What If?

July 6, 2011
What if?

We were together for 1 year, the best year of my life. I thought everything was perfect and nothing could destroy us. He always said the right things and knew just how to make me feel better. But then things started to change… he wasn’t the same. It was like I was with another person…I did everything I could to fix things but he just didn’t care.

I thought we were just going through a rough patch…that things would get better…but he just grew to become angry. Yelling at me whenever I did something he didn’t like, calling me names and saying I was worthless. Then he just stopped talking to me all together. At least when he was angry I knew he had something still in him but now he doesn’t say anything at all. The only time we were together was at school and I just walked with him in between classes and lunch saying nothing at all.

Then on one particular day he told me to meet him behind the school building. I was so happy that he’d said something to me I didn’t suspect a thing. When I got there he just stood there starring at me.

I asked “What’s going on?”

He said “It’s over.” I thought I was hearing things so I asked him if he could repeat himself.

“I said that it’s over. I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

I felt like I’d just been hit with a bomb…directed straight at my heart. Then everything started to slow down. I didn’t know what to say, what to think. I just stood there starring into his eyes, trying to look for some sign that this wasn’t real. But there wasn’t anything there to look for…he’s eyes were stone cold.

After he realized I couldn’t say anything he said “It’s just not working out anymore.”

I managed to croak out “What happened?” He told me it wasn’t me it was him, that he just didn’t feel the same about me anymore. I couldn’t feel my legs and before I knew it I was dropping to my knees…tears running down my face. I’d tried so hard to make this work, I put up with everything he threw my way. I did it because I loved him and I thought he loved me too. And yet he’s still left me.

After that day he never spoke to me again. He acted like nothing had ever happened between us…I was just another face in the halls. I wonder how he could have gotten over me so fast and I’m still in so much pain. It makes me think, did he ever really love me? Was that year we spent together all fake? Was I imagining all of it?

And then I think back to the time we spent together. I try and figure out where we went wrong, but all I see is true love. And it makes me think if I we had done something different, would we still be together and in love? I guess you could say that people try to see what they want to see but it may not always be what’s really going on.

It makes me wish that I could just tell him again.

I love you…

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

MusicMovement said...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 4:11 pm
I like it!!!!!!
XxAriannaXx replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 4:33 pm
thank you :D
LilLover5-15 said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 7:38 pm
awesome :)
XxAriannaXx replied...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 11:01 pm
thank you :D
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