20 Days till Heaven

November 12, 2012
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20 Days till Heaven

It was November when I found out that I was diagnosed with cancer. My whole world ended that Tuesday. I was twenty-two years old and still had a whole lifetime ahead of me. My mom and dad were completely shocked and couldn't handle the pain. They acted so different around me. They knew that I wasn't going to be around for much longer, but the sad part was I knew the same thing. I knew I was going to die, never be able to raise a family, or have a husband that loved me. I knew my life was ending and their was nothing I could do about it.

After all the treatments, almost a year passed and the doctors told me I had twenty days left to live, a month at the most. I knew that my time was coming soon. I tried so many treatments and was on so much medication. It was only making me sicker and I didn't want to die in the hospital. This was the last month I had, I wanted it to be special, to mean something to me. I wanted to leave the world happy and have no regrets.

When I first found out that I had cancer I made a bucket list of all the things I wanted to do before I died. A lot were the usual like sky diving and going to your favorite country but they meant a lot to me and I knew that's what I had to do. I wrote down all of my favorite places I wanted to see such as London, California, New York City, Paris, and of course Italy. I wanted to try all of the different foods, go shopping, and buy all of the expensive designer clothes. I wanted to visit all of the art museums, go to the historical landmarks, and see the fashion shows I knew Paris had to offer. These things might sounds strange to you but I had spent month’s upset over the fact I would be dying soon and I couldn't take it anymore.

I bought a plane ticket to Paris, France. My first stop. I was excited and scared all at the same time. I just wanted to be happy the last month of my life. I wanted to forget that I was dying. The plane landed at two A.M. in the morning and I was exhausted! When you have cancer or any type of sickness you get run down extremely quick. I checked in my hotel called Lutetia. It was beautiful and everything I expected. I took french in high school and remembered bits and pieces, which came in handy, a lot.

The next morning room service came in and brought me breakfast. I finally got out of bed and got dressed. I wore jeans, a t-shirt, combat boots, and wore my hair wavy and down. I put on some blush, lip-gloss, and mascara. I bought tickets to the fashion show for tomorrow night and couldn't wait. Today I was going to look around, visit all the stores, go to the Eiffel Tower, and eat dinner out. So far I was having a fun time in Paris and was forgetting about everything bad in my life.

The next day I went to the fashion show and wore my best outfit. It was a black skintight dress with sheer on the back. My heels were black and had silver studs on top. Since I was a little kid I wanted to be a model; I had long, skinny legs, was 5'8 and had blonde hair. The show was everything I had been expecting. They had beautiful couture outfits I've only dreamed of. The next morning I hopped on the plane and my destination was London.

London was completely different from Paris; I could actually understand what they were saying here. It was a big and beautiful city, I got my luggage from the airport and hopped in the taxi. The taxi man took me to a hotel where I rented the room for a week and a half. I stayed in London for much longer than Paris because I've always longed to go there as a kid.

It was 6 in the evening and I was starving I decided not to go to a fancy restaurant but instead a causal diner. The weather here was colder than Paris and I put on a sweater over my t-shirt. I wore jeggings and boots with my favorite cheetah gloves that had studs on the top.
"Hi" I said to the waiter.
"Hello darling, how many I help you?"
"Um, I'll take the shrimp pasta dish".
"Okay, will that be all?"
"Yes please, oh and a root beer!"
It was 8 when I got back to the hotel. I wandered around for a bit and took in the chilled air. I opened the door to my room, locked it, and ran to the bed. I jumped on to the top of it with my back flying threw the air, I felt like I was ten again.

The next morning I woke up super excited. I have a full day ahead of me I thought. There's plenty to do! I jumped out of bed put on jeggings, boots, a Pink Floyd t-shirt, and threw my hair into a pony. I grabbed my diary and put in into my purse, locked the door and walked to Starbucks. I ordered a caramel frappe and banana nut bread, my favorite. I sat down close to the window and started to write in my diary.

Dear diary,

Well I've had cancer for a year and a couple months now. I've decided that I want to leave all of the sickness behind and be happy my last few weeks left. I went to Paris for two days and visited the Eiffel Tower, then the fashion shows, and the lovely shops and stores.

Right now I am in London, my favorite place in the world! I'm going to be here for a week and a half. Today is my first day here and I've started it off with Starbucks coffee and banana nut bread...

As they called my name I spotted him.
Harry Styles.
The band member of One Direction, the guy I've been in love with since I was thirteen.

As I walked up he spotted me and smirked. I could feel myself blushing. I grabbed my coffee and bread and walked back to my table and chair. Surprisingly no one really noticed him. There were no screaming girls or people asking for pictures and autographs. He had just been a regular guy.

He sat inside the Starbucks until I left. I walked to the door and he came up next to me and opened it.
"Hi lovely".
Smiling I responded, "hey."

Hey? Hey! Was that all I could think of?! You just met the love of your life. The guy you have dreamed about marrying since you were thirteen and hey was the only thing you could think of.
"How are you?" He asked smiling.
Walking out the Starbucks I replied, "Good just visiting your lovely city".
"I noticed in your voice you were American".

As we started walking and talking things felt normal. But how could things feel normal when I was talking to Harry Styles. It was literally like love at first sight. We walked in the park and talked about things like his time in the band, my time in the U.S., why I was visiting, and fun places to go and things to do.
Of course I didn't tell him that I had cancer that would only ruin what little we had between us. He would feel sorry for me and treat me like I wasn't a real person. I didn't want that. I couldn't continue on with him thinking of me as a charity case.

