The Gingerbread Children

February 2, 2010
By Anonymous

Once upon a time, there lived a newlywed couple, Tenley and Joey, who had been making an effort to have children for quite a while. They didn’t have any luck doing so and were very upset because of this tragedy. However, Tenley, had a brilliant idea to bake a gingerbread girl. The only problem with this was that Joey, her husband, had always wished for a son. They settled on baking two. Tenley rolled out two gingerbread kids, using Twizzlers for their mouths and M&M’s for their eyes and buttons. She slid them in the oven, set the timer for an hour and a half, and waited anxiously. “Now I shall have a little child of my own,” she thought.

When it was time for the Gingerbread Children to be finished baking, she opened the oven door and pulled out the pan. Out jumped the little Gingerbread Children on to the floor, and away they ran, out of the door and down the street! Tinley and Joey ran after them as fast as they could, but the Gingerbread Children just laughed and shouted, “Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can't catch me; we’re the Gingerbread Children!"

The Gingerbread Children ran on and on until they came to the Jaycee Beach shore. They frantically worked together to build a small sailboat to float away as the couple ran closer. Yet as soon as they arrived, hopeful to catch them, the Gingerbread Children had pushed off seconds before, now drifting towards another land.

While the Gingerbread Children approached the Keys, a group of sharks spotted them. “They look awfully delicious, don’t they?” the larger shark commented as he set off toward them, the smaller sharks trailed behind. They leaped out of the water, snapping their humongous teeth at the Gingerbread Children.

They arrived in Conch Key just in time to hop off their handmade sailboat and taunt the sharks calling, “I ran away from Tenley! I ran away from Joey! Swim! Swim! As fast as you can! You can’t catch me; we’re the Gingerbread Children!”

The Gingerbread Children casually walked into a bar where a bunch of people were gathered around a young man, drinking and gaudily singing, “Happy birthday, dear Cameron! Happy birthday to you!” Just as the group had finished the song, the Gingerbread Children hopped up on the bar and ran around, knocking down their drinks, making a terrible mess. The people now very far from sober after partying for several hours, swung their arms after them. However, all they managed to do was create an even worse mess. A few men kept chasing after them although the Gingerbread Children didn’t even have to run to keep out of reach because of their stumbling.

They laughed harder than ever, saying, “I ran away from Tenley! I ran away from Joey! I ran away from the humongous sharks! Stumble! Stagger! As fast as you can! You can’t catch us we’re the Gingerbread Children!”

Although the Gingerbread Children were expeditious runners, running away from everyone they saw was beginning to bore them. So they decided that the hotel pools looked very refreshing to go for a midnight swim. They removed their M&M button, so as not to let their color fade in the chlorine, got a running start, and did a cannonball straight into the deep end of the pool. They were having a blast splashing around and playing their first water games. In the middle of their game, they hit one another and their arms immediately crumbled. “Oh my! I’m a quarter gone!” the Gingerbread Children cried. They attempted to get out of the pool but, when they did their legs collapsed beneath them. “Why, I’m half way gone!” Still hoping to make it to the bubblegum machine to repair themselves, their M&M eyes and buttons fell off. “Oh no! I’m three quarters gone!” And after that, the little Gingerbread Children never said anything more at all.

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