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“Ida, open your eyes”
Your words held no promise.
“Ida… I’m sorry”
You broke my heart. I can still smell the ashes of the fire from that night. It surrounded us, but it also revealed the truth, by uncovering all your lies.
I remember screaming out in pain, not only from the flames that flickered against my exposed skin, but from the sight that I had witnessed. I’d promised myself never to be reminded again, but your presence here has just ruined that.
“Ida, open your eyes. I’m taking you home”
Another fire, and another lie. Before I could react you had already pulled me into your arms and we were running. My eyes sprang open.
“Let me go” I gasped, the words barely escaped my mouth, but I knew he could hear me.
“No, I won’t” He looked down at me, “not ever again”
“I left you once, you bastard; I swear I’ll do it again.” I spoke big, but his smouldering gaze weakened my limbs. So instead I just glared at him.
Soon I could smell the fresh cool air of the night, and I inhaled it clearing my head. His stride didn’t stop though, he kept walking.
“Where are you taking me” I asked still glaring at him.
He frowned. “I don’t like to see you upset” he whispered as he planted a silent kiss on my forehead, I began to lose consciousness. Unfortunately, for the first time in over ten years I could not stop the words that whispered through my mind like a silent breeze.
They say that spring brings promise and truth,
So does fall bring lies?
For every promise made is like a single petal that blooms
It withers, falls from its stem…and dies.
These words of truth betray my every vengeful thought. As my mind floats in a stream of truthful sorrow, the current state of my body unknown, I travel back to a day so many years ago.
We met in the gardens during the spring month of April. The orchids were breathtaking, tiny drops of rain nestled on the surface of its petals as a result of the storm the night before. They shone radiantly in the early blush of dawn.
I stood there, wondering if I could shine as radiantly, for I myself had a storm residing within my heart. Once the storm passed, would single droplets of pure moisture remain, leaving me shining just as radiantly as the early orchids of spring?
“Does your anguish run as deep as the sorrow shown on your pretty face?” You had said as you strolled up towards me.
I turned towards your voice, startled at your sudden appearance in the field at the early hour. As I began to speak the words that I had hoped would spare you my bitter mood, the brilliant morning sunshine slipped through the spaces between the neighbouring branches of the old willow tree and rested against you, creating a woeful halo.
“Yes, my sorrow runs deep. The early morning stars had foretold that the pain in my lonely heart will scar, never to be healed by another for as long as I shall live.” I responded, closing my eyes at what I had then believed to be the only truth.
I heard light shifting between the plants beside us and opened my eyes. You presented me with not a flower, but a single petal.
I gasped lightly as you brought it up to my face and used it to sweep the tears from my flushed cheek.
You spoke, “This petal of an innocent orchid of spring has removed your sorrows and purified it with the beauty and power of nature. You tears have simply intensified its loveliness.” You bent down towards the garden bed and ran his finger down the layer of dirt. You then rested the petal between them and swept your hand across the whole area. The petal disappeared.
Taking my hands and drawing me down to where you knelt you guided my trembling fingers towards the spot where my sorrows had been buried.
“Do you feel it?” you asked me. “Close your mind and open your senses, what do you feel?”
I inhaled deeply and held the breath for a few seconds then released it with ease.
“I … I feel one with myself.” I looked at you, “it is not complete, but I do feel hope.”
You looked back at me, “Your heart shines as radiantly as the sun…”
“Destiny. My name is Destiny.”
You smiled. “Hello Destiny, my name is Michael. It truly is a pleasure to meet you.”
The months had passed quickly; before we knew it summer had come and gone, taking with it the promise of a new found joy as the winter months only brought sadness and confusion.
The fateful day occurred on a lonely December night.
That night I wandered throughout the woods. My cloak hung low, and my pale face and ebony locks hid under its hood. The whispers of leaves and the thoughts of the trees guided my way. My heart throbbed with anticipation on this night of the new moon, I couldn’t wait another day. With every step I took, an unexpected light approached. My speed hastened and I darted between the trees of the woods. The forest began to thin as I approached the clearing. Though my strength had returned, my heart had healed, and my love had grown, I had always feared winter would appear to destroy my sudden joy.
As I watch the cabin burn, I knew without a doubt that you were still inside. “Marcus” my voice was not but a whisper. I sprint the last few steps and kick open the wooden door.
That’s when I saw it; it was what brought me down to what I was sure would be my last breath.
My eyes fluttered open and I saw us for what we truly were. As I lay there on the cool solid lawn, sparks of ashes dancing around in the air, I looked up at you. I stared deep into those opaque grey eyes of yours and I whispered…
“To you I make this promise
That the words I speak are sacred
Though we shared many days of bliss
It seems our love has been wasted”
I looked past your moonstruck eyes and stared up at the sky. I had never truly seen the stars before, their elegance and subtle luminous glory; your beauty had blinded my soul, my ignorance ran deep.
“No more” I whispered, my eyes stung of tears that threatened to escape. I tried to clear my throats but sobs began to break through.
I did not know you until I had dreamt of you.
I did not dream you until I had seen you.
I had never truly seen you until you had slain my heart.
You would have never slain my heart if I did not hate you.
I stared back up at his glorious eyes for what I knew would be the last time, and whispered to his my final words, “And I would not have hated you, unless I never truly loved you.” With that, I let my tears run free, savouring the feel of his lips as they captured the traitorous liquid dripping down the side of my face.