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Shakir checked his phone and there was a message, he didn’t recognize the number. He opened the message and read:
Shakir didn’t know who it was so he replied:
Hey who’s this?
After 2 minutes he got his reply.
Sakina…he murmured to himself.
I don’t know any Sakina. How did you get this number?
I just txted a random number. n who’s this?
He thought “What a silly person, they just texted a random number without knowing who it is.”
Why would u txt a random number? I’m Shakir.
He pressed send and waited, few minutes later…
Nice to meet u Shakir, how old r u? Oh n I was bored
When he received her message he chuckled.
Ok…I’m 18 n u? oh n nice meeting u too. r u a grl?
Maybe she might think it was a silly question but he was curious, what if it turn out to be a guy?
He checked his phone n there was a new message.
I’m 15 n yes I am a grl.
He laughed a little n replied:
Lol…I wasn’t sure…where r u from?
She didn’t reply until 5 minutes later.
Well I live in California in the beautiful city of LA, lol, n u? n u r a guy, right?
He laughed; he started to like having this conversation.
Lol…yes I am a guy…I’m from New York. (Then he looked at the time, it was 12:30 am)What time is it in California?
Kewl…I’ve never been 2 New York but I’m guessing it’s awesome…its 9:32pm n over there?
Its 12:37am…yeah it is awesome…I’ve never been to California…hope I do someday.
Wow! It’s kinda late for u…ill leave you then…
No! Its fine…sometimes I sleep until two in the morning.
For some reason he didn’t want to stop talking to her and wanted to know more about her.
Oh…ok…but only for a little while cuz u might need to wake up early tomorrow.
Lol…yeah I do cuz I have school... n u?
I do 2…r u a good student or class clown? lol
I try 2 stay on task…lol…but my grades r good n urs? bet ur a pretty smart lady…
Ha-ha…yeah I guess I am cuz I have good grades 2?
They talked a bit about school and family; Shakir had a question in mind but wasn’t sure if to ask or not.
Do u have a boyfriend Sakina?
She took some time to reply and when she did her message said…
Well got 2 go…it was nice talking to u…goodnight n candy dreams…lol…
Shakir wondered if it had been a wrong idea to ask.
Two Days passed and Shakir kept thinking of Sakina. She didn’t text him back and he didn’t dare send her a message, “but why?” he would ask himself. He then thought, “instead of texting her I can call her.” He took a deep breath and dialed the number; he was nervous, he cleared his throat and waited. When he was about to hang up…
“Yes, hi this is Shakir.”
“Sakina? Oh, ummm…hold on a second.”
Shakir was still nervous and very anxious in waiting to hear her voice.
“Hey, ummm… Sakina?”
“Yeah it’s me,”
“Oh ummm…hey,” (he laughed)
“Ha-ha, hey how’s it going?”
“Fine, fine…just wondering why you haven’t texted me. I’ve missed you,”
“Ha-ha, I’ve missed u too. Oh and it’s cuz I didn’t save your number and my sister used my cell phone and by accident erased yours. Since I texted a random number I didn’t know it,”
“I like your voice you know…so soft and sweet,”
“Ha-ha, funny…well thanks, I like yours too. Hey ummm… I have to go,”
“Oh really? Ahhh, that sucks,”
“Yeah I know but how about if I text you later?”
“Oh sure…I’ll be waiting then,”
“Ok then, bye.”
“Take care, bye”
She hung up and Shakir felt happy because he had the chance to hear her voice but disappointed because it only had been for a few minutes. That day he waited to receive Sakina’s message but it didn’t come. The next day he wondered why she hadn’t texted him but he didn’t want to call. What if she just didn’t want to talk to him? So he didn’t insist. Like around the afternoon he checked his phone and had a new message. He checked from whom and it was from Sakina.
Hey Shakir?Sorry I couldn’t txt u yesterday but so many things r going on. How's it going?
He was happy that he finally got to talk to her again.
Hi Sakina…I’m happy that I get 2 talk 2 u again…lol…well ummm, I’ve been good n thinking about u lately:b
Oh really? Lol…kewl, I’ve been thinking about u 2:b
Really? Awesome…n what where u thinking about me? Lol.
Well of how u seem 2 be a really kewl guy. Lol, so what do u wanna talk about?
“She thinks I’m cool…chess!” thought Shakir to himself.
Well lets keep getting 2 know each other. What do u like 2 do 4 fun?
I like 2 play basketball, write poetry n story’s, listen 2 music, n go out w/ friends. n u?
