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Falling

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I am standing on the edge of a deep ravine; it’s a long way to the bottom. I toss a pebble and wait for it to hit the ground but I don’t hear a thing. It’s a VERY long way to the bottom.

I don’t want to jump, but it’s happening against my will. One instant, I am standing with my feet on the ground and in the next second I’m in the air and I know why.

It’s because of your laugh, not the fake one. A real laugh, that rises from deep inside your belly and causes your shoulders to shake; because of your tears, which fall very rarely but only in front of me. It’s because I’m the first person to know about your problems, because you trust me enough to think that I’ll solve them. It’s because you pinch my cheeks so hard, it drives me crazy but it doesn’t matter to you because you like it or maybe because you came all the way to my house when I was leaving town for a few days. It’s because you treat me so sweetly and so gently unlike any guy I know. Or maybe it is because I am your best friend.

I had been gently floating through the air when I thought about all the reasons why I was there but with the last reason, the floating stopped. These few moments of happiness faded and I started falling.

I try flinging my arms in all directions, kicking my legs everywhere but nothing makes me slow down. I keep picking up speed and everything is rushing past me. I am falling hard. I squeeze my eyes shut and try and picture your face but it keeps getting replaced by HER.

She is the girl who owns your heart. Even after everything that I have and she doesn’t, that’s one thing you didn’t give me.
But I already know it isn’t our will that guides the heart. That’s reason I am here and you are there.

I stop flailing my arms and stop moving, so I can pretend that I am still floating. I open my eyes and I see, the ground is rushing up to meet me and its barren, there is nothing, there is no one waiting for me.

I once again close my eyes and see your face for the last time and wait for the hardness of the ground but instead of that, I hit something softer with so much force that I and that person tumble on the ground and role for a few feet.
I realize that I am lying in someone’s arms and without opening my eyes, I know it’s you because no one can smell that good. I open my eyes and there you are, smiling at me, like I am a prize that you have won instead of the other way round.

You caught me, and enveloped me in your warmth so tightly that I couldn’t even breathe. Then you give me just a little room so that I can wrap my hands around neck and then your lips come crashing down on mine with impatience but they move gently against mine. You graze my lips lightly with your teeth and then your tongue snakes out to touch my lips, I open my mouth and slide my tongue along with yours and a dance begins. It’s slow and agonizing but the best first kiss I could have imagined.

We get up and I look around to the most beautiful place I have ever seen. Gone is the barren land I saw from above. Instead I see a stunning meadow filled with so many flowers, big and small, tall and short and in every color possible. The fragrance in the air is not overpowering but a perfectly balanced scent. I can only think of one name and one name only for this place. It’s called “paradise”.
You take my hand, look at me and together we take a step into happiness.

It’s because I fell in love and you caught me



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