Who I'm Not

April 16, 2011
There is a boy. Isn’t there always? This boy is different though, he is so vain, yet so modest, so gorgeous, but perfectly offset so he doesn’t look like a statue of a Greek god. He is amazing, he is funny, he is kind, and he is hers. Of course, we are friends so I talk to him every day and I have to pretend that I am happy for him and my best friend. Yes, my best friend is dating the boy I have been in love with since the third grade. I have to force a smile on my face and an agreement to my lips whenever she asks me “Isn’t he perfect?” or “Aren’t we just amazing together?” He is a boy that you would never expect her to like, he hangs out with the people who aren’t popular, but also aren’t complete nerds. People like me. She is popular, bleach blond, tan, skinny, and athletic.
Our relationship hangs by a thread, even though Kali and I have been friends since kindergarten. She knew that I loved him, buy yet when he asked her to homecoming freshman year she said yes. Right in front of my face. And I haven’t told her just how much it hurts to see them standing together, laughing in my face, smiling at their love that I don’t get to share. Because now instead of hanging out with me, she’s with him, and now, instead of talking to me, he talks to her. Before I was able to sit in my daydreams and hope that one day he would ask me out, and that someday we would date and it would be wonderful. Now every time I look at her I see the things that I am not, skinny, blonde, athletic. Yet I am my own person, I am not a girl who conforms, I am not a girl who dyes my hair blonde to look more attractive, I am not a girl who goes tanning just to make the boys follow me like moths to a light. I am the type of person who will love someone for who they are not what they look like, so now I know the girl’s a b****, the boys still amazing, but I will keep on living, and keep on loving, with or without them.

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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

nikkigonefishin said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 1:12 pm
This is AWESOME! I especially liked the end because it reflects what I believe in; that no matter what the circumstance is you always" keep on living, and keep on loving, with or without them."
secretlypoetic replied...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 9:46 pm
Thanks! I really appreciate your comment!
Hammi said...
Apr. 24, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Really good, is it based on truth???
secretlypoetic replied...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Well, partially yes, but partially no if you know what I mean. My best friend and I are totally grown apart, and she was dating a guy that I liked, when I write I always add more drama :D
Ailse said...
Apr. 22, 2011 at 9:48 pm

love it:)


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