July 18, 2017
Her desire that she feels is getting so strong. She holds a piece of small paper now, that is a name card, content by the name that owned the card, the address, and the most important is the numbers that combined as one that known as phone number.

There, she still feels the deep bond in her heart. Although it just a bond as a Manager Editor that has the second great authority for his subordinates—the first is the Chief Editor, of course—, and she is one of them, the editor. And now the dark-haired American man that told about had been promoted.

Eric Dickinson

The Chief Editor of Fotiá New York Publishing House

The elder Dickinson deserves to get this, this position is very suit with his personality—at least, that was Louisa thought. As long as her experiences as his editor back then, Eric was a very great hard-worker man, he was so discipline and open-minded person when he was a Manager in Editor and Louisa wish that never changed.

Louisa and Eric know each other for some years in college. Eric was her senior in the club. She decided to join journalist club because she felt that her abilities and her interest at language can help her much than she join art club. They did some club activities; they did some research, they discussed about the newest event in New York for that time, they held seminar, and did anything for the club activities. But they not that close enough, perhaps Eric see her only as a common junior in the club, but it could be different for Louisa in her own sight.

Four years after Eric graduated from college, they met again in the company—Fotiá Publishing House— as a Manager in Editor and Louisa as an apprentice in editor division in her first year with the others fourteen apprentices in the same division. Eric was a very good person for this job. He headed the apprenticeship with three others as his assistant for each group that consist of five people. Then, after six months of the training, three person of her group were accepted as the permanent employee for the company, included her. So, Louisa Park came to the apartment quickly after her first day work as the employee had done and did the international phone call to South Korea.

As the employee of the editor division, she could to see Eric in the division room almost every day. He was a busy man of his position as the Manager in Editor there. That 183-cm-man commanded the entire employee, confirmed all of the tasks by himself, then reported them all to the Chief Editor –a person who had the major authority for the division— before the deadline. He was a hard worker man, a discipline person, open-minded, and polite person at that time and Louisa wish that never change.

So, the last thing that Louisa did after memorize them all is taking a deep breath. It has been several years for her. And she doesn’t believe to herself because she still remember all of the moments when she still work as the editor employee in the Fotiá Company back then.

Her right hand is moving uncertainly to the telephone in her office. But then, she surprised all of sudden because her own phone. Richard Clark—or Richard Park, her brother.


“Well, you should say, ‘annyeonghaseyo, oppa. Is there anything can I help you?’—yeah,”

She exhales her breath shortly. Her brown eyes that she got from her father still stares at the name card that placed on the table, near with the pen case. Her both eyes are brown, as brown as the leaves of casuarinas tree fell in the autumn. It makes heart warmed for everyone who sees it deeply, “What can I do for you, big brother?”

“Are you still in there? In the office?”

“Hm. I’m here, oppa.”

“Good,” there is a long pause for a moment. Louisa can hear her brother’s voice obscurely talks to someone in there. Her eyes rotate the office room in every angle while she is waiting Richard to continue, “Sorry.” She mumbles for response him. “So, I want to ask you to reschedule the meeting on 14th April to be replaced on 25th April. I have to accompany my wife to check her pregnancy up.”

Louisa’s eyebrow crinkled while she is looking at the screen of the tablet that she uses to work, “But you have to give lecture in the Kyunghee University on 25th April. You accepted it a week ago to be the speaker in their seminar.” She explained earnestly.

“God.” Her brother response it quickly, “You are right.” She leaned her back over the chair while Richard makes a long pause again—she is sure that her brother is thinking too hard now—, then she heard the sound Richard is coughing just like to clear his throat, “I have the solution for that.”

His young sister lifts his left eyebrow up, “What is it?”

“Perhaps you can take my place for the seminar?” His voice went down in the end of his sentence, sounds like he knows for the answer that Louisa will say for that.

“You exactly know my answer, oppa.” She straightened her back again, while her hands leaned on the table, “No matter what happened later, you have to do that by yourself for the seminar. They mentioned your name in the letter, they asked you, and you accepted it—so, yeah, you will do that, not even me.” She stressed every word that she said, to realize her brother to be responsible for his decision that he made. “Besides, I can replace you to take your wife to the hospital. And I can ask to Miss Juhyun to be there with you.”

Louisa heard her brother’s short breath. She carves a smile in her lip—, “Alright then,” –because she knows that she won the argument.

The Korean-England siblings are waiting for each other. Both of them didn’t say anything after their last argument. Louisa is waiting for her big brother to end the call, because he started it before. And Richard also waits for her to end the call.

“So, how was your flight?—” She started the conversation. “—and mother?” Louisa feels so worry actually. They just got an emergency call for nine hours ago in the earlier morning, exactly at 4 am. It was their uncle. Uncle Ed said that their mother’s condition was getting terrible for these weeks and the doctor suggest for doing the surgery immediately, because they haven’t any choice again and this surgery can’t be delayed anymore.

