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One day in a fairy tale land far from here, on a completely different planet, lived me, Beary the bear. I was a princess in my parent’s castle, but they were humans. As a matter of fact, everyone surrounding us were humans. I was the only bear on the entire planet and I was my parents’ only child. That made it difficult because they needed to retire sooner or later and they couldn’t until I got married.
“God damnit, Beary!“ they would tell me “Why can’t you be a human!?“
We all knew my marriage wasn’t going to happen anytime soon because I am a bear, and no human would want to marry a bear. That made my parents super angry and they came up with this evil scheme to get rid of me.
So, they took me on a long vacation to another planet, in the middle of nowhere! They ditched me in the middle of the jungle and I had no idea where I was. They flew back home and for all I knew, they probably adopted a new beautiful human daughter faster than anyone would ever expect. And I bet she got married the very next day too! That would mean that my parents would quickly be retired and the new daughter would take over the planet! I was sad. I didn’t know where to go; I had no one to go to. I was lost.
I ventured around until I spotted something in a tree.
“Oh! Hello!” said a large, but friendly looking snake. He introduced himself and told me his name was Tim the snake. I told him about what had just happened so he replied by telling me a long story about how he got these intense magic powers. He also told me that he could use them to turn me into a human so I could be happy.
He told me it would be as easy as me drinking a magic potion. All I had to do was gather all of the simple ingredients that Tim the snake told me to gather. This list included things such as grass, water, berries, dirt, wood, and even pine needles. I quickly started on my expedition; I was nervous but excited as hell. I mean, who wouldn’t be excited to be a human!?
I came to a path where I saw a large pond at the end. I ran up to the water, took a big mouth-full
and kept it in there. I ran back to Tim the snake and spit it at him which he quickly caught in a bowl that he pulled out of nowhere. I continued down a different path.
As I was walking, I looked up to see large, round, ripe blue berries hanging from trees all around me. After eating a few, I gathered a few more and took them to Tim. He threw them in the bowl and squished them and mixed them into the water with a spoon that he also pulled out of nowhere. I left again, running in excitement, and gathered everything else on the list. I worked so flippin’ hard to gather all of these things and I was so excited to finally be beautiful and I was thinking so much that I lost track of where I was… and I got lost.
After awhile of wandering around in circles, I got tired and decided to take a nap on the ground. When I awoke, there was another bear lying right next to me! I quickly got up in shock and woke up the other bear. She got up, confused, and after awhile of staring, we started to talk.
Her name was Barb and she was born in the jungle. She knew everyplace and everyone there. So, after I talked to her about my strange day, I asked her to help me get back to Tim the snake. She pointed me the way, and I quickly ran to him.
Once I returned to Tim, I gave him all of the ingredients, he whipped it up real fast for me and before I even realized what was happening, he handed me the drink. I drank it all faster than I expected I would, and I drank every last drop. But, as I stood there, I noticed no change. I looked up to ask Tim why his potion was not working but as soon as I did, he was no longer there. “Crap!” I thought to myself. I was upset, nonetheless.
I started running, on a hunt to find Tim, I was mad! In mid-sprint, I turned into a beautiful girl. My body lifted off the ground and I spun in circles and I fell to the ground. I was too dizzy to open my eyes at first but when I did, I was human. I paused to look at myself and I was automatically filled with excitement. I started jumping up and down and screaming with all my might, without thinking about the fact that I was no longer a bear. All of the fuss attracted Barb the bear, she came running around the corner, pounced on me, and before I knew it I was in her stomach with one bite.