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Thought My Life Was Laid Out In Front of Me
Love is like a black hole. Come to close to someone, get pulled in, and then get ripped to shreds.
Everyone always says to never give up, but I am just about ready to. My heart has been broken too many times, and I think that eventually it will be too broken to repair. Whenever I think someone is just right, they cheat on me. Or do drugs. Or are a complete ass. Or a combination. I’m starting to think it’s me. Am I just a boring human being, someone that people think they can use? Just “temporary”? I don’t think I will ever find love. Ever.
“Victoria! Come down quick!” I hear Mum yell from downstairs. I walk out of my room and down the stairs, and I see her holding an envelope.
“What’s that?” I ask, and she looks like she’s going to have a heart attack.
“It’s from Yale.” She says, and gulps. My heart stops. Going to Yale is all I have dreamed of, I have worked so hard for. I’ve spent so many days of studying when I could have been out with my friends. So many things I have sacrificed to maintain my 4.0 grade point average.
“Well, read it!” I scream, and squeeze her arm.
“Alright,” Mum says, and she opens the envelope. “Dear Ms. Turner: We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Yale university.” Mum stops reading and hugs me.
“You did it, oh god- Honey I am so proud of you!” I see a tear run down her eye.
“Mum, I can’t believe it...” I say. This is really happening. I’m going to Yale. High school doesn’t even matter anymore, I did it.
Summer came so quickly. I have been planning my college life, not even thinking about anything else. My life is all planned out- I go to Yale, get my degree in medicine, go back for my doctorate, and BAM! Everything is laid out. But for now, I’m spending my summer in California on a beach. The beach is so calm, everything is so nice. No stress, all of my worries gone. Everything is perfect. I get to stay at the beach with my friend Katie, at her summer home. I write to Mum all the time, she’s back in Massachusetts.
Katie and I head to the beach, and stare at the blue water. I hear there are coral reefs around here. There are none of those in Massachusetts, I can tell you that.
“Hey, Vicky, wanna go surfing?” Katie asks.
“Well, I’ve never gone surfing...” I admit. Pretty pathetic.
“Hah, it’s alright. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it quickly. I have some boards back at my house. You wait here, okay?” She says.
“Yeah, okay.” I agree. Katie runs back towards her house, and I take a seat on the hot sand. I take out my beach bag, apply sunscreen, put on my sunglasses, and relax. I look towards the water at all the surfers. There is one surfer in particular that really looks amazing out there. He never seems to fall, and he has perfect posture and balance. I stare at him in amazement. I can’t really tell what he looks like, he’s so far away. Katie returns a few minutes later with the boards.
“Ready?” Katie asks, and she hands me a board.
“As ready as I’ll ever be...” I say nervously, and Katie laughs. I know I’m just going to embarrass myself, and not just in front of Katie, but in front of the surfer I saw.
“Just try to balance.” Katie tells me.
“Good instructions.” I say sarcastically. We both run to the water, and start paddling out deep. I see a wave coming, and I let it take me away. Water droplets splatter my face, practically blinding me. The wave pulls me, and I try to stand. Of course, I fall. Hard. I tumble under the water, feeling bubbles across my face and swim quickly up to the surface, gasping for air.
“New surfer?” I hear someone say, and I look around. It’s the surfer! His hair a golden blonde, his eyes blue like sky, and he’s tan. He even has a six pack. I’m too shocked to really say anything, so I sort of nod my head.
“Want me to help you there?” He asks, and smiles. His teeth are so white I swear they could blind someone. He’s the complete package.
“Uh- me?” I ask in amazement.
“Yes...” He giving me a confused look.
“Sure,” I say slowly, kind of confused on why he is even talking to me.
“Before we surf, may I ask your name?” He asks.
“Victoria. And yours?” I reply.
“I’m Wes. So, Vic, let’s get started.” He says. Vic? Nobody has called me that before. I like it. Wes gets on his surfboard, and he pulls me up too. He sits behind me, and we wait for a wave. A wave comes rather quickly, and Wes is right up to it, and he catches it perfectly. We start going and he stands up. He holds his hand out to me, and I take it and slowly stand. I can’t really keep my balance, and Wes grabs my waist. We surf the wave together, and when it’s over we go again. And again. And again. I kind of ditched Katie, but I don’t really care. Wes and I surf together for hours. I find out that he lives here, and is going to Stanford. When we finish surfing we head to the beach.
“I had a great time, Vic.” Wes says to me, and he holds my hands.
“Me too.” I say nervously.
“We should hang out again. Meet me here tonight at 8:00?” Wes asks, and I slowly nod. “Well, until then,” Wes says, and he walks away.
