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Monster

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As I'm sitting here, in this box-shaped room, staring at my prey three feet away from me, I am anxious. This child, an innocent child, will die. She is nothing to me, nothing at all. When she wakes, only then will she notice my presence. She is sleeping calmly, probably dreaming sweet childish fantasies of blue skies and purple unicorns flying to see a magical princess. Little does she know that in a few short hours her rosey red complexion will fade away to meet a dull white color. Little does she know that the curls that surround her face will fade and cover a life-less dull face. Little does she know of her radiant blue eyes fading with the sunset. Unlike the sun, her eyes will never surface again.

~Little does she know of the monster I am~



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kelseyp96 said...
Oct. 8, 2011 at 2:18 pm
fantastic i wish there where more to it
 
peacerocks said...
Oct. 7, 2011 at 10:22 am
This is just amazing! It is suspenceful and leaves me wanting more!!!!! Reply if you agree with me!
 
Juhcub This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 9:35 am
It's just amazing! Great piece!
 
Anonymous_7 said...
Oct. 1, 2011 at 8:03 pm

This is really good! Its short and sweet, I like it! Would you mind commenting/rating my work? Thanks!

 

 
HateKnuckle said...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 6:29 pm
This is amazing. I wish I could throw a lot of swear words in to show my awe at how unbelievably good this is. I am copy pasting this, 5 starring it, and facebooking it.
 
Lacer said...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 8:01 pm
I LOVE crazy people :3 especially the homicidal ones. Why, my dear, those are the best kind.
 
burgerman replied...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 8:46 am
What Lacer said!
 
ninjacheesecakecinnamonroll said...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 8:56 am
great!!! its pretty cool i kept thinking whats going on but i finally got it!!
 
crazycatlady said...
Sept. 9, 2011 at 10:12 am
I absolutly love scary stories. this was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. THis waas crazycatlady bye!!!!!
 
tekno1990 said...
Sept. 5, 2011 at 12:36 pm
That was great, You weren't afraid of what people would have thought about something so dark and scary. I thought this was very creative and the detail of the child was perfect. Great story
 
DarkPandaAngel said...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I really like this story. You described everything very well. 

DarkPandaAngel

 
Warriorsfan replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Wow!I lov your work!These kinds of stories have always been my favorite kind!Keep it up!
 
DarkPandaAngel replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Thank you. I will. :)

DarkPandaAngel

 
MonaLisaSmile said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 10:13 pm
This seriously gave me chills. No joke. Please add to this! K thanks. :)
 
Meago said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 8:31 pm
Thank you all for your comments! They mean so much!! I've actually tried to add more, and it just won't go... lol!
 
4everyoung15 said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 1:28 pm

And why was your teacher worried?! shes wack this is amazing! u should have a prequel!

 

 
Fangstorm_The_Vampire replied...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 12:45 pm
er teacher was wooried that she would become a mass murderer. But I like it too!
 
StarGazer453 said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 8:55 pm

I loved the mysteriousness of this piece.  The monster is hinted at subtly, but not fully explained.  I'm leaning towards vampire, though.  

Brilliant work!  5/5!

 
C.K.Snow said...
Jul. 11, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I quite like this article and it caught my attention almost immediately.

I recently wrote an article called, "Artemis James and the Foxwirth Curse". I would appreciate it if you checked it out.

 
fizza said...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 5:23 am
what do you think, vampires exists?
 
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