Love and Life

September 16, 2010
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It was like waking in a dream.


This was the only comparison Hayden could create, the only thing even remotely close to what she was feeling inside. And even a dream, it seemed, even the best dream imaginable, couldn’t fully explain the extent of her current emotions. Indeed, it seemed as if these emotions could never be fully expressed in any way. They were only inside of her, and nobody else would ever really understand the depth of her feelings.


Well, nobody except the man lying beside her.


He was such a remarkable creature, and it seemed to Hayden that he could not possibly exist, not in this reality. But he did, in the form of a terrible monster, a creature of solitude trapped within the bindings of human flesh.


They were a lot alike, Hayden and Jason. They both came from the same race, from the same mold. Both of them had been reborn from the ashes of their previous lives, destined to be something greater than they had originally anticipated. And they had both loved beyond belief, beyond the veils of rationality to discover something unbelievable. They had both chosen to be here tonight. They had both chosen to be together.


“Are you awake?”


It was merely a whisper in the dark, but Hayden knew that voice well and she smiled, rolling over on her stomach to face her lover. He returned the smile in a bleary manner, attempting to rub the sleep from his tired eyes. His handsome face was still animated by the tidbits of the dreams that had just faded, and he attempted to open his eyes completely, only to be defeated by the remaining grains of sleep.


“Get some rest,” Hayden whispered, raising a hand to cup his soft cheek, “We can talk in the morning.”


He shook his head, gesturing for her to come closer. She responded with no reluctance, crawling into his arms and pressing her face against his side. The warmth of his body invaded her senses and for a moment, it had seemed as if something inside her had shifted.


But it had been nothing more than the stuttering of her heart, almost painful at first, and after a moment, an inescapable need fell upon her. She wanted to be closer. Her body was craving his touch, tempting her to irrationality and all at once, as she lay there beside him, it went beyond lust and it went beyond want. Yes, it had become something much more than that. She needed him. There was no other way to describe it.


“I know, baby.” He had already sensed her distress, slipping onto his side. He pressed her to his chest as their legs intertwined, pulling them closer together. She wound her arms around his waist, squeezing gently and he gratefully returned the pressure.


She had been in a place similar to this before. Her virginity had been lost a long time ago, in her earlier teenage years, and she had thought, only a few short months ago, that she had it all figured out. Life and love had all made perfect sense to her, and she had believed she was done that there was nothing else to feel, that there was nothing else in this world to experience.


But she had been wrong.


It all seemed so absurdly foolish to her now. She had loved him, the father of her child, but she had never known something greater, something solid and something real. Not until now.


Her feelings went beyond love, beyond need, and beyond want. It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t rational. But somehow, it was true. And in an instant, she realized the truth. She would no longer be able to live without the man pressed against her. He was now a part of her, and she could not function while a piece of herself was missing.


He was the one, the only being she could spend her life with, for the rest of eternity.


“I love you, Hayden.” His voice was harsh, raw with emotion as if he had just heard and understood her every thought. She gently kissed his lips before answering, speaking the words that she knew to be accurate, and that would have to be expressed in some way, even if it would never quite be enough.


“I love you too.”





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