Killer-Part 1

September 24, 2009
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I've always been bored with my life. I read all these stories about wizards and werewolves, and i longed to be part of them. I guess i got more than I bargained for.
I was only your average teenage girl. I was pretty, definitely, but not beautiful. I had curly black hair and bright green eyes. My skin was so pale it looked white. My friends said it made me look like a vampire. Little did they know how right they were.
It was on my twelfth birthday, when my life fell apart. I started to feel thirsty. I drank ate, did everything, but it wouldn’t go away. After a week, I was sick. After two weeks, I was dying. Then, I woke up.
No, I wasn’t dreaming, but I had fainted, at least, that's what I was told. I didn’t wake up until I felt a straw in my mouth. I drank the warm liquid, and immediately I felt better. There was a boy in front of me, holding the straw.
“You’re awake.” he said, “That's good.”
I moaned and tried to get up. The boy gently pushed me back down. “You're weak from loss of blood,” he continued, “Here, this will help.”
He pushed another straw into my mouth. I felt energy rush into my veins, and I sat up gingerly.
I looked at the mysterious boy who had saved my life. He had black wavy hair, and skin like mine, pale white. His face was, well, perfect. He had a square jaw, and a small nose. His face didn’t look real; it was like a perfect marble sculpture. Hen I looked at his eyes. They were a bright green, like mine. They seemed to see right through me, and made me nervous. I hoped my eyes didn’t have the same effect.
I didn’t know what to say to him, but luckily, he broke the ice. “My name is Delos.”
“I'm Iris.”
“Nice name.”
I started laughing, but laughter echoed strangely in the room or cavern or wherever I was. I stopped laughing. Why would Delos bring me here, and care for me for no reason. He had to have a purpose.
“Doles,” I said, before I could lose my nerve, “What do you want from me?”
He laughed. “You are not strong enough to get what I want. But you will learn, oh yes.”
“Learn what?”
“How to survive.”
“You're avoiding my question.”
He laughed again, “You don't understand what you are, and I will teach you. You can become invincible under me.”
“What am I?” I whispered, even though deep down inside, I knew the answer.
“Vampire,” he said, and I collapsed into a dead faint

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This article has 44 comments. Post your own now!

Pensivegurl said...
Dec. 18, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Yay! Loved it! >.<
Secreteer replied...
Dec. 19, 2009 at 4:01 pm
thanks. parts 1, 2 and 3 just came out so you can keep reading. just so you know, this is technically part 2. there is a prologue thingy so when you look at the next part, read from the beginning
padme said...
Nov. 5, 2009 at 6:28 am
every person's pov is different. i guess i have heard too many vampire stories....they are to popular thing to write now.
padme said...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 6:01 pm
it sounds twilight esqu. nothing against it, but i have read too many vampire stories lately. its good, dont get me wrong, but vampires are overused.
CrazyClimber replied...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 6:41 pm
in twilight, edward has no personality, hes mr. perfect. in Killer, Delos has extreme mental issues and is not nice at all. and there are no werewolves, just vampires. i dont really see the similarity to twilight
Hope_PrincessThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I really really like it, and I really want to read more. Superb writing!
Thanks for commenting on my Prologue-I love it when I get comments!
TheOneWhoKnowsAll replied...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 8:09 pm
me too......
flute_bandie1493This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 8:49 am
i love this, its really good! keep writing!
hawkfire said...
Nov. 3, 2009 at 4:43 pm
awsome story
continue IT
read my story people its knwn as run away from IT but IT might not be there because i just submitted IT.
dragonfan said...
Oct. 13, 2009 at 11:26 am
wow this is great! I can't wait to read more
UnidentifiedArtist said...
Oct. 7, 2009 at 8:52 am
Very good. Cant wait for the next one.
CrazyClimber said...
Oct. 4, 2009 at 2:22 pm
i submitted my this with a prologue and chapters 1 and 2. this is a flashback from wherever dead people go, because iris dies. im not ruining trhe story. youll see when it comes out.
RLJoy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 8:49 pm
this is really good seriously its amazing do u know how many chapters it's going to be? Also look out for all of my new written work and i really like many of ur poems and articles to but tell me when ur other chapters come out
Tiara B. replied...
Oct. 4, 2009 at 6:56 am
This is awesome. You should continue with it I'm pretty sure someone will love it as much as i did
moorgie said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 7:28 pm
This is good. Really good. It's a quick jump into the beginning if it is a full book, but I still really like it. It is just the thing that all us fantasy writers think about. Who wouldn't want to be a character in one of their own stories, I love how you made her a character of the stories. That's ingenious.
CrazyClimber replied...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 8:01 pm
i checked ur profile. im a nerd 2 and we both love harry potter and maximum ride. did u read the new one, MAX? i just finished. its SOOOOOOOOO good
moorgie replied...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Yeah boi!!!! I haven't finished my profile yet by the way XD! But yeah I loved it it was so good! It's nerdy stories like that I tend to like the best!
CrazyClimber replied...
Oct. 8, 2009 at 12:40 pm
my thing is nerdy? omg im hurt. no its ok. hows ur stuff goin
RLJoy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 7:17 pm
OMG this is so good!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is very detailed and its so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CrazyClimber replied...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 8:02 pm
so is urs. i love gone with the wind. thats my favorite
CrazyClimber said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 7:04 pm
im working on that now. i actually have a preface written but it would kinda ruin the story. i hope you like delos, because he is much more ruthless than you see in this chapter
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