The Love Chapter (Prologue)

September 20, 2010
By sweetly_broken GOLD, Garner, North Carolina
sweetly_broken GOLD, Garner, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
We never know how big we are until we are asked to rise.


?Prologue


It’s been five years now, but I haven’t fulfilled my promise to him. I can’t until
I let go, but I’m not emotionally prepared to do so. I tread along a frosty path,
finding alleviation in the fact that he is still lingering behind me. I gaze helplessly
into the austere winter sky; its desolate color matches the palate of my emotions. The
sun is just beginning to rise in the distance; a pallid beacon of light is erupting from
behind a cluster of threatening clouds in the horizon. In the same way, there is a
faint beacon of light still glimmering inside of me. As I twiddle the withered golden
rose through my frostbitten fingers, tears flood to my weary eyes once again. I am
recollecting his appearance. He wasn’t the most striking character in the eyes of the
world, but to me he was . . . beautiful I suppose, for lack of a better adjective. His
shaggy auburn hair was often tasseled by the gentle winds of our small town. The
Tennessee sun would frequently gleam on his porcelain skin just so it would reflect a
slight luminescent glow. William had little muscle, but the feel of our fingers
interlocking was so potent and seemingly inseparable. His pearly white teeth, which
were being aligned by braces were always sprinkled with rubber bands of cobalt blue,
his favorite color, and lime green, mine. I can almost smell the aroma of his Hollister
cologne wafting up my nose, sending warm sensations down my spine. It’s almost
like I can touch him even though he isn’t really here.

The tears are flowing steadily now.

Although my vision is blurry, I make my way to a lofty oak tree and crouch
beneath it. The winding path I’m on continues to the spot that I still have trouble
facing. I place my trembling fingers on the left pocket and feel the words in the note
that is protruding. I’ve read it over and over again, but its compelling message still
prompts me and stirs the innermost depths of my debilitated soul. I told my friends
and family that I’d be leaving town early in the morning, but only my closest
friends know my actual whereabouts. I run my fingers through my knotty hair not
wanting to remember, but not daring to forget.

Everything runs through my head one more time- Lance, the dream, our first
date, the ten questions, forgiveness, the promises we made to each other, New Year’s
eve, the note, and most painfully- love. Who are we as weak humans to be given such
a powerful gift? I know the answer is simple, but so profound at the same time;
ironically, the human mind can’t comprehend it.

I learned a powerful lesson a few years ago; love triumphs over all weakness,
fear and confusion. I made a promise that I would teach that lesson to someone else,
and I strongly intend to keep it, no matter what adversity it inflicts while I’m here on
earth. Indeed, the promise of love is powerful enough to heal any suffering it causes.
The promise it brings, and the promise I made to him beat prominently inside of me
as church bells echo into the tranquil scene of dawn breaking in the distance.


The author's comments:
"I was walking home one day and the fact that love is the most powerful force on earth just kind of washed over me in that one moment. As I weaved together this story, my primary goal was to demonstrate that. While perhaps not evident here, I'm hoping that this won't be your typical romance."

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This article has 8 comments.


on Nov. 29 2010 at 5:43 pm
Eer320 PLATINUM, S. China, Maine
20 articles 4 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, hey girl, magenta! and she's like, oh, you mean purple! and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, no - I want magenta!"

It was pretty good!  You had really big vocabulary, and I don't know if that's good or bad.  But I liked your characters.  Nice job!  :D

on Sep. 23 2010 at 6:54 pm
unlike-azazual SILVER, Navarre, Florida
5 articles 6 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
all of a sudden a distant voice became lound and when i was conviced it was the devils tounge cerassing my ear it turned out to be the musical voice of an angel.

oh my gosh i love it....especially the discription of everything....you definantly need to write more....;)

on Sep. 22 2010 at 1:31 pm
sweetly_broken GOLD, Garner, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
We never know how big we are until we are asked to rise.

i agree with what you're saying, however this takes place five years after she last saw her boyfriend, and you learn later in the story that she goes of to college to major in english to be a high school english teacher, and i don't know about you, but my english teacher uses some pretty big words. thanks for your advice on description though:)

on Sep. 21 2010 at 11:37 pm
Amzzinator BRONZE, Thousand Oaks, California
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." -Marilyn Monroe

Great job! I like the premise, but I believe there's a tad bit of a glitch in your phrasing. Perhaps you should consider toning down your descriptive language and all the big words-- while descriptive words can be excellent, they feel a bit forced in this piece. Try rewriting in the way you actually speak-- are those words you would use? Your main character/narrator sounds to me like a younger person, and as such, she should use vocabulary that fits her.

Also, you might want to pay a bit more attention to the way it sounds, time-period wise. To me, the beginning sounds a little dated, like it's not from a modern time period-- but then you mention "Hollister," and that threw me. Could be just me, but it feels like the language you have used makes it sound more like a piece written in an older time period, whereas later on, it sounds more modern. I dunno, that could be just me. ;)

Great job! Keep going. :)


on Sep. 21 2010 at 9:53 pm
sweetly_broken GOLD, Garner, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
We never know how big we are until we are asked to rise.

Thanks, and sure!

on Sep. 21 2010 at 9:48 pm
Shannon_D BRONZE, Willis, Texas
1 article 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them." -Nathaniel Hawthorne

Oh and if you don't mind, I have a story posted on the forums ^.^

on Sep. 21 2010 at 9:38 pm
Shannon_D BRONZE, Willis, Texas
1 article 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them." -Nathaniel Hawthorne

You are on the right track! Great beginning! I could definitely feel the overwhelming emotions. But as kao-chanu said, it needs to be simplified a bit. But don't be discouraged! Keep going because I want to keep reading!!!

on Sep. 21 2010 at 7:20 pm
kao-chanu SILVER, Central, Utah
7 articles 1 photo 51 comments

hmm i like the idea, but i found myself uninterested at times. i hate to say it but in the begining you used a bit to much description and i couldnt picture it all. it was good, so ill give it a 4. with some more editing, and a tinsie bit of rethinking, it could be 5 material. good job though!

:) keep writing.



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