Kewl, that sounds like fun. Ummm, I like 2 go out w/ friends, listen 2 music, eat ice cream, play soccer n basketball?
Nice? Have u ever played in a school team or something?
Nah. How about u?
No, I just play w/ friends. Lol
Same here :b
They talked the whole night about sports, books, music.
So u like 2 listen 2 Hindi music?
Yeah I do.
Nice, r u Hindu?
Nah….I just like 2 listen 2 the music.
Well that’s kewl?
They talked about their plans for their future and what they would like to do when they finished High School.
Well I only have these 4 months before I graduate. U know I got accepted 2 this college in California. Now that I know somebody there it wouldn’t be a bad idea 2 move there…lol.
Yeah that would be awesome.
As the night went on, Shakir felt he had known Sakina a whole lifetime. They shared many things in common; of course she had a unique personality. Once more after all these questions he wanted to get more personal and so he asked:
Sakina do u have a boyfriend?
After a while she replied to him that it was kind of late and that she had to go. They both said goodnight being 1:30 am in California and 4:30am in New York.
It had been the second time Sakina avoided the question. “Maybe she has a boyfriend but she doesn’t want to talk about him. I hope she doesn’t.” he thought to himself. Shakir had started to like Sakina without having seen her. The only problem was if her heart was taken? “I need to stop this feeling! I cant like her because I don’t know her.”
Later that day Shakir woke up around noon and his best friend Syeda came to visit. Because he was confused, Shakir told Syeda about Sakina and how he felt about her. “What if I tell her I like her and I might hurt her or something?” “Well I think you should tell her what you feel and see what happens. You need to at least try it.” Shakir thought about it and decide to follow her advice. So when he received a message from Sakina that night he was decided to tell her; maybe if he did they could meet and start a relationship.
Hey Shakir: /
Hey Sakina? what’s wrong?
Problems n more problems.
Wish u where here so I could tell u.
Well u can tell me like this. What’s wrong?
Ummm, well family problems, feeling confused, stupid, lonely.
Why? What’s making u feel this way? I’m here 4 u!
I’m having problems w/ my parents. I feel like they r not happy 2gether n they don’t understand me. They expect more 4m me n don’t appreciate what I do. ppl say I’m a great person n surely my parents’ r proud of me but the truth is different. I’m just tired of this life :,(
Sakina! My Sakina! plz don’t say that! ur the greatest n nicest person I’ve ever met. W/ everything we have talked even if I have not seen u, I feel I need u! I have gotten 2 know u n I know ur a unique grl! I LOVE YOU!
Ha-ha…thanks Shakir. I love u 2. Also I’m confused because I don’t know what 2 do w/out my boyfriend. He left a year ago n I’ve been waiting a whole year 4 him 2 come back. I miss him so much n need him badly. He was the only one that understood me until I met u.
That stabbed Shakir in the heart! His Sakina was in love with someone else. She had said that she loved him but not in the way he would want her to. He felt strange and thought to himself, “Why? Why when I’ve found the girl I love she has to love someone else?!” Shakir didn’t want to reply to her message and read it over and over again. Then he received another message from Sakina.
Shakir, plz promise me something!
N what would that be?
That u will always be there for me no matter what.
I will always be there for u Sakina n I promise to love n respect u.
Thanks Shakir. Ur a very understanding friend n I hope our friendship lasts a whole life time.
There is something I am afraid of telling u Sakina.
Oh I was going to ask about u. I’m only talking about me n my problems n being selfish by not asking about u. Do u have any problems? N what is that?
He took a deep breath and replied:
I’ve been thinking about this the whole day and I’m afraid of ur reaction but I’m willing 2 take the risk n I hope the outcome is a good one. Even though I haven’t seen u I feel I’ve known u my whole life n I want to say I love u!
His heart beat increased and with every heartbeat his anxiety grew as he waited for her reply.
Shakir r u serious? u love me? I thought u meant that u liked me but as ur friend. I’m sorry but I love my boyfriend n I can’t think of it right now any other way.
Her reply had just made the wound in his heart greater and the dagger that had been stabbed went in deeper.
Even if u don’t love me, that doesn’t matter 2 me cuz I feel the need 2 be w/ u even if only as a friend n I will keep my promise.
Thanks 4 understanding…well now it’s kinda late n I’m sleepy…lol. Goodnight Shakir n cotton candy dreams ;)
So sweet like always. Goodnight Sakina n cotton candy dream 4 u 2.
