Get Back Up

January 30, 2011
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"Double tongue those sixteenth notes, please." Freshman year, in a varsity band is quite a challenge. My junior classmate plays same instrument I do, so he volunteers to help out. He has small. glistening brown eyes, beautiful, cheesy smile, with not so perfect, small, teeth, that somehow makes my heart melt. Like any other freshman, I fell for an upperclassmen. We had district auditions in a 2 hour away town, which gave me the chance to get to know him better. About an hour before competition, he sat next to me, which unconsciously made me bat my eyelashes at him. He wasn't the perfect crush, with a strand of hair falling across his forehead, not a perfect body nor skin either, yet it still made my stomach flip of excitement every time I saw him. Many people thought I was crazy, yet I knew I was just quite crazy for him. As I laid my head in the table, with eyes closed, due to exhaustion, he spoke to me softly, and started stroking my cheek. It made me feel beautiful, special. I was drifting into sleep, and i felt him stroking my lips, as his voice,rang in my ears like jazz music. My daydreaming session was interrupted by his voice low and soft, "Hey, wake up." As I opened my eyes there he was a few inches away from my face, our noses almost touching. He leaned in, as I thought, "He's finally making a move!". He was about to kiss me, but I turned slightly away from him so he wouldn't do it, then he started apologizing dramatically. "Chill, it's okay." I went back to facing him, not much later, we were talking again, his soft, sweet soothing voice ringing in my ears. He leaned in to kiss me again, this time I didn't turn away, because I had totally been looking forward to this. He kissed me. Soft at first then a quick kiss at the end. It was cute, it was extremely sweet. It made me feel like flying, my smile was from ear to ear, extremely wide. He stared at me and said you're beautiful. A freshman couldn't be any happier. The campus we were competing in was huge, so we could walk around and nobody would notice. As I thought this, he asked, "Do you want to go for a walk?" "Sure, let's go." We found a place, and he kissed me tenderly. about 20 minutes later we were called for competition. Afterwards we went back to it. Of course most of you reading this would believe we are now dating, yet we aren't. I thought it would happen too, because I also did something I'm not quite proud of, yet the situation didn't turn out how I wanted it to. Of course, I was just used because he was bored. This was horrible of course, when I had to go back to school and face him. I thought only he and I would know what had happened, yet we soon found out that somebody had seen, and told half the band, which told one-quarter of the whole school. As I would walk from class to class in school, I would hear those horrible whispers, of nasty, disgusting words. The boy went and hooked up with some other girl. I would like to regret everything that happened, yet I really don't. Without those mistakes I wouldn't have learned anything. I've been told that when life brings you down just get back up. It's easily said, but quite hard to be done. This happened almost 3 months ago. I'm starting to get over it. I now say, if life makes you fall, get back up, and all you'll have of memory is scars on your knees. Scars that will be left in your heart and soul, but won't quite hurt you anymore.

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krackle;D said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 10:46 pm
I love this thats so sad :/ but you should know that he's such a jerk and doesn't deserve you :P you should know who I am. :D ;D
Cristinaa replied...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 10:05 pm
hahahah thanks..
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