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Well this is the second story ill be working on at the same time off and on and I just want to say…. Please hang in there with me!!!!.... I really hope that I don’t always keep you waiting for ages and I really want this story to take off… but for that to happen I really need to have motivation and right now that’s you lovely readers, tea, and a bunch of terribly “healthy” snacks… heehee…. Anyway, Onward!!!
Main character: Brad
Secondary character: Nick Other characters:?
I awoke to the sound of my screaming alarm clock, and rolled out of bed warm and exhausted. I sighed and went to take a shower as to remove the wet label of “skunk” that was clearly written all over me.
As I dried my hair I became aware I could actually control my own body for once and looked into the mirror. “It’s me.” I stated. As I said this, an objectionable voice wove into my ear. “Who’s you?” it asked. I turned briskly to see who had clearly snuck into my home, but found thin air. A welcome thing in my household. Sighing I threw on some clothes and a hat, and walked out the door. Seconds later I returned because I had absently mindedly forgotten my wallet. Grabbing it I turned and shouted “Goodbye!” to my seemingly empty house.
Later, I walked through the streets, grocery bags in hand. I glanced suspiciously from under the brim of my hat trying to avoid contact with the blinding sunlight. Seems today as well as every other day I get a blasted headache. I turned into a shadowed street and walked in the direction of the café my buddy Nick works at. Looking up when finally out of the light brought me more grief than I could have imagined! Of course, I had to see the crows! Oh those haunting crows! Damn them for being everywhere in this blasted city. I just wish I could get some peace at least when I’m asleep! “shoo.” I said under my breath, slowly stopping to glare at the menace. Then with my growing rage I belted out the loudest noise in the entire hustle and bustle of the city. “SHOO DAMN IT” I bellowed.
Now I came to reality that not only was I glaring at the bird but the bird was glaring back at me. Just as if to say, ‘I’m not bothering you’ and flew off. Well I walked a block and found my friend Nick standing with his arms crossed in his weightier outfit. “Was that you?!” he asked stunned and confused. Now mind you, that when I yelled I was in a city and also a whole entire BLOCK away, so, for me to believe that anyone in his proximity heard me, was out of my mind entirely.
Uhhh… ‘He heard that?!?! I thought to myself. “No of course not.” I replied, and briskly walked inside because I was getting weird stares from those who apparently heard me too. “Brad! Why did you come here? You know I have to work.” I turned and gave him ‘the look’. Nick licked his upper lip and clenched his teeth. “Oh, another one huh?” he inquired. I sighed. “Take a seat, I’ll be right out.” He groaned.
I went to the only empty booth and quickly wished for another open place because this one was a window seat and I am trying to hide from the damn crows and the sun. Both of which have full access to the window.
Nick came over and sighed. Fidgeting he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I glared at him. “What?! It calms me down!” I turned and coughed. “Fine!” he flicked the cigarette rudely to the café floor. I glanced at the ash tray but figured I pissed him off enough already. “Sooo…” I trailed off.
Weeeelllll I’m baaack!!!! And I have NOTHING new to share. Soooo….. Tallyho!
BTW I proudly have nothing to disclaim because all characters are mine and mine alone! SO NOONE STEAL THEM!!!! THEIR MY DARLINGS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Once again… Brad’s POV. KK?
I began by describing to him my most recent reoccurring dream. One about, oh duh! The crows!!! And of course he sat there with a look of confusion and blank nods of his head to assure me I was not yet insane. *sigh* “Do you get what I’m saying” I grudgingly asked. “Not really but I want to.” he smirked. “You are so impossible!” I argued. “Well you’re just plain confusing” Nick joked before eyeing out the window. Then just as soon as I went to look at what he was just moments ago, I found myself stuck. Nick had leaned over and gave me a long peck on the cheek! I turned; he shushed me before I could even breathe and said “good luck” then he slid out of the booth and walked away.
Damn it!! I thought to myself as I could feel my face warming up rapidly. I breathed in and then looked around to see if anyone had noticed. And I luckily saw that no one…. “OH MY GOD!!!!” I screamed as I saw a stupid black, black crow STARING at me through the window! Oooookay….. I thought to myself as I looked around and now noticed that EVERYONE was staring at me with gaping mouths. Oh good grief! Just what I need right now, more blank stares. I slid out of the booth and waved at Nick who mouthed the words ‘nice’, and ‘call me’ as I ran toward the door.