Shakir lying in his bed thought about his conversation with Sakina and wished that her response had been another but there was nothing left to be done. The next day Shakir had school and the only thing he would think about was Sakina but tried to concentrate. He wondered how and what it was that Sakina liked about her boyfriend. He wondered what was that her boyfriend had made to make her fall in love with him. What techniques? What gifts? Which words? How? Even though during the day he wouldn’t text with Sakina he kept checking his phone for any message from her; when night came there where no messages from her either and Shakir didn’t dare text her. “I feel I need to forget her but at the same time I need to know from her!” It seemed as if everything now was only about Sakina.
The next morning Shakir checked his phone and there was one missed call and a text message, both where form Sakina. He didn’t reply and he ignored her call. After getting ready he left to school. The whole day he kept his mind busy with school work, he used all his energy in sports, he tried hard to keep his mind off that girl and bring his life back to what it used to be. He decided that to stop this feeling there was only one way to do so.
The only way to fight one love is with another, that is to say, if he wants to stop his love for Sakina he would have to find someone else to help him forget her and he had just the right girl in mind. Syeda! Shakir knew that she had a crush on him and if he tried it with her then he was sure he would forget Sakina. He got his cell phone and called her.
“Hey Syeda, what’s up?”
“Well not much, here bored at home and you?”
“Are ur parents home?”
“No, they went out to dinner. Why?”
“Could I come over?”
“Ummm, sure I guess you can. Hey is there something wrong?”
“No, I just want to spend some time with you.”
“Oh, ok then. I’ll be waiting.”
Half an hour later Shakir arrived at Syeda’s house. He came in and hugged her, “Is there something wrong?” Syeda asked.
“No, I just need to fall in love with you!” and with that said Shakir kissed Syeda. She tried to pull away from him as soon as their lips touched but this was the moment she had waited for.
“Shakir, wait! Why are you doing this? Didn’t you tell me you felt in love with that other girl?”
“She loves someone else and when I found out it stabbed my heart!”
“Shakir, I know that you know that I love you! How do you think I felt when I found out about your love for her? I didn’t show the pain that consumed me but I still felt it!”
“No Shakir! Listen to me! I love you but I don’t want you to come and throw yourself at me if you don’t actually feel it. If you don’t love me please don’t ever kiss me again. I want you to go now.”
“Let me explain…”
“No, you already did and I understand but I can’t help feeling used,”
“Forgive me. Please,”
“Please Shakir leave now!” Syeda opened the door and left to her room without saying another word. Shakir felt so stupid for what he had done. He decided to go back home and rest, probably in his sleep he could escape from everything that tormented him. When he got home he noticed he had gone out without his phone which was now ringing on top of the table. He picked it up and saw it was a call from Sakina. He let it ring and when it stop he saw that there had been six missed calls from her. Shakir checked his messages and there where eleven messages all from her as well. All of them asked why would he not answer and if he was ok but Shakir didn’t want to talk to her. When he was about to turn his phone off he received a new message. The message was from Sakina and it read:
Shakir, I don’t know why u wont reply to my messages nor answer my calls. I’m sorry ok! For whatever I did or said I’m sorry. I just want u to know that u mean a lot to me n I thank u for loving me. Lol… it sounds kinda silly saying it. Thanks Shakir n take care.
With those words Shakir shed a tear. It sounded as if Sakina was saying goodbye and ending their friendship. He loved her and had promise to be always there for her. Shakir had to call her! He dialed her number and waited:
“Hello…” a soft voice answered
“Hi, ummm may I speak to Sakina?”
“Please, not at this moment. It’s not a good time.” He knew it was a voice from a girl but her voice sounded sad.
“Please! I need to speak to Sakina! It’s important,”
“No, you don’t understand,” the person on the other end said. The voice sounded familiar and Shakir knew it belonged to a girl but it seem as if she was crying.
“Wait, is there something wrong? It sounds as if you are crying.” Then he heard shouts in the background.
“Hey is everything ok?” he asked but then realized they had hung up.
Shakir called again but no answer. “What’s going on?” he thought. He kept calling and calling but they wouldn’t pick up. The next day he woke up early and left to school. Syeda had missed class and Shakir was sure that it was his fault. During lunch he called her house to see if she was ok but instead her mother answered. She told him that Syeda was not feeling well but would go back to school the next day. The next call he made was to Sakina. He tried several times but she wouldn’t pick up. He left voicemails and messages but no luck. When lunch was over Shakir headed to his next class which was English. His teacher told them that since he had been absent due to health problems he had not had any time to write a lesson plan for that day. Instead of giving them bookwork he was going to give them a special assignment. “On a blank sheet of paper I would like you to write a name in the middle. It can be any name, someone you know or make it up. Then on one corner you will write three descriptive words of this person. On another corner you will write a quote or a secret message for the person, and on the bottom you will write a few sentences telling that person something that you think you would like them to know. Well get started and when you’re done you can keep it to do what ever you please with it.” He said and turned his back on them to work on his computer. Shakir didn’t have to think twice of what name he would write down on his paper, Sakina. His paper looked something like this:
I love u!
