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“Oh, s-s-sorry,” I managed to stammer out.
What was with me today? Although if I am being honest, I’ve been this way ever since school started. Especially every time I see him. According to him a summer fling was all it was. It was just a way to pass time. To me, it was more. I still think we meant more to him then he is letting on. After all he did tell me that he loved me the last day of summer.
“I-I didn’t watch where I was going.”
Well, sort of. I saw him standing there, and my mind went back. Back to summer. I was too busy thinking about the summer sun, that day on the beach, how he stood in line for 20 whole minutes just to get my favorite ice cream... I didn’t notice I was walking right into him, until I felt his hand on my arm.
“-k you Sara?”
There I go again. Stuck in the past. I didn’t even hear what he said, but he was looking at me expectantly, so I guess he asked me a question. He was staring at me very intently with those amazing amber colored eyes. Oh, how I loved looking into those eyes. Who am I kidding I still love looking into those eyes.
“I-uh sorry, I didn’t hear what you said.”
He laughed a little at that. In fact, it looked like his entire face lit up. That couldn’t be though, I must be imagining things. I mean I was just a summer fling to him. Absolutely nothing more. Right?
“Can I talk to you?”
“Technically you already are, but ya.”
Ugh, why did I have to be such a smart-aleck. At least Jason didn’t seem to mind. He gave me a big smile, and started walking off, waving for me to come. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to to talk about, so I was hesitant at first. But my curiosity won out. So I followed him out to the abandoned stage.
Jason spent a lot of time on that stage, since he was in to the musical arts, he probably felt right at home. I on the other hand, was a nerves wreck. What would a guy who told me he loved me one day, and didn’t even waste a second glance on me the next, want?
Why here, of all places? This is where we had our first kiss. On the very stage he is standing on now. It was the middle of June when it happened. His father works for the school district, so Jason had access to the keys to get in the building. I remember that I dared him to sneak us in there. After he did we went straight to the stage. We probably talked for a couple hours, and then as we were getting ready to leave, he kissed me. That was the past, and sadly this is the present.
As soon as got up to the stage Jason turned to me. “What happened Sara? You know, between us.”
I was speechless. How was I suppose to answer that. You started ignoring me as soon as school started didn’t seem like an adequate answer. Just the fact that he was even here with me now made me question myself. Was he the only one ignoring the other? After all It’s not like I hadn’t seen him looking my way a lot more than last year. Was it posable that he thought I was the one who gave up on us? Was I? No, but maybe this thing had been a whole big misunderstanding.
I didn’t even say “I love you too” when he told me. I was going to. It was just so overwhelming, then his friends came up and dragged him away. The next time I saw him was in the middle of pre-calc, and I did not what to shout it out for the entire class to hear. Plus he wouldn’t even look at me. I tried to tell him a few more times after that, but then, I guess, maybe I did give up. There just wasn’t a good time to tell him. Maybe I should have just confronted him, no matter who was around to hear.
“-I told you my true feelings, then you stop talking to me. Why?” Jason said angrily, but also a bit desperately. Like I was all he thought about, and he wondered if I thought about him too. Could that be true? Did he think about me?
“Excuse me, but who exactly was ignoring who.” It wasn’t a question, it was a fact. He was most definitely the one ignoring me first.
“You know what never mind.” He didn’t say it so much angrily, more dejectedly.
“Jason wait,” I left things hanging once, and I am not about to make the same mistake twice.
“I-I-I love you too”