Great! Just great! Now ill be known as the loud mouthed idiot that has a strange paranoia of birds! I walked home with my hat on tight and my head down the rest of the way home.
“I’m home.” I sighed as I walked into my empty home. I swear I need an inmate! It’s soooo annoying for it to be so quiet all the time. Though it’s good for thought. I need a lot of processing time. And all my nightmares spark moans and shouts of many kinds, and that would surely keep anyone awake. So I guess that’s out. Well whatever’s best I guess...
Back in the restaurant Nick tore off his serving apron and sighed. “What a day…Geez Brad.” He stated all muffled. He thought about the crazy scream that kid had and that furrowed brow that made his nose look so cute and his eyes so kiddish. “AGH! What am I going to do about him!!!” he shouted in the employee washroom mirror. Why the hell did I do that?! Nick asked himself. He splashed some cold water on his face and trudged across the room to get his apron. Then dried his face and walked out of the small back room.
“I should…uh…call Nick.” *Groan* “Let me try that again, I will call Nick” I idiotically told the TV. After flicking a few more channels I tossed down the remote and slid from the sofa. “Phone, Phone, Phone….” I mumbled as I walked to the kitchen to look for my cell. When I found it I called Nick’s number. Time passed and all I got was a busy signal. “Okies…? So he tells me to call and then he doesn’t answer, well maybe some one called him from work. Or it’s his mom or something.” Groaning, I dragged my fingers along my scalp, roughly grasping my hair. “Why me!!!” I called out. “Who said it’s you?” a voice echoed around me. Suddenly I found myself gasping slightly because I felt an invisible hand pulling its fingers in various tightening patterns around my neck. Then I fell to my knees as a shooting pain ripped across my back as if claws scratched and pulled a wound into my skin, followed by delicate agonizing pecks to the cuts. I fell forward into the corner of my kitchen table and found myself lying on the floor with a small trickle of blood from my forehead. My eyelids fluttered shut to the lonely vibrations and tune of Beethoven coming from my cell phone.
“That idiot…” Nick said rolling his eyes. I tell him to call, he calls, I'm busy and then when I try to call him back what does he do?! He ignores me. “Wait.” Nick paused before kicking a ‘so called’ empty soda can, and ran out the door after grabbing his coat and keys.
Somewhere deep in my head I heard a whisper, a whisper that lowered my self esteem just with its tone. Turning I tried to escape but I made no fashionable distance between the voice and myself. It grew louder, stealing my train of thought. Soon the voice stopped swirling and became crisp and clear. “Do you know who you are? What you came from and where you’ve been? Do you know your destiny?” the female voice asked. Now instead of running I turned to face the blackness. “Come, find your destiny!” she said. I was being drawn to this voice; I wanted to know my purpose and what path I should choose in life. So I began to walk farther into the darkness, gazing at what a blind man must see. Not knowing if my eyes are open or shut. What seemed to be decades later, there was a change. The dark void I was walking into began to flutter and spots of light appeared. The darkness sprouted dimension and I could see that the light was far away and the darkness was enveloping me. I started to breathe harder and faster, my adrenaline rushing. For there before me I saw thousands of crows. Growing closer and closing in all around me. Spiraling around me like a cyclone the wings thundered and whipped my hair, throwing me off balance. I was trapped.
A pounding sound bounced around in Brad’s head, muffled words mixing and increasing the beat that was hurting his head. Then a screech sounded suddenly pulling him from his painful rest. A second later arms rapped around him and….” DON’T!!!” Brad screamed, barely able to push harder than a child. “Brad! Brad! Chill, its okay! It’s me, Nick. Snap out of it, you’re dreaming!” After Brad opened his eyes he saw that his friend Nick had come in after pounding and calling his name for god knows how long.
“Brad? Are you okay? I came over when you didn’t answer your phone. What Happened?!”
One way or another I knew that I was going insane. What decided it was between the dreams or the hallucinations.
Nick then interrupted my running thoughts and asked over and over what it was that happened, and if I was okay. This in my perspective was rather annoying to one who just hit their head, and was barely able to think complete sentences. “Nick! I'm alive! Cool it!” Shocked at my outburst Nick nearly cracked my head open again by releasing the support to my back and standing up. “Fine, I’ll leave, I only meant you well and now I don’t think you deserve it. Talk to you when you’re more civil Brad.” With a huff he was gone. Standing, I walked over to close the door and pressed against it to click the lock.