After a while it was getting late. Four o' clock had rolled around without us noticing. I told him I had a nice time talking with him and hopefully I would see him around, which I knew was never going to happen.
"It was nice meeting you, Harry Styles". I said cockily.
"You too Kate, but wait do you have a number or something?"
"Ya, here ya go".

Putting in my number I could feel him looking at me. Taking in every part of my face, my imperfections, my lips, my checks, my nose, everything. I asked my self how could I be meeting the person I've dreamt about my whole life. This was fate. This was destiny.

The next day I went on tours all over London. I enjoyed everything. I went into art museums, stores, and ate at the popular restaurants. On my way back to the hotel, I looked at my phone and I noticed two texts.
Hey sweetie, it's mom and dad checking up on you. Hope everything's okay. Enjoy yourself!!! Call me tonight. Xoxo mom and dad:)
Hey Kate, it's Harry. I know it's late but maybe we could go out for dinner and a movie tonight....

I texted him back right away saying yes and asking him where we should meet. We went out for a casual dinner and then saw a movie. It was a romantic comedy that we both enjoyed. This felt normal, like I've known him for a lifetime. He was so funny and always made me laugh.

Days went by and it was time for me to leave. I told him I was only staying for a week and a couple days. He continuously asked me not to leave but I told him I had already made plans to go other cities. He seemed so sad which I didn't understand why.
Could he be falling for me? I know that if I really believed that, I was only playing myself. I had to realize this was the famous Harry Styles. He could have anyone in the world, why would he want me?

The day came. I packed all of my bags and rode a taxi to the airport. I was boarding the plane when I heard a familiar voice.
"Kate, wait!"

I turned around to see him, Harry. I felt like I was in a movie, you know when the boy comes for the girl and she leaves with him. Well that's exactly what happened. He came for me and I left with him. He told me all the reasons why I should stay and that he had feelings for me. I was surprised I stayed. I didn't want to lead him on thinking I was perfectly fine, perfectly healthy. I had cancer. I was going to die. It hurt me because I didn't want to tell him, I didn't want him to know. I loved him and he loved me and that was all that mattered. We took a taxi back to his place and I had fallen asleep in the car.


It was late and we had just arrived to my flat. She was sleeping. Before I carried her up to my room I looked at her. Took in everything about her. How could I feel so much for someone I just met a week ago? All I knew was that I loved her and never wanted her to leave me. I carried her upstairs and tucked her into my bed. Lying there she looked like an angel. I went back to the taxi to grab her luggage and I grabbed her purse. It had fallen out of my hand and that's when I saw it, her diary was wide open. I knew I wasn't suppose to but I did it anyway. I grabbed it and read the page it landed on.

Dear diary,

Today was the absolute worst day of my entire life. I knew I haven't been feeling good lately so I decided to go to the doctors. They took some tests and thought I just had a case of the flu or a common virus. They were wrong. It was more than the flu. It was cancer. Cancer. How could this be happening to me?!?! I still have a whole life to live, things to do, and someone to love!.........

It all clicked now. Kate visiting different cities was her way of living before she died. I love her, I thought. I don't want her to die or leave me or be sick. Cancer?! How could this be happening? The one girl that loves me for me has to die, has to be sick. I knew what I had to do.

I haven't talked to him, my dad, in over three years. Why would he want to help me now? My dad is a cancer specialist and has been saving people's lives for twenty-one years now. That's what drew us apart. He was always at work and never had time for my sister or me. I knew he had a job just like any normal father does but he never spent time with me. No father-son time.
"Harry, is that you?"
"Ya, I know it's been a while...."
"How are you? We haven't talked in forever!"
"Ya, I know. I've been pretty busy lately."
"What's going on? You sound chocked up."
"We'll there's this girl. I've never felt this way about anyone else in my entire life. I begged her to stay here in London with me. She was supposed to leave today but I love her so much I begged her not too. I was getting her luggage out the car and her diary fell out. I read a page and it said she has cancer".
"Son, cancer is tricky. I'm a doctor, I can try to help but don't get your hopes up, sometimes the ending isn't good".
"Dad I know. I've only known her for a week and a half but I know I love her! Please if you think you can help..."

The next morning she woke up and I had tea made for her. I asked her if we could talk and of course she agreed.
"Promise not to be ticked".
"Ya, what happened?"
"Well last night I went back to the car to get your bags and your diary fell out. I wasn't snooping of anything but it was wide open and I read a page".
"Harry! Why would you do that? That's my personal information!" I felt like I was going to cry. He knew everything now. Everything was ruined. From the beginning things were ruined. I met him, I loved him, he loved me, but I was dying. We shouldn't have gone out. I shouldn't have fallen for him.
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have read it. Please forgive me".
"It's okay. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel bad for me".
"We'll I have a dad and he deals with stuff like this. I'm not making any promises but he's pretty smart. Maybe he could fix this, I know it's a long shot but we could try".

That night we took a taxi and rode to my dads house four hours away. We talked and caught up on life. I missed him and I could tell he missed me to. He apologized for not being there for my sister and me when we were younger and I told him that was old news and it didn't matter anymore. I let all of the pain and bitterness go that night.

The next day we went to the hospital and took tests, a bunch of tests! We looked at all of the possibilities. My dad knew exactly what to do. Kate had pancreas cancer. In the states they didn't have a cure for her but here they did. Kate belonged here. It was fate that we met. Destiny made this possible. Destiny made us possible.

Six Years later
"Mommy, Daddy!!!!!"
"Yes baby?"
"Can we go for a walk?"
"Sure! Come on Julie, Kate can you grab her sweater?"


Well this is my story. I met him, the love of my life. I believe in fate. I believe in love at first sight, and I believe in happy endings.

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