The monster, that’s what he is. You probably think I’m talking of the mythical creatures. You know the ones that eat you or attack you? No, not those, these are the ones that stay hidden until you delve deep enough to find their true colors. They hurt you verbally not physically. On the outside they’re beautiful but ugly deep inside. At least that’s what I think he is. But let’s start from the beginning for you to understand.
I’m not the girl who thought she would fall in love. I thought love was overrated, not possible or logical. But it happened, that first day of school.
‘Come on Joanna’ I kept thinking to myself. “You can do it” I whisper to myself. It’s never easy being the new kid. The awkward blank stares, hushed whispers as you walk down the halls. I wasn’t ready for that. So I kept repeating it over and over in my head ‘Come on Joanna, you can do it’.
“JOANNA” screams my cousin taking me away from my thoughts.
“Are you even listening to me? I’m trying to show you where to go”.
“I’m sorry. I was just thinking” I say shyly. Erica’s my cousin; she’s a senior at our school.
“It’s ok. I wish we could have classes together. But that’s not the point, go on to class I’ll see you on the bus later ok?” she asked eyes wide with worry. So I told her I would be ok with a nod. After she walked off I looked down on the paper that I was clutching like it was my life source. It said I have math first. If only I had listen to Erica when she was explaining where it was. Then suddenly the bell rings, leaving me all alone in the hallway. It cleared out so quickly like the old western movies when someone was going to have a draw at noon. Well I’m never going to find this class just standing here thinking about old western movies. As I start walking I am knocked over by someone who I didn’t see. I am getting up ready to argue with whoever this is.
“Can you not see where you are going?” says a deep voice angrily.
“I believe it was you who knocked into me you jerk” I retort back as I brush myself off. “I think it is you who needs to….” I stop midsentence once I glance up to look at this boy standing in front of me. This tall broad shouldered guy peering down at me. His clear blue eyes scoping my whole body out while I do the same to his. His beautiful face scarred by the frown upon it. Wow I need to compose myself so I look down. “I’ll watch where I’m going next time”
“No, my bad. As you said, I knocked into you.” I bring my face up to look at him. He is looking at me in wonder. “I’m Eli” he says stretching out his hand towards me.
“I’m Joanna” I say taking his outstretched hand. When I take it there is a sudden rush I feel. I look at him I think he feels the same. What could this be? The feeling I’m getting in my stomach, my heart racing, and the electric feeling I got when our hands met. Ignoring it I take my hand back and everything stills.
“Your new here aren’t you?”
“How could you tell?” I say almost laughing. He studies me for a moment.
“Well for one the bell rang and you’re still in the hallway. Second I’ve never seen you before.” He says looking at me. “Trust me, I would remember those” he says as he points to my eyes.
“Why do you say that?” then I think my birthmark in my eyes. One eye is half blue and the other half is a hazel color. Usually I wear contacts so no one could see it. They usually freak people out.
“Oh yeah I almost forgot about that. I usually put a contact in so no one could see.” I say shyly. I wish I did now.
“Why I think it’s beautiful” I think he can sense how awkward I feel so he changes the subject. “How about I walk you to class so you’re not late? Repayment of me being a jerk?” he says. He almost looks hopeful that I would say yes.
“Sure” he smiles so big that I can’t help but smile too. A boy never takes this much interest me, and it’s almost weird. He takes my hand and there’s that feeling again.
“So what class do you have?” he looks at me smiling. I hand him the paper. He takes it in his other hand so he doesn’t have to let go of mine. “Okay we are going to IMP 4.” And he hands me back the paper.
“Thank you” I go to open the door but he keeps a hold of my hands. I look at him. He still has that face of wonder on.
“Promise you will let me walk you to class again?” his blue eyes wide as he waits for my answer. Oh no, that feeling again and my heart. So I look him in the eyes and I say yes, and that’s where it started.
So then for months Eli comes to get me from my house to take me to school in his blue GT Mustang. He walks me to class and when class is over walks to my next one. We always eat lunch together or he will go buy it for us. This was perfect. I thought all the weird stares were out of jealousy. That when teachers asked why I hung out with him was because we looked so different. Even Erica questioned me about it. But I would soon learn why.
On October 31st he asked me out while we took our siblings out trick or treating. Of course I said yes I thought we were in love.
But then it changed. The sweet loving Eli I knew wasn’t so sweet and loving any more. If I messed up he would tell me how much of an idiot I was or if I wanted to ask him to do something for me asked me why I was so lazy and couldn’t do it for myself. I constantly kept asking myself what I’m doing wrong. Did he not want me anymore? So I started doing things differently. I wore my hair different, bought different clothes and I even started wearing makeup. He just told me I looked like worse than usual. After that I went home that day and cried.
You’re probably asking why I would deal with this. But I didn't know the answer myself. So I talked it over with Erica.
"You need to end it with him. It's not going anywhere."  She’s right and I know it but I don’t want to believe it. But I have to do it. So I’m going to do it.
“What do you mean it’s over” he screams. “You can’t end this, I love you.” Tears well up in my eyes because I want to believe him so much, it doesn’t matter though.
“You don’t hurt people you love, so I have to end it. You can have one thing though. You had me fooled.” I say and I turn and walk away before I changed my mind.
“I don’t need you anyway!” he calls after me. I know because you’re a monster. At least I think you are.