What is taken by Love

August 2, 2010
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I watched as the alarm clock on my night stand go from 10:59 to 11:00. I sat up on my warm bed, gazing out the window and the starry night sky. I could hear the wind blowing anxious down the street. I wrapped myself within my blankets and held them tightly in my grip. It was so cold. I shut off my light and put my head under the covers.

I hated nights like this. Drowning in loneliness, having no where to go. Being the new girl in town is something you’d expect, right? But I have been living her since I was 2. The town is nothing special. The best thing we have would be the drugs, and the highest teen pregnancy rate. But enough of all that good stuff.

I could hear the television of my mothers room shut off. There was a clunk on my ceiling. The strong winds bellowed out my window. And then there was silence. I took the covers off my head and looked at the red numbers beaming back at me; 11:02. Those two minutes seemed to have been an hour.

In the red light I could see the pictures of me and my friends outside of my old middle school. Under that was my old journal from the 5th grade. Bubble gum wrappers were piled up in the corner of the nightstand. I turned my head towards the ceiling and tried to get some rest.


I flung my eyes open suddenly. I turned to my right to check the time; 11:29. My eyes were wide awake by the sound. There was a chill in the air. In the steady darkness, I could see my curtains flying around my room. I threw off my blankets and went to go shut the window.

“Mom?” I said in some sort of whisper. She didn’t answer. After closing the window I went down stairs to check the locks on the front door. I came back, and went back into bed.

There was no way I could go back to sleep. I stayed up for fifteen minutes until my eyes started to grow weaker and weaker by every second. The air around me was warm and soft. I wish I could leave this place, I thought To somewhere far away…

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I opened my eyes weakly, wishing I wasn’t being disturbed. My vision was blurry, a shape was forming on next to me. I blinked quickly, watching my eyes come to focus. Rain was falling on the windows outside fiercely. The wind was still whistling. The heat in my body was soothing and relaxing. I closed my eyes and opened them again slowly.

A cool sensation was forming in my stomach. You know, that feeling when you were a kid and you got on a big roller coaster and its about to fall 100 feet? Yes, that was the feeling. I leaned over the familiar face to turn on the light. This couldn’t be! I thought No, this just couldn’t be.

I was swallowing my words. It was that face. That face I knew, that face that was so loving, so gentle. That face I would live and die for. That face I uncontrollably loved. I touched his face in an act of astonishment. And gasped. It was him. It was Clark.

His smoky gray eyes were connected with mine. His pale hand touched the one that was on his face and kissed it. Clark’s smooth lips contracted all the heat from my body to my cheeks. Clark was the first one to speak, before I could even find my words.

“Hey,” His long deep voice was what made me go weak at the knees every time “Miss me?”

I was still struck by the appearance of Clark. The question was lingering in my head. The heat of the room faded a little, as the storm outside eased up a bit. The wind still blowing harshly.

What do you say to some one who has disappeared for 2 years?

“Clark,” I said slowly, my mind scrambled with thoughts. Everything just came out abruptly, “Where have you been? Your parents and everyone else thought you were dead? And so did I! Do you know how it feels for everyone to feel sad for you, because you were the girlfriend of the boy who disappeared . I was really worried about you! Am I dreaming? Is this all a big joke, huh? Why are you smiling? This isn’t funny! I-”

In a quick second, I stopped babbling and felt Clark’s cool lips on mine. In only two minutes you can feel every emotion God created ; love, hate, happiness, and sadness. In one kiss, you can feel a whole other world. This shouldn’t be a dream. It couldn’t be. It was to real. The way his hands touched me wasn’t fake. Clark pulled away from me and spoke.

“I missed your babbling,” he said with a chuckle “ I need you too come with me.”

I put my hands in his, kissed him, and said “Whatever it takes.”

Clark got up from the bed as well as I did. He was wearing all black and a navy blue trench coat. He opened the window and let out the cold air. I felt a bit stupid, only wearing pink shorts and a white tank top. Clark threw his trench coat over me, and took me in his arms. He crouched through the frame of the window. He was not wearing anything under the trench coat. His marble body was perfect and slender. Clark jumped from the second floor. I closed my eyes in fear and then opened them when I didn’t feel the ground.

All around me was the starry sky. The wind was running wildly, and the rain stopped. I held Clark tightly around his chest, behind him was his large golden wings. I was amazed by him. At this point, I wanted nothing more than to be with him. He was beautiful and selfless. He actually meant something to me. Clark looked back down at me and smiled. I felt us falling slowly back to ground.

