Blackness (How I Lost My Two Besties)

April 30, 2009
By , Ozone Park, NY
Tilly drove down the wet road at a dangerous speed. “Tills, what are you doing?” I asked quietly. It was silent in the car and all she did was speed up. “Tills! Slow Down!” Sabine yelled from the back seat!” Tilly just spead up. She began to talk in whispers. “I have nothing. My mother hates me. My father died. My sister is in jail. My friends think I am crazy for drinking to escape my problems. I am going to do what I want and what I need.” Just like that we hit a tree. We swerved off the slick road and into a tree. The sedan twisted around it like a pretzel. Tilly wanted to die, she wanted to kill herself! But she hadn’t drank at the party, Sabine did but she only had one beer. I was still thinking about this when I heard Tilly scream. “Why! Why! I could have killed you all with me!” She hit her head on the horn. We were fine, I called 911 and told them what happened. “Sabine?” I called to the backseat but she was gone. “Jess, are you okay?” Tilly asked. “Yea Tills, what were you thinking?” “I, I, I don’t know.” She shook her head. Then I heard Danica scream. “Ah! Tills! Reez! Sebe! Sebe is dead! She is not breathing!” The car feel silent all you could hear were the sounds of the sirens approaching from the distance. I dazed off and Tilly continued to sob. Danica was in the back silently looking at Sabine. I woke up with wires strapped to me and my mother leaning over my shoulder with Stephanie in toe.

“Oh baby, I am so glad you are okay!”

“Yea Reez I was worried.” I tried to pull myself up.

“What happened?”

“Tilly was driving and she swerved and went into a tree. Danica was cut up pretty bad and Tilly is fine.” She shook her head and looked like she was fighting back tears.

“And Sabine? How is she?” Mom broke down in sobs. Steph did the same crying but trying to hide it more then mom was. A nurse came in and took them out.
“What happened to Sabine?” I demanded. The nurse tapped my IV.

“Hi sweetie, I am Aly, I am your nurse, you got into an accident and got cut up pretty bad. You friend, the driver, she came out without a scrach. The other girl, the red head, she broke a leg and two ribs. Sabine, well she was hit with the most impact and well, she didn’t make it sweetie.”

“WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?” I demanded. And how ironic how Tilly wanted to kill herself but survived without a scratch and we didn’t.

“Sabine died. She was hurt bad and hit hard, her lungs collapsed, she didn’t survive. She was dead when the ambulence got there.” I screamed. And nurse Aly came over and rubbed m back.

“Sweetie its okay. Sabine died quick and mostly painless.” I continued to sob relentlessly even when mom and Steph came in and tried to calm me. Tilly never came in and the next day when I awoke I saw Jessica, Tilly’s mom sitting in the waiting room next to my mom crying. The nurse came in again. “Hey Maria, have some more upsetting news.” She sat down on the bed beside me. “Tilly Rosenthal killed herself last night. She slit her wrist.” I didn’t car because this didn’t shock me. I told nurse Aly to leave me alone for a while. When I was released from the hospital my life turned into a black hole. No meaning. I couldn’t make myself get up and be happy and smile. I tried for mom and Steph but I couldn’t me and Danica still hung out together often. Danica and I were inseperable. But we never got in a car or a bus, we walked everywhere and didn’t speak much. We always wore black. Our lives were meaningless as we slumped through the days. Then Danica meet Damon. I was left alone. She began to wear color and smile. She tried to help me out of the whole but couldn’t. That accident was the death of my soul. I walked into school one day and saw Tilly and Sabine standing at my locker arm in arm smiling and waiting for me. I stopped dead in my tracks. They were imagine of the girls but they weren’t complete they were somewhat faded. It occurred to me. They were ghosts. I began to them slowly pacing my steps as I walked down the crowed hallway to my locker.

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