Broken

September 5, 2012
By , Franklin, TN
Boy,

We didn't even know each other that well. Just a glance across the room. A meek smile. A line exchanged here and there. Nothing much. I liked being around you, though, and with reason; you were a nice guy. Very sweet and pleasant. Your presence alone made my day a little brighter.

And before I realized what was happening, those glances started to give my stomach butterflies. Whenever you talked, I couldn't help but smile a bit. Just like that, somehow, something began to grow in the back of my mind. Even from a distance, I was falling for you. But I knew all too well just how stupid and unrealistic I was being. You probably didn’t even know my name. So I swept everything under a rug and moved on.

But then, one day, we started to actually talk with one another. We had nothing better to do. And that day made me realize how different you are. You are smart, and funny. Kind. Gentle. Not a lot of guys are like that around me. Something about the two of us just seemed to fit so perfectly together. The way that we could spend hours chatting about absolutely nothing, and then spend the next moment spilling out some of our deepest secrets to each other... that just doesn’t happen.

I don’t know her, but I can see why she likes you. I’m happy for you, I really am. I guess she just fits with you, too, and that’s okay. I won’t interfere, so don’t you worry about that. I’ll just sweep everything under a rug again.

Except this time, I can’t. I’ve tried and tried, but it won’t go away. Everything’s so messed up, spiraling out of control. Even though I know I have to, I just can’t move on. Not this time. I'm broken.

As much as I hate to, I’ll have to distance myself from you – for your sake. You can forget about me and be happy with her. As much as it breaks my heart, I’ll have to stop this fruitless dreaming. That way, I won’t get my hopes up over nothing. Only then will I be able to mend myself. But it’s so hard, doing all of that when all I want is to be closer to you. To mean something to you. So I only ask for one thing from you, just one thing for me.

Please, just stop being different. Stop being smart, and funny. Stop being kind. Stop being gentle. Just stop being you. Because I love you. Even with a broken heart, I love you so much.

And I can’t stand it anymore.

Only Yours,
Girl





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