It is totally unlike me to just run off with some stranger, but it seems like Wes is different. He’s perfect, and I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t run off with him. I don’t know what Wes sees in me, I’m not even that pretty. I would say I’m average. That boy could have any girl he wants.
I tell Katie all about Wes, and how I’m meeting him tonight. She listens well, and we pick out my outfit and do my makeup, and all that girl stuff you do before you go on a date. I choose a sundress with sunglasses and sandals, and Katie wishes me good luck as I go out the door. My heart pounds, I can’t make any mistakes in front of Wes or I bet he’ll ditch me. My heart could get crushed again. I try to forget about all those past relationships. I need to stop dwelling on the past, and start thinking about only the things that are happening now. I see a figure in the distance, and they call out.
“Vic?” I hear. Yup, it’s Wes.
“Yes!” I call back.
“I’m so glad you came,” Wes says. He grabs my hand, and our fingers intertwine.
“Y-Yeah. So, what do you-” Wes suddenly leans in and kisses me, out of nowhere. I find that I am kissing him back. I can’t even believe I’m doing this. I NEVER kiss anyone on the first date.
“Let’s go to my place.” Wes says, he picks me up and we run away. I am wrapped up in his arms, taken away. I just go along with it.
For the next three months, Wes is all I can think about. I end up spending most of my time at his house instead of Katie’s. We laugh together, we gaze up at the stars, all the mushy boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. He’s mine forever. Just the other night I remembered Yale, how I need to leave California. I haven’t told Wes yet, and I don’t know how I’m going to.
I’m planning to tell Wes today when I head over to his house. Should I just work it into the conversation? Or should I go right in and say it? I don’t know. I’ll just do what seems right I guess.
I walk up to Wes’s door, and know. He comes right to the door, doing that pearly white smile of his. It’s so cute. I don’t want to crush Wes like he did of me. I walk in and sit down.
“Hey, Vic, what’s been happening?” He says, and he wraps his arm around me and kisses me on the head.
“A lot, I guess.” I say, and leave his arms. I take a seat on the couch and sigh. Well, here goes nothing. Maybe the end of the best relationship I’ve ever had.
“Babe, what’s up?” He asks, and his eyes get all big.
“Well, this-” I stop. All of a sudden I feel queasy. Out of nowhere. Am I nervous? I run to the bathroom, and I barf. In front of Wes. I am at my boyfriend’s house barfing, I swear, this may be the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.
“Vic, you alright?” I hear Wes call.
“Not really,” I say back faintly. This is great. I am a mess, completely disgusting. Of course this happens now. I don’t even know why I’m barfing, all I’ve had today was a bowl of cereal.
“Vic, you should head home. I’m worried about you,” Wes says.
“Okay,” I say weakly. I force myself up, and drag myself out the door, back to my house. Once I get home, Katie asks me what’s up, and I tell her about my grossness. I feel totally dizzy, and I’m starting to get concerned. I run for the toilet again. I barf more. Disgusting. I reach for a towel under the cabinet, and I see a box of tampons. Wait, I haven’t had my period for two months. Oh my god. Am I pregnant? No, there isn’t any possible way that’s true. It can’t be true. I search through Katie’s cabinet, trying to find a pregnancy test. Luckily, I find one. I find it, use it. I wait a few seconds, and I see a +. Oh my god. How accurate are these things?! This can’t be happening? Am I really pregnant? I’m only 18! I’m pregnant with Wes’s baby. Why me? What did I do to deserve this?! I need to tell Wes. How am I going to go to Yale with a baby!? I can’t handle a baby! What is Mum going to say, what is she going to think? Her perfect girl turned into an instant disappointment. I have been pulled into the twisted maze that you never come out of, called love. 3 months ago my life was laid out in front of me, and now I’m a complete mess. I need to talk to Wes tonight. He always hangs out in The little restaurant down the street. I’ll go there tonight. Instead of Yale, looks like I’m going to be a mom. Oh my god, what am I saying?!
I’ve been freaking out these past 5 hours, and now it’s time to tell Wes. I walk down the street, thinking to myself how stupid I am and how my life is ruined, and I get to the restaurant. I look, and the little asian woman that always works there says hello. I scan the restaurant for Wes. There he is, over in the corner, sitting alone.
“Wes!” I call. He doesn’t hear me. I am about to yell to him again, but all of a sudden I see a girl walk over to him and sit next to him. He takes ahold of her hand. That’s a little... weird. I start to walk over, but then he kisses her. All of a sudden my heart crumbles inside of me, and it’s like a knife stabs through my heart. My life falls apart at that moment.