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A Fight For Love
A Fight for Love
Within our lives we struggle for acceptance. We want to please everyone. We want to be viewed positively. However, where do we draw the line between what’s best for us and what is best for everyone else?
There once was a girl who always lived for others. She wanted her parents to be proud of her. She was always concerned of what others thought of her, and the last thing she would stand for is someone talking down on her or her family.
She was a part of a culture where image was everything. Your actions not only shaped your reputation, but the reputation of your family. Reputation was golden in this culture. Your reputation could make you or break you. It could corrupt your future or help create an amazing future. Marriage was very crucial in this culture. If you were not married by a certain age it automatically meant that you were a bad person and no one wanted you because of your actions. It was not so simple though, this culture frowned on divorce and marriages were arranged. You basically picked an individual to spend your life with based on their image and a conversation that happened within a few hours or if you were lucky a few days. This method had been practiced for ages, however, living the modern lifestyle teenagers live in the 21st century; this process had become foreign to them.
One day, this girl and her family took a trip overseas. Men were at the door ready to ask for her hand in marriage. She was very stubborn and she had no reason not to be. She was about to pick a man to spend her life with. Her parents on the other hand were getting impatient. Here credentials of “the perfect guy” were nearly impossible to meet.
In the back of her head she knew it wasn’t impossible. As a matter of fact, what she wanted was her reality. She had the man of her dreams waiting for her in America. However, she could tell no one about this. Dating was unacceptable in this culture. This was not just dating; she wanted her relationship with this man to expand into something everlasting, marriage. They shared an unconditional love that is rare to find amongst such young individuals. He did not meet her parent’s criteria for the ideal man. He worked and attended school. He never had anything handed to him, and did not come from a wealthy family. The girl overlooked all of this because his compassion was far more important then what he could bring to the table financially. She knew her parents’ would never accept him. That summer, she said no to every man who came for her. She had the silliest reasoning behind her decisions, and her parents were fed up.
This girl also did not have the best reputation back home. She was talked about which made the need for her to get married even more essential. She needed to get married before word got out about her past, and no one would want her. Her boyfriend back home wanted her, but there was no one she could possibly confide in. She felt the world against her. Everyone barked at her and didn’t take into account what she wanted. It was to the point where individuals outside the family were getting under her skin about it. Then, she felt her world tumbling down when her parents had no choice but to force her into a marriage.
The man chosen by her parents had a good career, was an overall good person, and came from a good family. He was not part of the village which was slightly looked down on, but his good qualities beat out the bad ones. They had the engagement within a few weeks because the man had to go back to America, and so did the girl. Everyone thought she was happy, but she wasn’t, and you can only put a face on for so long. The walls were closing in on her. Her life consisted of school, home, home school. Her social life had taken a turn sense her engagement. She didn’t want to do anything because she was unable to be with the one man that mattered.
She began to get ill. She was not eating, and she couldn’t concentrate in school. Her body became weak; she could no longer hide how she felt for the sake of her emotional and physical health. One late night, she broke down. She explained she did not want this, and she did not want him. At this point however she had no choice, she was getting married whether she wanted to or not. The papers were signed and divorce was not an option. No matter how much she cried she was getting married. This girl was scared to reach out to anyone outside of her family. She didn’t want anyone knowing how dysfunctional her life was, and more importantly how dysfunctional her family was. She was told if she divorced this man then no one would want her and she would end up alone.
Everyone knew she was not happy, but everyone ignored it. She would cry herself to sleep every night. She had more than one episode where she would break down. Her mother brushed it off and told her she had to stick it out, and made sure she was calm before her father came home. Her mother was not a bad person; she wanted the best for her daughter. She felt that at that point in time her daughter didn’t know what the best was, so she had to push her to it. The girl knew what was best for her, and this wasn’t it. However, no one would listen to her, no one would help her, and she was stuck.
The man continued to come visit her and was so happy to be marrying the girl. She on the other hand, still just could not to do. Eventually she had to take matters in her own hand, and that time had come. On one of the man’s visit, he dropped her off home and she told him it was not going to work. She was simply not happy, and it was not him, they just did not fit each other. The man expected this because it was clear that she was not happy. When she walked into the house she told her mother what had occurred. Her mother was fumed. It was completely inappropriate for divorce to occur to begin with, but it was even more unacceptable for the girl to call it off. The man’s parents called the girl’s parents and let them know what had come about. The girl’s father went months not talking to his daughter. He completely avoided her presence. The girl was dying inside.
A few months later, the family went to a wedding where she caught eye contact with her boyfriend. By this point she had enough of it all, and he was going to come ask for her regardless of the reaction she expected from her parents. That night the man came and officially asked for the girls hand in marriage. She was in love. She was oblivious to all the reason this could not work. He didn’t come from a wealthy family, his family was not well-known, and he was still in school. These reasons were vivid to the father. Her mother was livid with the whole situation. She was dying just as much as the girl was; it’s not easy watching you daughter struggle through so much pain. The mother stepped up to the father and explained if he’s what she wants, then so be it.
Her father was still hesitating about the whole idea, but at this point the girl didn’t care. She wanted him and she knew she was going to do whatever it took to have him. This was the point of the girls life where she had to decide what was more important, what she wanted or what everyone else wanted. What she wanted overruled everyone else. Her parents both finally agreed to let her marry him.
The engagement was a few weeks later, and they were both so happy. The father began to talk to his daughter again. Their relationship slowly began to repair itself. Her mother was happy for her daughter. Despite what had happened in the past, everyone repented and was glad the girl was happy.
Finally, it was established that these cultural myths corrupt a family. She did indeed get remarried after her divorce. A few months after the engagement, she had the wedding and moved in with her new husband. Two years after their wedding they had their first child, and two years after that they had the second. Their marriage grew stronger.
In all of this it was made clear that when your world is crashing down, you are the only one that can put it back to place. Determination is key when fighting for what you strive. If you want it bad enough, it will happen. Nothing is impossible, if you work hard enough to get it.