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Defy History. Make it Herstory

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I heard a loud cough and grudgingly looked up from my book on unicorn taming. “What is it now?” I asked my father, the king, who was standing next to some long-legged guy. Uh oh... I thought.
“Erm...” said father, clearly embarrassed by my “warm” welcome. “Um... remember that challenge I sent out?” he finally said, trying to look cheerful.
“Challenge? Challenge to do what?” I said, trying to look thoroughly confused.
“You know!” he said, his face turning redder. “The one... the one with the ogre?”
“Oh yeah!” I said. “That ridiculously easy quest you were talking about... I mean, seriously... an ogre? How hard is it to kill them??? All you have to do is pretend you can eat more than they can!!!”
It was their turn to look confused. ...They had obviously not read many books. “Pigeon Legs”, the tall guy (I was now pretty sure who he was), just shuffled uncomfortably.
“Well, um... err... the challenge... the quest... to defeat that horrible town-destroying ogre... um... has... now been... fulfilled!” said father, finishing in triumph. “And here’s the lucky man!!!” he said, motioning to Pigeon Legs. “Prince Albert has defeated the terrifying ogre!” I noticed he glared at me when he said terrifying.
“Countless congrats, Prince Al,” I said, rolling my eyes, and getting back to my book. Apparently, father didn't take that as a hint to go away, as I wished he would before he said-
“And remember what his prize is supposed to be?” said father, hinting at something I didn't want to think about.
“Um... a pet pegasus? A trip to the edge of the earth?” I suggested, hopefully.
“No,” said my father, sighing deeply. “Your hand in marriage!”
“Oh, right, that... um... yeah... well, sorry, I’m going to have to refuse,” I said nervously.
“WHAT???” shrieked father. Prince Bert looked like he might throw up, he was so embarrassed. “What do you mean, NO??? You’re not allowed to say that!!!”
“Oh come on!!! Do you really expect me to marry Pigeon Legs?” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Don't call him that!” my father almost squealed. “You are disrespecting a very noble prince, from a very important kingdom! And you should feel lucky he has come to take you there!!!”
“Um yeah, if I'm going to go somewhere, I’d like to do it of my own free will.” I then got a bright idea. “You know what, I think I shall. There are probably a few dragons that could stand some slaying. Don't expect me for a few years,” I said, putting stuff into a bag.
“Wha- wh- where are you going?!?!?” said father.
“Not positive yet, but for all I know, it’s sure not gonna be here.”
“But you can’t!!! It just isn’t done!!!””
I rolled my eyes. “It’s high time we got past the ‘just isn’t done’s. I don't care about the stupid history books. As they say, ‘Well behaved princesses rarely make history’,” I said, grabbing my bag. I walked past my stuttering father, my would-be husband, and into my new life.





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