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Zoe, Bushy Face, and I

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While I was sitting on the florescent orange shag carpet in the middle of my room, I turned my head toward the window. Outside, the sun was high in the sky and burning like a light bulb. The sky was a bright blue and a few puffy cotton candy clouds were floating along minding their own business. If they had faces I’m sure they would be smiling big toothy smiles.

The sky made me feel so chipper that I decided to called Zoë and see if she wanted to go outside for a walk with me in the pleasant sun. Zoë did not like the sun, but she compromised by bringing an umbrella. You see, Zoë is an ex-vampire. Ex-vampires do not suck blood because they get those icky fangs removed by the dentist. They also receive brain transplants. From what I remember hearing, they don’t change their personality. The only thing that changes is that their will to suck blood is removed and a carbon copy of their personality and habits are placed into the transplant brain. So nothing really changes except for the fact that you don’t have to worry about getting your neck bit every two minutes. That’s always a plus.

So she met me outside my door with her pink zebra striped umbrella and we went walking down the street. There was a little Mexican shop about ten minutes away and they sold the best popsicles in the whole entire world. However while we were making our way to the Mexican shop, a police car pulled up next to us.

A middle aged man with a round face and excessive facial hair came out of the car. I am not lying when I mean excessive. He had the goatee and handlebar mustache that somehow curled at ends even though it connected to his beard. There was a soul patch in the middle and to top it all off he had huge bushy sideburns. I swear a mouse could have made a home in that monstrosity of facial hair. How many hair follicles did he have and why were they so over active? Pituitary gland problems? No I don’t think so because he can’t still be suffering from the aftermath of puberty. Or maybe he can? All you need to know is that he was creepy.

So bushy face police man came out and started running after us. Obviously, we started running towards the Mexican shop so we could fight him off with a popsicle or a tortilla or something. Any bushy face police man would turn into a puddle if he was attacked with that.

Instead, I decided to telepathically phone the Ugly tribe that lived in the underground mini city under this street. They popped out of the ground like cute little daisies and threw rocks at bushy face police man, but these rocks explode on contact.

Zoë and I safely got to the Mexican shop. We walked outside while we were enjoying our amazing Mexican popsicles and saw bushy face police man lying on the ground twitching. The Ugly tribe’s people had started their victory ceremony so we decided to join in the fun.

I think the Ugly tribe’s people had a good time. There were lots of fireworks.





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