a lot.

on Jul. 4 2010 at 6:24 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This was so incredilbe, you really have a gift, I'm amazed it only got third.  Very unique and well-written, I love your character.

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 4 2010 at 12:55 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Why yes, yes this was one of the ones for this year! orphaned children actually. 

I've actually been to Internationals 2 years in a row and it is a BLAST. however, the Wisconsin facilities aren't very good.

You should just look it up on the official FPS site, 

I HATED THAT FUTURE SCENE SO MUCH! IT WAS HORRIBLE!


KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 3 2010 at 2:55 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Really? it is a Scenario... I dont know... what affiliate do you go to? 

Have you ever been to Internationals? it is sooo cool!


KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 3 2010 at 2:55 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Haha, Why thank you!

We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 2 2010 at 11:34 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.

Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn't have any rings

I just started FPS last year and was lucky enough to make it to states, everyone tells me I should do the Scenario writing next year, I'm one of the biggest authors in a magnet school( Not Bragging, I'm just the only one that teachers who don't know me talk about my writing, and ones that do ask me if I'm published) Was this one of the ones for this year? Good luck on next years scenario writing, maybe i'll see you next year at internationals. (I want to go so bad) have you ever been? Do you know any sites that I can look up info about the scenario writing, our coaches know so much about ewverything else but next to nothing about the scenario writing. Tips sugestions anything please? Sorry for all the questions but did they also kil you guys up there with the stupid aquaculture fuzzy when all the vocab and sites talked about agriculture, then give a word for word UP that you had to follow or else they ripped your booklet in two and said to bad?

on Jul. 2 2010 at 10:19 am
wordweaver96 PLATINUM, Winchester, Kentucky
37 articles 2 photos 255 comments

Favorite Quote:
" It is not our abilities but our choices that show who we truly are. "
Albus Dumbledore


See, we really DON'T have anything to fear but fear itself!

Wow! You're so lucky! Our FPS competitions never had you write stories, or anything like that!

on Jul. 2 2010 at 10:17 am
AubreyTRieder PLATINUM, Clark, New Jersey
29 articles 0 photos 85 comments
this was soooo cool! i enjoyed it very much! ^.^ keep up the good work! this is the 2nd story ive read by u and i will deff read more! :)

on Jul. 1 2010 at 12:43 pm
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
ya same, just a little simpler, the beginning is always hardest 

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jun. 30 2010 at 9:21 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Hmm, thank you for the insight. I knew my beginning needed a little work.

on Jun. 30 2010 at 8:01 pm
AQuietPerson SILVER, Columbus, Pennsylvania
7 articles 10 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You have such a unique way with words"









-Mrs. Peterson

The beginning was very confusing and hard to catch on too and i found myself not wanting to read anymore but it cleared up alittle more later on. I think some more backround information will help clear things up

on Jun. 30 2010 at 4:00 pm
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

Very cool. Usually people ruin future stories, making them too corny, etc, but this was very impressive. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Check out my work!

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jun. 29 2010 at 9:14 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Why thank you. Ill keep that in mind, about the beginning part.


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