17 Reasons Why pt. 1 | Teen Ink

17 Reasons Why pt. 1

July 24, 2011
By Jeremiah Buller BRONZE, Moore, Oklahoma
Jeremiah Buller BRONZE, Moore, Oklahoma
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

The light was dim inside the motel room, the only shine coming from the half-open door to the tiny bathroom. There were no amenities on the counter, no sample drinks in the bar. You rent by the hour here and use nothing but the bed and a flimsy sheet that hadn’t seen the inside of the washer since the last manager quit. The only action this place usually saw was at the hands of prostitutes of empty emotion, and nameless Johns with heavy wallets and no moral compass. The walls heard no words but grunts and distasteful names and shouts into the night, but tonight was a different story. A conversation was being carried on by two lovers, holding each other as they lay motionless using the sheet as a barrier between them and the universe.
The woman was tall with a classical elegance to her features. Long auburn hair swept down the sides of her face and fanned out on the pillow behind her. She was in the thirties, yet young and full of zest for life and for her lover.
He was average build with the faintest muscles showing under the skin of his chest and abdomen. Jet black curls crowded into a mess of tangles on top of his head that the woman couldn’t help but run her fingers through. He had compassionate eyes, eyes that looked into a person rather than at them.
“I missed this.” He whispered.
“The sex? Or me? Actually, why am I even asking this?” She chuckled and ran her hand over his jaw.
“Not ENTIRELY the sex, the closeness and the feeling of you next to me. The way you look at me and make me feel like I’ve never been this sure myself. Come to think of it, does that come with practice? Am I going to be able to do that? Cause MAN…!”
She laughed and batted at him with her arms before he caught them and pulled them around his neck. The two looked into each other’s eyes, comfortable with the silence between them.
“You blinked!” She yelled, kissing him on his closed eyelids. “I don’t know how long it is going to be before we can do this again, Jason. Trevor is supposedly done with all business travels until at least New Years.”
“What does your husband have to do with this? We’ve always found ways around him Molly.” Jason quipped.
“I don’t know, he’s been acting strange lately. He’s been bringing me flowers and making dinner reservations instead of ordering in. He’s making serious changes in his life and I don’t know what’s brought them on.” She lamented.
“If I was your husband…..” He started.
“No Jason. Don’t start, please. You know how much I would love for that to be a reality, but a 17 year age difference is a bit much for such formalities. God I just wish he would go back to his wh*res and booze and leave me alone. With you.”
Molly buried her head into Jason’s chest and listened to his heart beat life into the body of her 16 year old lover. She just wished it could beat a stronger and braver life into her own body so that she could be the woman Jason thought he saw in her.
She wasn’t a courageous and daring woman, h*ll, she wasn’t even that free-spirited. She was a selfish coward. Every second he fell more and more in love with her, she fell further and further into pit no rope could reach the base of.


Jason had his head hidden in his arms and had finally managed to keep his snores down to a reasonably quiet level. When the bell screeched and ended third period, he decided to name that day’s math class a success. He’d stayed in the classroom the entire hour, fully conscious or not. His brown backpack was shouldered and he darted out of the room before the Mr. Golding had the chance to see him rub the sleep from his eyes.
He looked forward to this all morning. After third period he had his lunch break that he could spend in the school library with Molly. They couldn’t talk for fear of exposing themselves, but they could steal glances at one another. Rather, he could steal glances at her while she worked. She alphabetized magazines, re-shelved books, researched things on the internet for teachers, normal librarian stuff. He could safely watch her because it wouldn’t exactly be weird for a teenage boy to stare at such a put-together woman. H*ll, it was expected of them! But the time passes too quickly and before he even unpacks his food the hour break is over. His normal routine sets back into place with a quick snooze scheduled during his fourth period biology lecture.

The author's comments:
Feeling for someone who feel unattainable can be excrutiating. Why does it feel so much better when it is 'wrong'?

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