They remember the time when their mother griped about the pain that she felt in her back. Days later, Louisa took more her attention to her mother’s movement. Her mother dropped anything that she brought. The younger Park told it to her brother and Richard said that he also felt the same about it. Then, both of them decided to tell it their father. The head of Park family took a decision, he asked to his children to bring their mother to meet Mr. Kim—their family doctor.

Doctor Kim claimed it just anemic, but the illness was getting more terrible after weeks. When Louisa went to home after her lecture—she decided to take the master degree after three years worked at Fotiá Company—, she got her mother collapsed near the table in their kitchen. Louisa turned off the stove, and then walked near to her mother. Her mother loss many weight, she became frail days after days, she was so pale and look so weak.

It’s back bone marrow cancer. The doctor said that the muscle in the arm and legs were getting weak also and could be the causing of paralyzed. Their father called Uncle Ed and told the younger brother of his wife about this. Uncle Ed works at St. Mary’s Hospital in Paddington, London. He is a lung doctor there and knows a lot of doctors that works in the same hospital with him. He suggested them to take Emma to his hospital and would be hospitalizing there for the medical requirements. And it has been seven months until this day.

Louisa and Richard held their small discussion after the phone call. Richard told her that she would go there first, then she can go after him in the next day, but the only younger sister that he has didn’t listen him kindly. Louisa is very stubborn and the one who easily to get panic attack. Richard felt so grateful there was his wife with them. She talked to his sister and asked her to go the day after Richard. Either Richard or his wife knew that Louisa had something to do in her campus, something important that related for her graduation on June. So, Richard flight first to London after their discussion at 7 am. Richard also felt worried for both his wife and sister actually, but as long as they were together for each other, it doesn’t matter for him.

“It was fine. I was taking-off at 11 am and arrived in the hospital for an hour after. And about mom—“, He paused for a moment to take a deep breath. Seems like Richard through hard time during his way, “—the surgery just get started a while ago, around 12.30 o’clock.”

Louisa is biting her lips now. Both her eyebrows almost united as one. She is almost to cry now just for thinking about her mother. It makes her can’t breathe in the right way because she feels her dried in her throat for many reason. “So—“, She cry in silence. “—how’s there? Father and Uncle Ed?”

“Father just went to restroom now and uncle Ed, he has to go back for work and will be here after lunch.”

“Oppa, shall I—“

“—have you got your dinner, Lou?”

“Hm?” She stopped.

“It’s 9 pm in Seoul, isn’t it? It’s quite night now. Just go home and eat your dinner properly after you finish your work there. I called Seungwan a while ago. She has finished cooking for the dinner for both of you. She is waiting for you home now.” Louisa cries a lot and nodding while she heard her older brother worrying about him. “Don’t push yourself. You also need to look after your health, Lou. We here are worrying about you too.”

“Hm!” Once, Louisa nodded for response her brother. “I got it.” She took a deep breath for relieving her feeling. Her feeling is getting relieve and warm in the same time because of her brother’s words. Louisa can’t stand like a kid anymore. She is 26 years old and need to handle her attitude as her ages now. “I got it, oppa. I will go home now and eat Seungwan eonni’s cooking for the dinner.”

Across to the connection, Richard carves his smiles for that. “Good. Give my greeting and thanks for Seungwan for taking care of my little sister. Sleep properly because you both will go here at earlier morning tomorrow. I’ll hang up the phone now. Good night.”

“Hm. Good night, oppa.” She faces her phone after the international call was ended. Richard was right. It’s quite night for still standing in the office.

Louisa checks the notification on his phone. There are a lot of message that sent from the same person since an hour ago. Seungwan must be worrying her because she late for home without saying a word to her.

I’m going home now. Sorry for making you worry, eonni.

Louisa straightened her back then leaned to the chair. Her brown eyes are looking at the ceiling of her office now. For a moment, again, she feels so grateful for having them. Richard is her older brother who will always be next to her, a brother who always knows her feeling without telling it to him. And it became completely well after her brother married Seungwan. She is her only sister and they close each other after all. Just like her relationship with Richard, Seungwan also always be next to her. And now, this couple will have their child in three months from now. Their family will be so full of delighted things later.

She goes straight to his handbag and takes some important attachments with her. She plans to finish it at home, or at least she can bring some of it tomorrow. Richard has to see these reports anyway. Her brown eyes sight at an item that almost ignored by her a while ago. She took that with her and put it into her wallet. It seems that she still can’t make a call with the person who owned the name card since two months she got it from her old friend,

—at least, not with this circumstance.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

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