Three days passed and I received no word from Nick. I lulled about my days and made use of my time off -from the job I have yet to find- by watching the tube and playing paddle ball, with cheese curls. (^_^)
I was on my five hundred and third paddle when I lost my concentration from a knock on the door. I restarted paddling and yelled to come back tomorrow when I had nothing to do. A few moments passed and then a louder pound hammered the door. “Okay, fine. I'm coming!” I hollered. I kept paddling. Then I soon stood and went to answer. “Who is it?” I growled and not waiting for a reply I pulled wide the door motioning with my paddle to come in and get it over with.
After the person trotted in a ways I opened my eyes and nearly squeaked in alarm. I stood there with my jaw hanging open for flies as none other than ‘Nick the Bold, and Determined’ walked in with a huff and plopped down his stuff and said “Where do I bunk?” rather pointedly.
“Oh, no you don’t!!!” I stuttered. “Oh, yes I am” he demanded. Closing the door and my eyes I sighed and used fake reasoning. “You can’t because I only have one bed.” Pointing to my bedroom as if he new it like the back of his head he stated, rather matter of fact. “One really big bed” Glaring I said I am not even going to consider you and me sleeping together.” “Fine then I get the sofa. More TV for me! Ha!” Glaring, I told he who did not seem to budge, that one; I could not afford two people living in my small yet large for one person house for more than a week and that two; I did not want or think it wise for either of us to live together at all!!!
“I don’t care” Nick said. “I'm staying and that’s that.” Bargaining at this point was not going to work, so I clearly was going to have to succumb for a while until other arrangements could be made. “Okay, fine. Come in; make your self at home.”
“Thank you!” Nick bowed.
“BUT! I am not sharing the bed!”
As Nick lay staring blankly at the ceiling he thought deeply about his situation. He was in Brad's home to keep him safe. To make him feel secure comforted. But how could he do that just laying like a log on the sofa!? Sitting up he sighed deeply and turned his head upward to the TV and then left to the small distance to Brad's room. Rubbing his eyes he stood and went to the restroom which surprisingly was down the hall to the right of Brad's room. While Nick walked past he peeked in the half open door and caught a glimpse of Brad. *groan* “Why did it have to be him.” Nick questioned. In seconds, an irregular feminine laugh echoed around him. Startled Nick spun in all directions then lost his balance as a screech rung through his ears. Falling, Nick was knocked unconscious and lay still on the hallway floor.
Waking, Nick sat bolt upright and caused himself a huge headache. However he was not on the floor. He was back on the sofa, hands clenched on his quilt. It was one a.m. “This is insane” he said. Nick stood up and walked to Brad's room to check his companion. Who of course was still sleeping and so he figured if he… or anything else, had done any screaming Brad had slept through it.
The day went slowly for Nick and he just moped around the restaurant, cleaning dishes and serving people in a daze. Half the time he jumped at the sound of salt being spilt. Then paced Brad's apartment for what seemed like forever. Creating a routine. First he pushed past the kitchen door, and then made his way past the three large windows in the living room. Next he slowly passed between the sofa and television, rounded his way around the coffee table, came to the entry way and peeked through the narrow window beside the door and nearly tripped again and again as every time he reached the hardwood floor. Of course that’s not all. He would continue to the hallway passed Brad's room sigh go past and turn at the end of the hall. Then Nick would spin around and instead of go past Brad's room, he would go in and sneak a stiffened peek around the room and then out his window. Last but very not least he would head back to prepare food for Brad and himself until he next had the chance to make his rounds.
Finally Brad would get back late and eat supper. Nick of course having exhausted himself lied down on his spot on the sofa and fell asleep. Brad would quietly eat from the dining table and watch television. Brad packed up Nick's food and slipped it in the refrigerator. Brad would then go to bed early so as to get up early the next morning. For whatever reason he has. I mean, he has no job.
Now when you think about how Nick is acting, it’s as if he is the not housebroken version of Brad from a while back. But that’s the only help you’re going to hear from me.
End of chapter two.
