We met in the back of the high school. I was totally ready for the moment I had been longing for for weeks. A sudden rush of nervousness came over me, something I hadn’t expected. He saw me and gave a sweet smile, and I gave one back that reflected his. We hugged, and his arms continued to stay wrapped around my waist. He slowly pulled me in close, and I sucked in a deep breath of air. My body was pressed against his, my right leg wrapped around his left. I indulged in the fact that we were this close. My body began to feel numb and like it was on fire all at the same time. I looked at his face and saw a gleam come over his eyes. The type of sparkle you only see in movies in the eyes of the perfect guy. My lips touched his, and a surge of electricity bolted through my body. After 4 seconds that felt like a blissful eternity I felt his soft lips start to fade away. The words began to spill out of my mouth, “I love you”. Instant regret. It was too late to take the words back and I was terrified of the power they held. A wave of worry took over my face and I tried to conceal it. He smiled and looked sincerely into my eyes and said it. “I love you too.” I took this as a sign that he couldn’t sense my true feelings, and maybe he would forget that I had ever said the words. I knew I was lying to myself.
May 4, 2011