“Though love can change behavior.
Real Love can change a life.”
Sakina, it’s been four days without you and I already feel the pain of not having you here. I need you and I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you and for ignoring your calls. You’re special to me and I love you. Like I promised I will always be here for you.
I love you?
If I only could tell you about these feelings then surely you would love me. But I’m a coward and it’s not possible for me to say this to you. Please, don’t torture me with this silence and see what’s left of this poor soul.
That night when he came back home he was determined to find out what was going on with Sakina. He called her in hope of her to answer.
“Hi, ummm may I speak to Sakina? From Shakir,”
“Sorry but that won’t be possible,” said the voice of a girl on the other side.
“Why? Does she not wish to speak to me?”
“No that’s not why…there is no Sakina here.”
“But this is her number.”
“Yes, I know but the person you’re looking for is not Sakina,”
“Ummm, so this is not Sakina’s phone?”
“My sister told me about you. She said that you where her friend and that she liked you.”
“So this is Sakina’s phone. She told me she only had one sister so you must be Monica.”
“Yes I am Monica but I told you that there is no Sakina here.”
“But you just told me that she’s your sister and…”
“Yes I know but her name was not Sakina,”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Sakina was my sister’s fantasy name. Her real name was Monique. Sakina was the name of an actress from her favorite movie…”
“Yes, Saawariya. She loved to imagine herself like Sakina because she said she was beautiful and perfect but she never knew that she was that herself.”
“Why are you talking in past tense?”
“Shakir did you love my sister?”
“I love her yes, why?”
“Then why did you leave her? Why did you leave her? Why did you not keep your word of always being there for her?”
“Why are you telling me this? I don’t understand anything, look I just need to talk to Sakina…I mean Monique.”
“Shakir did you love her?
“I told you I do!”
“Sakina as you call her was in love yes, but with a ghost.”
“What do you mean a ghost?”
“My sister had her first boyfriend who was a sweet and wonderful guy. They where perfect for each other and she loved him so much that she couldn’t imagine her life without him any other way. Her boyfriend died in a motorcycle accident last year and after his death she was devastated. She didn’t want to date another guy or even think about anyone until you came along.”
“But your sister said she didn’t love me! She told me about her boyfriend but she never told me he was dead.”
“I know but my sister never accepted the truth of his death. And it was a lie. She knew she was falling for you but didn’t want to keep these feelings because of the memory of her first boyfriend. Shakir, my sister loved you!”
When Shakir heard what she had just said he felt a variety of mixed feelings. He felt joy for now knowing that his love was correspond but guilt to know that he had avoided his love and gave his back to her when she needed him.
“Now my sister was going through hard times with all this family problems and her suffering of depression and lack of confidence. Everything changed when you came by, you brought a possibility, hope, a chance to see things in a different color. You brought light to my sister’s eyes but then you took it from her. If you really love my sister then this might be hard for you as it is for my family and me but since Sakina loved you then you must know.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Shakir you lost your beloved…u lost your Sakina…Sakina is dead.”
“No, no, no, Sakina!” he screamed. Shakir cried and then was paralyzed for a few minutes. He sat in a corner of his room with the phone on his hand. The phone rang and it said Sakina…
“Sakina!?...” he said
“No Shakir, Monica. Sorry but you need to know the truth. My sister died and she didn’t tell you the truth about her secret love…”
“Was I the cause?”
“No… it was everything and everyone around her. You…you where her strength!”
Shakir felt such a pain that he couldn’t even explain. He realized that it was real love that he felt and not just a simple crush.
“How…how did it happened?”
“She committed suicide,”
“I know I was shocked as much as you. She was an incredible person but those who couldn’t and wouldn’t see that destroyed her. My parents never saw what a great daughter she was and they would always compare her to other girls which was what mostly hurt her. Monique suffered from depression and she lacked confidence in herself because of all the put downs I suppose and so I guess those feelings pilled up and finally she couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I don’t know what to say, I…”
“Yes I know, we all didn’t know what to think or say. They all shed tears and said how much they loved her. What a great daughter, friend, and person they would say but they realized it too late.”
