The Kiss

March 9, 2011
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For my Fairy

“You've been really quiet lately.” she said looking at me. I bit down on my lip, a nervous habit I had recently developed. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no. I'm fine.” I said hurriedly, lest she suspect.
"Okay." she said quietly, looking down.

We sat in silence for a while, me observing her stealthily out of the corner of my eye. The sunlight glinting off her chestnut-colored curls. Her shining hazel-green eyes that seemed to look into my very soul. She was beautiful. Full of light. It shone through her eyes and blinded me when she smiled. I've known her for years, ever since she moved a few blocks away in seventh grade. She was two years older than me, my role model. I looked up to her. Then one summer it changed. We hung out together all summer- her, me, my best friend (and her sister), and another boy in our neighborhood. And I found myself thinking about her more and more often.


"Wanna hang out?" She said when she called my house. "We're bored. Everyone else is already over here."
"Sure!" I replied. "I'll be right there."
"Bring a swimsuit." she said. "We might go swimming later."

We hung out the whole day, watching TV, laughing, joking, eating. Lately, I had been gravitating towards her, always looking at her, listening to her, but it didn't really register. Eventually we got bored, and decided to go swimming. The cool water felt nice in the hot day. We swam for a couple hours until it was getting towards evening. The sun was setting in the west, and the half-moon had just risen in the dark blue sky. Floating on my back, I gazed dreamily at the sky, enjoying the few special minutes of the day when the sun and the moon are both up and the air has a hint of night. It felt magical.

I looked over to my friends on the raft in the lake. She was kneeling on the right, back to the sun. Our friend was standing on the left with his back to the moon. They were talking and laughing. I suddenly saw herwith new eyes. The setting sun's rays outlined her in a halo of gold. Her curls hung long and wet down her back. Her eyes sparkled and her smile shone. The water droplets on her face and hair reflected the rays of the sun, glittering and sparkling. The she stood and jumped off the raft. She seemed to hang in the air, made of light. The sun's rays around her looked like wings. She was a fairy, an angel- my fairy, my angel. And in that moment, I realized it- I loved her.

--End Flashback--

I continued looking at her out of the corner of my eye, thoughts turned her way.She was stubborn and blunt and never afraid to tell someone what she thought. She was fierce and loyal and sometimes scared me to death. She always seemed to know if I was sad or angry and be there for me. She opened your eyes to the truth. Spending time with her always made me so happy, and being away was torture. I loved her. I loved her.

"Have you ever loved anyone?" She asked suddenly. Yes, my heart whispered. You. "I guess." I said, trying to keep my voice even.
"What was it like?" she whispered.
"It was wonderful. Being around them- it's like... it's like seeing the world for the first time. Everything's brighter, more clear. They make you happy. They make your heart pound and it's hard to breath and sometimes when you try to talk you stutter and nothing comes out right. It's the best thing in the world." My teeth worried at my lip as I looked at her, waiting for an answer.

"It sounds nice." she finally said.
"Sometimes." I replied.
"Sometimes I think I'm in love. But the person... doesn't know. And I don't know if I could... I just love h-the much..." she trailed off. I didn't speak, I didn't trust myself to, it was too close to what I felt for her.

Suddenly she stood up, and turned to me suddenly. "What should I do? I don't know! I'm so confused and then the person I like comes and I can't think and I want to tell them..." My teeth bit deep furrows in my lip. What if- what if if- she felt the same? "What- what would you say if I told you... that the person I love-- it's-- it's--" She drew closer, almost uncomfortably close. And then it happened. My teeth bit down through the final layer of skin and I tasted the metallic tang of blood.

She was closer now, her beautiful eyes locked on mine and then flicking down to my lips. Almost in slow motion she bent her head and pressed her lips to mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I kissed her back. Her lips were soft and warm and sent tingles through my body in the most pleasant way. Her tongue flicked out and ran along my bottom lip. And then I remembered- wait... aren't I bleeding? I pulled back and looked at her, her wild eyes, her beautiful mouth rosy with blood. My blood.

"Oh god. Oh god. I'm so sorry." She spoke frantically. "It's just the blood- it was suddenly there and I couldn't- oh god I'm so sorry I didn't mean to kiss you, I just wanted the blood!" Her eyes searched mine worriedly. I realized tears were running down my face.

"I'm so sorry! I- you know I don't like you like that. I- I just couldn't stop myself. It's just the blood. I'm super sorry! Please forgive me!" She ran a hand through her hair.

"Just the blood?" I whispered. "Just the blood?" Louder now. "You- you- you kissed me and all you wanted was the blood? After- after everything-- don't you realize? It was you! All along it was you! It was you I was talking about back there, you make me happy, you make my heart pound and my lungs not work and my mouth fail. It's always been you. I love you, can't you see that? I have loved you for years. I have been through so much pain and longing to tell you but I was so afraid and then you kiss me and it was the most wonderful thing and all you wanted was the blood!" My voice cracked. I was crying violently now. I couldn't believe it could hurt so bad. Her words echoed in my head I don't like you like that....not you. It hurt so bad...

"No... no..." was the only thing she said before I was walking away, tears blurring my eyes so I couldn't see. All I could think about was her. Times she made me laugh, times I cried over her, memories of dancing and singing and laughing and fighting and hugging and her beautiful face and the kiss...

The kiss... that broke my heart.

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