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My Fairytale Reality

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I sit at the same coffee shop at the same table with two chairs next to the same window with the same fake tree behind me. I know its fake for a fact I have checked. I take of sip of my caramel cappuccino take a breath. And start to take in the same scenery that I have every day just after the sun comes up at 7:30 am. All I can hear is my boss from the day before saying “it’s time to start writing for Valentine’s Day! I need sappy love stories and I need them from you.” I’m staring at my blue notebook I have had since I was 12 that I carry everywhere, with all of the white pages that have been filled with the memories of my childhood in Iowa. As I search my mind for anything with love that doesn’t sound like a movie or something from a book. I thought about asking people in the coffee shop about their stories of love and heartbreak. My mind starts to drift and I remember that summer, that boy and I turn to a blank page and begin to write about the best summer of my life.
“Today seems like a dream I mean we had been friends forever. Someone had to know this would happen. I remember the first day I met you; it seems like a life time ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was at my best friend Mila’s house; I was in 1st grade you were in 3rd you had just moved here a few weeks ago, Maia thought it would be nice to ask you to come and play. Maia asked her mother to call your house and to ask you and your brother to play. When you came down the hill from your house to hers, I learned yours names, you Zane and him Jack. It was a good name and we got along well, we played tag all day ate popsicles on the deck and watched movies into the night. But I didn’t think anything would come from it then. Until a few months ago when the butterflies appeared and I fell, I fell pretty damn hard.
It was the first time you have sat next to me when all of us watched a movie in Maia’s basement. I could tell you were nervous but I didn’t understand why I mean I’m just a 14 year old girl you’re a 16 year old boy, I can’t be that intimidating. Or was I, I mean I’m kind of pretty aren’t I? I have light blond hair and bright blue eyes. I’m a little young for him but maybe he doesn’t see me that way as a young girl and we can be together someday when we are older. You put your arm around me, snaps me back to reality. Now I’m really confused, me? Why would you want me? I’m young and you can get any girl you want and you choose me? I guess you haven’t really chosen me yet maybe you just want a girl for the night or your cold, I don’t know. As the days progress on you seem to want to be near me even more every day. We always have so much fun together that has to mean something right? Wait should I be thinking this way? Should I be thinking that I want to be with you? That I want a life with you? I know it’s wrong to think of your best friend in this way. But still the dream lives on, the dream grows with the slightest touch on my arm or with your arms wrapping around my waist. I guess I started to become a fantasy with the idea of you the idea of marrying you and starting a family. I even had all of their names picked out three girls Aliana Jane, Octavia Hailee and Riiy Linsy. We would live in a big house with a dog near our families but not to close. That fantasy became an obsession, an obsession with you and a life with you. But today the day that brought everything and made it clear I could now see everything.
Today is a beautiful day, a beautiful summer’s day. It is just you and me alone sitting in Maia’s living room she and Jack had gone to the store to get pizza ice cream and movies for tonight. You and I are sitting on the couch watching cupcake wars, with your left arm around my shoulders and I had slid down to put my head on your shoulder as if it belongs there. I gracefully stand to go to the kitchen to get water and I come back just in time to get hit with a pillow spilling my water all over Maia’s floor. I grab the closest pillow to me and smack you in the face. You then returned with hitting me with a bigger pillow and pulling me to the ground. You ended up on top of me with your face only an inch form mine. We lay here for what seems like hours I could feel you heart it was beating as fast as mine only yours is stronger the rhythm is more powerful it makes me feel safe. Your eyes a tasteful milk chocolate brown, your hair had been cut short only the day before but it was still the light brown color I love, and the way you smell goes without saying, it was strong but it was soothing something I could smell every minute of everyday and never get bored with. Your breath was warm on my skin, it made me melt. I could feel you getting closer very slowly it seemed like you were hesitant, scared of what could be what we could become. Your lips barely touching mine you whispered ‘Are you okay?’ that’s when I took the leap the leap into your heart and I kissed you with more passion than anyone ever before. I knew that someday people would find out I knew that this could never be anything other than this and if it would be it would be a long time from now a long time…I finally get the nerve to say ‘your untouchable like a distant diamond sky I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why I'm caught up in you burning brighter than the sun and when you're close, I feel like coming undone.’ I paused trying not to die, ‘In the middle of the night waking from this dream. I want feel you by my side, standing next to me. You have to say that we'll be together that was only a little taste of heaven.’ You look at me with a blank stare and I feel the confusion on your face turn into a smile, you say. ‘Do you remember we were sitting there on the couch? I put my arm around you for the first time. You are the best thing that's ever been mine. I fell in love with a beautiful girl who I want to have my daughters. I’ll never leave you alone.’ I will never forget the way you said, ‘Are you okay.’ Making me feel like I belonged there making me never want to leave your embrace and I never will.
The year is 2020 it’s been 10 years since the perfect day. The day I will never forget, the dream I had well it didn’t come true he moved the following summer and I never spoke to him again. I guess things just weren’t meant to be. I was his Juliet that never faked her death to be with her Romeo. Although my Romeo never tried to make contact with me ill always have my fantasy. I always keep finding myself trying to make my life a movie a summer love with a boy that I will never meet again is as close as I will get. He was the perfect boy and he is probably living somewhere with a beautiful wife and children. Everyone has an amazing love story whether it is being with the man you have loved since you were 16 or meeting the women of your dreams when you were 30. Every story is unique and prefect in its own way.”
My coffee is now cold and my hand feels like it’s going to fall off. I feel the urge to go get a new coffee but my body is struck with the sight I feel I might faint the feelings are coming back and I can’t move or speak I can only stare. I caught your eye you had to take a second look. Your eyes still the color of a heresy’s kiss, I feel myself fall all over again. Fall into your arms fall into you. You still smell the same a smell I will never forget. All I can see now is all of his being walking to me; I stand his body so close to mine. I can still feel his heart beating but this time his beat is synced to mine. It’s like everyone else has just been pushed out of my mind. Your voice is beautiful it sounds like a symphony of violins asking a single question.
“Are you married?”
“No, are you?”
“No.”
“Thank god.”





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