“I loved her and I thought she loved someone else… that’s why I tried to stay away from her. I never thought that would cause this.”
“It’s not your fault! I would like to thank you for your love for her. I wish she just had talked to me about her plans. Shakir Sakina left a letter for you.”
“Yes. I’m planning to mail it to you,”
“No! I’ll come to LA and get it myself,”
“It’s up to you,”
“Do you think I could come over and get a picture of her? Please!”
“Sure. I’ll keep her phone and when ever you get here just call me,”
“I’ll try to be there by tomorrow night,”
“That’s soon, but ok. I have to go now,”
“Thanks and I’m sorry for everything, bye.”
“Don’t be, ok then. Bye.”
As soon as he hung up the phone, he threw himself on his bed crying. “How could this be possible? No! No! No! He screamed. Suddenly his parents came in and asked him what was going on. Shakir told them about Sakina and the love he felt for her. His parents where shocked to hear the tragic story about this girl and felt very sorry for her.
“So you want to go to LA?”
“Yes I do,”
“Son I know you loved this girl but I don’t think it’s a good idea,” said his mother.
“No, Shakir needs to do this. He needs to go and get that letter,”
They agreed that Shakir would take a flight to California and his father would accompany him.
“I’ll try calling the agency tomorrow morning to see if there is any space,” said his mother.
“No mom, please! Could you check now?”
His mother turns to look at his father who gave her a nod.
“Ok, I’ll try.”
The both left the room and he started to pack a few cloths in a sports backpack and he grabbed his savings that he had to buy a car but that now would help him pay for his ticket and maybe some other things that he might need. In his pocket he put the letter that he had written for Sakina.
“Shakir I got you a ticket for tomorrow morning,” said his mother as she came in to the room.
“Perfect, thanks mom,”
“Sure, now get some rest and be ready, your plain takes off early in the morning.
“Thanks mom.” he said and then his mom closed the door and Shakir thinking of Sakina felt in a profound sleep.
At five thirty, Shakir was already up and getting ready to leave to the airport. When they got there Shakir said bye to his mother and took off with his dad. After boarding the plain Shakir thought of how he had rather wish that instead of going to visit his Sakina in a graveyard they would’ve met in a nice place and get to spend time with each other. During the whole flight Shakir didn’t speak to his dad and kept thinking about all that had happened. He couldn’t stop feeling guilt for not being there for Sakina as he promised. When they arrived to LA, Shakir called Monica. She gave him the address and they took a taxi. When they got there, there was a girl waiting outside who was wearing a black dress and her hair down.
“Shakir!” she shouted and waved at him.
Shakir and his father walked closer and introduced themselves to her.
“It’s nice meeting you both. Well now this is what belongs to you.” She handed him a letter and a picture which was turn over.
“When you turn over the picture you will find your Sakina,” she said. Shakir asked her what had happened to Sakina’s body and she told him that the family had decided to burry her. She gave him the address to the cemetery she was buried in and then they said their goodbyes.
“Thanks Shakir and I hope everything goes well for you.”
“Thanks you don’t know how much this means to me.”
They said goodbye and him and his father left on their way to the cemetery.
When Shakir arrived there he wanted to be alone and his father respected his decision. “Go son; ill be waiting here in the taxi.” Shakir walked and walked by the graves of many people; he never thought he would come to a cemetery to visit his Sakina. When he finally found her grave he kneeled down.
“Why Sakina? Why? I loved you and you loved me!” he said and shed a tear. “I brought you something,” he said and took out the letter which he read to her and then he took out a rose; a white rose with a black bow and a ring attached to it.
“This is for you and now I will see what you looked like.”
He took out the letter and his picture and decided to read the letter first. To his surprise the letter was just like the one he wrote and it said:
I secretly love you
Shakir, I miss you so much and I feel so bad because I didn’t tell you the truth of my feelings for you. Even if when you read this letter its too late I don’t want you to feel bad for anything that has happened. I want you to know that you made me happy and I will always keep you in my heart.-Sakina
As soon as he finished reading he turns to look at the picture. The girl in the picture was looking at the camera when they took this of her while she was sitting at a desk. She had dark long hair which was down at this time. She was smiling and seemed very happy; Shakir couldn’t believe how sweet and pretty she looked. He stayed there for two hours talking to her about him and at the same time wishing she would talk to him. His father came in search of him and Shakir with all the pain of his heart left her grave.