Nick awoke in unawareness of where he was. He rubbed his eyes and sat up squinting in the dark room. Alas the only thing wrong was this, water. Yes he was in Brad's house but one thing wrong was that his foot was dangling from the sofa in about a foot of water. Nick stood and ran to the kitchen in light of what was going on. “Damn! A pipe must have broken.” He said in an only slightly hushed voice. He ran through the kitchen door and there was a rushing shower of spray flooding from the kitchen sink. Yet he did a double take of the situation because of a sound of flapping he heard. Giving it little mind he spun and ran to tell Brad.
In a moment he stopped and nearly fell to his knees when he saw a young girl standing in front of him, but she was only a faint flash until she disappeared and was then only a brief moment of insanity. So he ran to Brad's room. Then the door slammed shut and a force tugged at him. A screech sounded and spoke to him. “Don’t bother the boy let him leave this cursed place and rule for us. We are in need of his gift and he is destined to control the world.” Water now splashed from the hall and from the bathroom flooding to Brad's waist for he was now on his knees. Now desperate he ran to Brad's room. Finding that his door was locked shut. He felt the menacing pull of water under his feet rushing into Brad's room. “Brad! Brad! Wake up damn it!!!” He pressed his face against the door and listened for his friend’s voice. There was nothing. “Damn I can’t loose him. Not from my own insanity.” He spoke through gritted teeth.
Now desperate he ran to the bathroom. He would attempt to stop the water before it finished Brad. He started twisting and turning knobs he closed the door to lessen the flow to Brad's room. He pounded the walls and screamed. He…
“Nick” Brad called. Turning with little hope left Nick breathed to call out to Brad. Before he could though a fountain of spray came from the floor choking and stabbing him, and then a suction of water came from the floor and pulled him flat to his back. “Ahhhhh!!!!!!!” Nick cried through choked tears. Then came silence.
Nick woke wrapped in a towel and lying uncomfortably propped up on the sofa. Laughs sounded from the television, and a faint breath could be heard from beside him. So he reached behind him, and his hand came in contact with what could only have been Brad's jaw. Tempted confused and relieved Nick carefully turned and stared crookedly up at the handsome man, also wet and bare chested. His long dark glossy hair shone in the red evening glow telling him they had slept all day. Saturday evening, no work. With a sigh, a drop of water landed on Nick's forehead and startled him into a sitting position. Nick sighed in return smiling crookedly and turned to look at his loves face. The glass sphere of water ran down Brad's face shimmering like a tear. In fact within a stunning moment Nick saw that it really was a tear. And its twin followed along the same path its brother had made. Touched but hurt Nick brushed Brad's hair out of his face and leaned in nervously before kissing the tears from his face. Nick bounced back his pulse rapid and his heart jumping as Brad slowly turned to his side and laid exposing his shining chest. Nick blushed and looked down at the open spot in front of Brad, so inviting, so innocent. He took the unannounced challenge and laid there with his hands barely touching their tips to Brad's chest. Brad sighed and that was all Nick needed before he brought his hips close and his lips to brush against Brad's.
I started to become aware of my surroundings as soon as I had turned over on my side relaxed now that I could move myself from my self made prison. However now I could feel that I was not alone but being not in haunted sleep and or awake being haunted, I didn’t want to open my eyes. Then I could feel movement and breathing coming closer. I knew it was Nick now. I could smell his damp hair and it smelled just like vanilla pine. He laid next to me and I could smell his wavering sweet breath on my skin and face. I nearly jumped as I felt his warm hands on my cool skin. A jumping sigh escaped my lips as his touch relieved me of my stress and I relaxed quickly as his fingers moved like a kittens on my chest.
I laid there still not wanting to move or sleep. So as soon as a sleeping sigh came from Nick's mouth I wrapped my chilled arms around him to swallow his warmth.
My lids fluttered open and I saw that I had rolled slightly and was laying half on top of Nick so I moved by sitting up half way. However my right arm was pinned under him. I resorted to taking my remaining left arm and tucking it under his knees. I then hoisted him onto my lap and swung my feet to the floor. Next I lifted him into the air nearly falling forward because of his lightness. I warily stumbled to my room and gently plopped the feather on the left of the bed. I then walked to the right side and laid down under the covers and pulled Nick tight. That’s when I noticed how fast his heart was beating. He was warm, but I had only thought that was because I was so cold. So I jumped up and grabbed a cool cloth and a thermometer. I went to get some tea for him and myself but as I ran the water into the kettle it spurted out air first then ran warm. “Funny…” I thought out loud. But however weird it was I needed to get back to Nick.
