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DiFfErEnT wOrLdS part 2
I was staring at her.
I guess she knew & looked up, but nor did she smile with the flash of her teeth; with the delicate corners of her mouth or make a disgusted face at me.
She stared back for only half a minute with unmoving features. I didn't know if it was such a horribe or great thing that she didn't show emotion. But I could tell you that half-minute felt like five times the length and that every second of it I was not breathing.
After that Al didn't stare back at me, she continued to read the book that Mrs. Felenkci handed to us; she read each page with the same rythm she had read the others, with her pointer finger and thumb she turned the page to reaveal more of the adventure the book contained.
And I don't know what made it so fascinating that she was doing this. Through another's eyes she would just have appreared as a girl with a book in hand.
But to me it was fansinating becuase it was her and not someone else.
I was reading THE FALT IN OUR STARS.
I was reaching the books end, Augustus had died already because of the cancer that ran through his body & I was amazed how the author continued to use his little sweps of humor here and there and managed to still make it feel..right.
Augustus lost his battle with cancer, but he left Hazel behind. So what happens to the final chapter to the book he was supposed to write.
Hazel had said that the fault was in our selves not in the stars. Was she right?
She said that everyone will die & that names like Cleopatra & de vinche will be never repeated, like they never existed.
Everthing we ever built, made, wrote, and said will be forgotten. And the thoughts that we had spoken aloud would have flown into the air and carried into dark depths, unknown.
So why bother to be someone.
And that her cancer was just a side affect of dieing.
Becuase we are dieing every second. Are days are counted, I kept thinking.
Was she right.
Was there fault in me.
The old Maroon 5 song played in the background.
The lead singer sang.
I DON'T MIND SPENDING EVERYDAY OUT IN THE POURING RAIN LOOK FOR THE GIRL WITH THE BROKEN SMILE ASK HER IS SHE WANTES TO STAY A WHILE...
My lips forms the words, but no sound came out.
My eyes grew tired and I soon gound that it was difficult to blink anymore.
I did not open my eyes.
I got drawn into another dream of someone who pierced a whole in my heart with a sharp, gleaming knife, but this time...
The shooter was John
My dad had once said, "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice."
The sound of the trains horn blew in the distance and I sat on the filthy ground to wait and watch it pass.
I replayed the last incounter in my head.
"Stop smoking," dad yelled out to me in the distance.
I dropped the cigarette and it descended onto the granite rocks.
From the plastic bag on the ground, I reached in and got a beer out, opended it and toke a long sip never removing my eyes from him.
He came closer, disapproving my actions with his eyes.
"Great. Just great," he said, looking aggravated at the beer in my hand. "I came to give you some sense, but I see your not even going to consider.
"At least your right about something, " my voice raged in poisonous sarcasm.
He gave me a sharp look and said, "I don't ask for you to apologize to me, but to your mother. You must stop this nonsense. There is no good in your actions and-."
I cut him off with more verbal poison.
"I don't care, I don't. And who am I going to apologize to, a freaking grave. Mom is dead."
His eye twitched, but he showed no other signs of pain. "She's watching you from the skies," he said, his eyes drifting upward.
His eyes were old; crows feet at the corners, eyelids saged, and green eyes losing their color.
I rolled my eyes.
He came closer, laid a hand on my shoulder. I tried to shake him off but his grip only got tighter. I stood up, only three inches taller than him. I looked him straight in the eyes. I felt like flames were burning my cheeks and my pulse started to advanse; adrenaline filled in the cells that made up my blood.
"She got what she deserved."
A growl ripped from his chest and his fist came into contact with my skin, hard. I flew back and stood up quickly, astonished at my father's strength. His eyes were crazy and a shade darker; they were calling business.
I braced forward wanting nothing more to return the punch. I pointed my fist toward his eye hoping to cause great damage but he dodged it easily and hit my jaw.
I withdrew a couple of steps and lounged forward again. I hit him square on the temple and it sended him onto the train tracks.
Then, I could only watch with wide eyes as the train went over my father's body shattering every bone out of place, his piercing screams wounded my ears and I drowned in regret, my lunges breaking, I counldn't breathe or move. I froze.
When the train passed, I approached the tracks.
There was no body. Everything had vanished.
Only a small note was left with a small drop of blood lingering on the corner.
I knelt down and picked it up, my knees felt weak.
I opened the note, my fingers trembled.I felt cold shadows swirl around me.
In small print the words read. The shadows closed around my neck, they were chocking me.
I love you.
My heart turned to ice and I broke inside.
Now in the present.
The trains slid on the rusty tracks past me, a memory of sarrow.
My dads screams played in my head over and over.
Where had he gone?
Was he dead?
I cant believe I'm spying him.
Why am I spying on him?
Questions revolted around in my head and feelings changed from second to second. If I had a mood rock in my palm right now, it would surely shatter.
I was shattering.
But there he was looking out at nothing but dry grass and in the distance you could see steep triangles that looked like mountains. Taking out my cel-phone to take a picture of the moutains. I would paint them later. I taped the button and a noise was let loose into the wind. I turned side to side quickly looking for a place to hide. There was nothing.
I turned forward and their he was.
John turned to look at me, suprise very evident on his face.
Time to hit the stage.
I plastered a smirk on my face.
He turned around quickly, he rubbed something off his cheek.
It was crysal clear, liquid. Perhaps a tear?
What was wrong with this boy?
I rubbed the tears of my face quickly, I couldn't let her see me like this.
She came closer and sat down beside me, warmth came off her; hot sparks flew onto my skin.
My skin flushed, hopefully she hadn't seen the tears.
"Hey," she said in her song voice.
"Hey," I said back. "What are you doing here?"
She looked past me.
"Looking for sentimental guys who cry at the site of ungly, dry-yellow grass." A smirk formed on her face.
So she had seen, but I played along, "Then you have come to the right place. "
She laughed and I felt warm. Her laugh was a beautiful sound and in a second they downed the screaming in my head.
Then she shuddered. He shoulder came in contact with mine. Warmth swept up my shoulder to my neck, my skin flushed beet red.
Her teeth started to chatter and I toke of my jacket immediately.
"No it's okay," she said holding her hand out.
But I put it around her anyways.
She shrugged it off, " You can't always save me."
She turned away from me and got up, I could hear her teeth chatter and I had the impulse to put it around her again, I almost twitched in internal pain.
I could hear her feet on the rocks and the sound declined as she went away.
I felt cold again.