Our Story

July 25, 2009
Hello, this is our story. No date nor time can I tell you when this happen but it did. No place or location but it was there. Like ocean shells bleached by the sun so is this memory. Faded color and lifeless. It was quiet, so very quiet only the sounds of footsteps trailed behind me. Was I in a dream? I would never know. I know there was trees, a vast amount of trees in soft moonlight but where I don't recall. You were there. Beside me holding my hand at least I think. You were scared, like me confused but I could feel your palm sweat beneath mine. I wanted to ask how you were but I remained quiet. I should have asked. Through trees, shadows and leaves we walked silent hand and hand. You were scared, I could feel it but so was I. my heart shook like leaf in the wind only there was no wind and my heart wasn't a leaf. I was very scared and yet I knew I was safe. I couldn't tell if you knew you were too but we continued. Past trees and into a sea of green plain. We stopped at the edge of the division. To go out of shelter where anything can hide from sight or to walk in open ground and be afraid. I looked at you. You were not looking at me or the plain or the trees you were looking at the sky. The sky was a portrait of indigo with scattered dots. I want you to look at me as if I was there but you didn't. You were at the stars, your mind lost within spirals of dots, I wanted to say your name, I wished I did but I didn't. I didn't. I wish. I looked at the plain, green shallows beckoning soft innocence. I smiled looking at you and the plain. Simple beauty. You looked at me, lost, scared, confused. I wanted to say something but instead I held your hand. A dream it must had been. I could feel you warm and cool under my palm. Watched your chest move with every new breath but you looked lost, scared, confused. Human, I thought, human. Living breathing creature within my grasp. I felt sudden longing to hold you then. An urge unknown to my fingertips. My arms ached, my chest empty. I was a glass wanting to be filled. You were lost, scared, confused. I wanted to say something, I wanted to hold. A fire boiling in my head with flames tinkling my tips. These feeling came over me like rain, and waves rocking my mind, stinging my senses. But you were there holding my hand lost, scared, confused, stars in your eyes. The plain beckoned and swayed but I stood still. Warmth over came and warmed the aches in my arms but I was still empty. You smiled. Looking at me you smiled. No longer lost. No longer scared. No longer confused. Life. You smiled. Such feeling, such longing. I wish I could. I wanted to hold you close to me but I held your hand. I was amazed but I was empty but I longed for you, for your smile. I could feel myself fill with hunger, desire. I was left empty now with two hands, both empty and longing. You had let go. Living, breathing, freely. I stood there as you danced in the grass. Running, dancing, living. I wanted to say something. I wish. I couldn't. You were happy. You ran farther and farther laughing, smiling, and living. Running past the horizon. I was alone, no one to hold. Such longing, such desire faded. I stood still; the heat was leaving my hand. Looking on to the horizon the sun was nearly up. Just the rays skim the plain and bounced off the trees. I turned to the trees before the sun could peak over. But before I disappeared I could feel only emptiness, my body dissolve in to the braches. At long last the sun reached the earth. I wish. Could I? Like the ocean shells bleached by the sun so is this memory. Faded color and lifeless.

“Goodbye”





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