I got back to the room and turned Nick on his back. I laid the cloth on his head and set the tea on the bed stand. I decided it was pointless to use the thermometer at this point so instead I laid him flat and pushed of the remaining bed covers he had on. Laying on a person I had heard could suck the excess heat out of a person and bring down a fever, so that’s what Ill try, I decided.
Eventually Nick's heart rate slowed and his heat was defiantly lowered I rolled exhausted and now warm off of him. I took his temperature and then ran to the sink to recool the washcloth for Nick's head. I sat on the bed with a bounce and plopped the cloth on his head with a small “thwap” and in a moment Nick's eyes opened.
“Oh mi god! Your awake!” I said like a mother. “What do you mean?” Nick asked. “Well where should I start, the shower or the sofa?” I said teasingly. “Uh… neither” He said in a mild, cringed voice.
Nick woke up in the morning next to Brad. Well rested he stood and walked around the bed to the window. The sun was shining softly into the room through the doily like curtain. his eyes sank as he remembered how he felt like… like a clown. Just then he hurried to the table and started to write on a napkin.
My pale face is stained and I miss the way your arms wrap around me.
Tears blue on my face, shimmer sad memories.
I'm no longer a king, but a clown, missing its crown.
Sad days are here. I miss you and cannot bear to leave you.
Stars fall from my face, and grant all but my wishes.
Fall toward me, for then I can be stronger to hold you.
Trust me and love me and let me bear your troubles.
For you to let me help you is all that I ask, and I will not regret.
If you are relieved I will be satisfied even if I lose you.
He stood and folded the napkin in his pocket and went out the door. He walked to the garden down the street and sat on a dew covered rise by the pond. He sat there for a long time and soon was drifting into a shallow dream as he sat there. A song was looping in his head. And the dream he was having was pleasant. He was walking along a meadow and was passing through the trees shade and peaks of sunlight shone through on his body. Then drops of rain came from the sky even though it was sunny and refreshed his warm flesh. Staring up into the blue sky he watched the rainbow colored drops of water patter down like it was crying happy memories. A tear of Nick's own rolled down his neck in response to his relief. Then wham! Nick was launched five feet from the ground by he whom snuck up and scared him. Well Nick darn near shrieked before he noticed the laugh behind him. Then before he could tell Brad how mean he was. There was nothing. Nick and Brad collapsed together on the grass and rolled in a bundle down the hill. Brad was laughing his a** off and saying “Damn that was funny! You flew! You flew!” Then Brad suddenly stopped and his face showed hurt and shame and worry. For on his friends face were glistening tears, and a stone cold body to match.
“Nick…” I said like a gasp and a sigh at the same time. I jumped to my knees. “Nick damn it are you okay?!” I shook Nick hard. I pushed him on his back and listened for his heart beat…he was breathing. I sat there and brushed back his hair and wiped away the tears. Contemplating whether to leave Nick, or stay with him. I shook my head and prayed silently. I set him on his back in my lap, and rested his head softly on my chest. Nick and I lay in the sun for hours. I slept and sometimes stared off into space as I stroked Nick's hair. Then as I was daydreaming I was sparked into life by a twitch in Nick's shoulder. First it was just one then a twitch and a groan, finally I got scared and picked Nick up and started to try caring him back to the house. (FYI, Its three blocks. Longer than it sounds in this situation.) Finally I got to the front door thinking the whole time, oh please be unlocked and prayed that I wouldn’t drop and kill him so close to my home. I’ve had enough hauntings already.
I got him in the house quickly, and dumped him on the bed in my room. Then I ran into the bathroom and turned on the faucet in the bathtub. I made the water cool and then ran back into the bedroom by Nick.
I hauled him into the bathroom and stripped him of his shirt. His pulse was more rapid now and I knew he defiantly needed to be cooled down. So I lifted him into the tub and sat down with Nick, both of us still in most of our now soaking clothes. I leaned forward as far as I could with him slumped in front of me, and turned on the shower nozzle. Cold water stung my skin, and made me wrinkle my brow. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was going to try and help him on my own.
