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The sun sinks slowly below the treetops, beneath the horizon. As it enters another world, day gives in to night, with twilight in between. Everything has a mysterious aura. While filling my lungs with the cool evening air, I believe anything is possible. The sky is a thousand shades of blue and violet, tinged with pink and orange. I even think I see a little green. For a few moments, everything is magical. Fairies exist. So does true love. A knight in shining armor is waiting for me around the corner on his beautiful white horse. He is begging me to hurry. He wants desperately to sweep me off of my feet. But I ignore him, because I know that in a few seconds he will disappear, and I cannot go with him.
Wind whistles through the leaves, knocking a few loose. I shiver. Stars are beginning to glisten. Should I make a wish? I don't know what to wish for.
Now the sun is gone, but its light lingers, illuminating the world for just a bit longer. The knight, too, is gone. Most likely, he is romancing some other girl in Fairyland. What do I care? He's flaky like that.
Suddenly, I think I feel tears coming on, and they have absolutely nothing to do with Mr. Knight. I don't give myself time to consider the meaning of their onset, though I have a suspicion.
I never allow myself to cry. I must divert my thoughts before it's too late.
The magic is gone now, vanished with any traces of the sun. The moon is neither new nor full. It is somewhere in between, malformed and ugly. It's funny how something that is really solid and static appears to change every night, sometimes disappearing completely. Someday, it may really disappear. Who would notice, at first? Would anyone care? Would anyone believe it's really gone? People believe what they want to. Whatever makes life more bearable.
A tear slips out. It burns me.
The park closes at sundown. I am the only soul here. I will my knight in shining armor to come back, but he doesn't. He won't be back.
The wind breezes through again, taking a few more leaves and a discarded candy wrapper with it. A soda can clatters in the parking lot. I wish I had a jacket.
Another. My face is on fire.
The only thing to do is bottle it up. I stretch out on the park bench. True love is a fairytale, and yet some people find it. No matter how many times I tell myself I am foolish for believing in it, I still cling to hope. It will be my downfall.
You're still young, they say. There are plenty of fish in the sea. If you can't catch one, move on. Give things time. And I have been. I was perfectly content with my nonexistent love life ' until I met him. Chemistry, they say. An instant reaction. But it just had to be him. The one boy who will never love me, no matter what. The fact that he cares about me at all, if only a little bit, only makes it more unbearable. He'll never know what he does to me when he smiles at me.
Give things time. What if I don't want to wait? Move on. What if I don't want to move on?
I am hopeless, I am hopeful. I am restless, I am patient. I am so far beyond confused. Am I in love?
I am sore. I relocate to my car. The mirror tells me things I don't want to know. I wipe my face off and try to subdue the tears I feel coming on once more. Time to go home, anyway. People believe what they want to. I believe what I want to.
The stars glisten. Should I make a wish? I think I know what to wish for.
So I wish.