My teeth chattered as I clung to Nick as he lay deep in the water. I prayed he would move or that he would shiver like me. “Enough,” I told myself. “If it hasn’t worked yet then I need to try something else. Maybe he needs to break a fever. I’ll dry him off and…sigh…” I frowned and then readjusted my grip on Nick. “Well ill figure out what to do later. Last minuet thinking is my best talent.” My teeth chattered as I laughed at my joke and then stood. It’s harder than it looks. And I fall to the floor with Nick in my arms. Nick lays slumped over the edge of the tub and I lay on my back with just my legs in the water. Then Nick moves and…. “Hell!!” there before me is not Nick, but Nick's body, heavy with water and stumbling. His eyes are pinched tight and his hands grasp his hair and he leans back and lets out a haggish shriek.
Adena Lynn Marie
As an official Author It is my pride joy and custom to talk to the readers every so often. To start, I hope you can give my series a chance. Because there are good themes (eventually) and romance, however life has many surprises and ups and downs so be…understanding. Please. Enjoy.
I woke to my screaming alarm clock so early in the morning that I swear it had to be yesterday. But I was sweaty and wet so I took an early shower.
Normally around three in the morning now one in the morning I would wake in a panic afraid of the darkness now not only in life’s eyes but in my dreams too. I was tired. Not only the physical but emotionally too. I mean could you sleep with things haunting your dreams? Of course not and you wouldn’t want to either. I mean, I go to bed really late every night after watching a bunch of old black and white movies but hell, what does that hurt. Well, then I trudge to my room alone in my house thinking “Maybe I’ll be able to sleep tonight.” But alas, No! I keep waking up earlier and earlier each day and never do the dreams stop! I’m at the end right now. And I just want a normal life. I’m cursed I tell you. Crows follow me since I was 18 and before that I was teased for my left eye being a milky gray. You know all this really hurts a guy and you’d think at one point it would stop. But it just, gets, worse.
Well I tripped onto the floor in nothing but a wet towel, and quickly shoved the pills from the floor into my aching mouth. I bent upward to slurp from my suspended old sink. Rust and paint and eyeliner galore on it. But I didn’t care. It was my home and my parents were….somewhere. Who knows.
I popped a few more pills and stood up. Somehow I would get today over with and have nothing in the world to look forward to. Again. Any way I jumped to it and ran my scrawny butt out of my lonely house and to the store.
Energy drinks coffee and cheese puffs. That is my diet this week. I think to myself. I make a robotic turn out of the store and stomp out onto the street. I decide to head to the restaurant my buddy Nick works at and yet I cant go anywhere alone. No, not in the least. Those stupid Crows follow me EV-ER-Y-WHERE!!!! That’s why I don’t go out that much. But I just ignore them, Most of the time. Like so….
I pulled my baseball cap down over my eyes and walked briskly past a staring Crow.
I told myself that nothing mattered right now, and that the whole world was insane except me. Some how that didn’t work because I found myself screaming at the top of my lungs for the stupid Crow's to scram. Sadly even with my awkward efforts only one Crow flew off. So I was left with a frustrated worn out look on my face, and one of disgust on the Crow's. Apparently they thought I was the insane one. And I probably proved it.
“What the hell was that.” Spat a customer into his coffee. *Sigh*
“Sadly I think it was my little friend waaaaay over there.” I said sarcastically.
“Interesting friend you got, heh, yelling at Crow's. Pathetic.”
Well that to Nick was just plain mean to say. After all that kid did make sense, to him…
God he had known Brad for years, since grade school. But now things had changed a bit. Well except for the fact that Brad was always the slacker and I the hard worker. But I guess I can’t blame him much even though he was spoiled as and only child, because so was I, and yet I remember his family being very rich. Me, not so much. But that’s beside the point.
There are a lot more bad things going on in Brad's life than just Crow's and such. Gosh, I just wish it would get better for him. One way that could happen is if he stays friends with me. I’ve really been there for him and soon, I hope that will be always. But I don’t want to get ahead in things. Right now I just need to be a good friend.
“Hey! Nick! More coffee over here, I'm getting cold again.”
“Okay, Mr. Roland, coming.” Thankfully I wanted to be miles away from anyone who dared to make fun of my friend. Thankfully Mr. Roland was not that guy.