We were surrounded by millions of trees and bushes. The grass was wet by the rain and the smell of pine was in the air. I held tightly onto Clark’s arm. In the enormous clearing, there was only him and I.

“What is this place?” I asked

“A forest just outside New Haven,” Clark answered a few seconds later, gripping back at my hands. “I live here now. This is my home.”

I chuckled. “Why? Can’t you just go home?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” he was talking more angrily now. Clark walked away forward into the center of the clearing. His hands turned into shaking fists.

“Clark, what’s wrong?” I stepped closer to him, and touched his shoulder. He turned around and spoke.

“I have to tell you something.”

“Okay. Tell me.”

“I can’t.”

“And why not?”

“ I will tell you. Just promise,” Clark sighed . “That you won’t be afraid.”

I looked at Clark with a confused look on my face. Was whatever he was going to tell me, be that bad?

I gritted my teeth together and said “I promise.”

Clark sighed and looked down at his feet than back at me. His dark hair glided gently with the wind. Within the darkness of the night, it started to rain softly.

“ I am not the same guy that I was before. The night that I… disappeared…I was killed. Some guy, from school, saw me walking home from practice, and he shot me. He dragged me into a ditch and left me there to die. Then someone found me, and brought me here. And I survived. That person changed me…and now I am what I am.”

I was too afraid to ask the question. My hands were shaking on my sides. I swallowed my fear and said, “S-So what are you?”

“A vampire.”

Time felt like it had been passing slowly. I didn’t even understand the feeling that was in me. My mouth grew dry and I was afraid to even be here. I backed away slowly, my hands shaking in the Clark’s coat. I was afraid. More than I ever was in my life. Did Clark bring me here to kill me?

“ I got to g-go.” I turned around and walked closer into the bushes.

“No!” Clark exclaimed “Don’t leave!”

I stopped in my tracks. Feeling cemented in the ground. I turned towards him. I blinked, and felt his arms glide around my waist.

“I have been alone for so long. I need you…Jessica….I love you..” he kissed me. It wasn’t just a soft peck, but meant so much more. I felt something in that kiss. Something no one has ever felt before. I did not want this to end.

Clark picked me up and moved quickly into the trees. I pulled away from him, and saw the grass look like green water. I put my hands on his face. His eyes weren’t the same. They were a pitch black, but within the darkness there was a love no one could compare with. It was his love.

I heard the rushing of water by my feet. Clark sat me on a large boulder. The night was turning a dark purple. It was beautiful.

“ I need you to see something,” Clark said looking into the water.

“What is-Oh my God,” Something was lying sullenly in there. My eyes strained to see what it was. And then it was clear. Within that water lied Clark’s body. His bare chest was gray and weak. His eyes were closed shut and his lips were in a thin line. Clark’s hair was flowing within the water. I looked back to the alive one in front of me and spoke, “What is this?”

“Its my old body. When you take the form of a vampire you must shed your old one.”

“I don’t think I can do this,” I said shaking my head.

“You, can,”

“Clark, I don’t think I am ready to leave this world.” I started speaking, words just falling out my mouth. “I want to be with you. Its just….what about my family? What about everything else. You didn’t have a choice.”

There was silence.

I didn’t not know what I was going to do. It was my choice. I felt like I was that kid again. Stuck on the 100 feet roller coaster. Looking at the world below. Thinking to yourself, what will this do to everyone who loves me. Clark loves me with all his heart, and I would love him for the rest of my life. This was it. I had to make a decision.

“Wait,” I said getting up from the rock. “Do you promise that you wont ever leave me again?”

Clark turned and said, “I promise.”

I walked over to him, my heart beating a bit faster. I put my hands on his chest and stared deeply into his eyes, “What will you do that won’t make you stop loving me?”

“Whatever it takes,”

I put my head to his chest. “You have a heartbeat.”

“That’s not mine,” Clark said softly, brushing my hair “Its yours. I am apart of you. And you are apart of me.”

“How lovely,” I said smiling.

“Are you ready?”

I laid on the wet grasses and stared blankly at the starry purple sky. The clouds parted and the moon was reflected greatly in my eyes. The wind blew softly around me. Like when I was flying with Clark. I took off his trench coat and closed my eyes. In seconds, I felt his cool breathe on mine. I opened my eyes to look at him once more. And I told him I loved him. I closed my eyes and didn’t bare to watch.

This was what death felt like. I was trapped in this pain. I tried to move away from it, but it was no use. The excruciating pain was all through my body. My lungs started to feel like someone lit them on fire. I tried to scream; my throat was aflame as well. And then in a miraculous moment, it was gone. I opened my eyes. And nothing was the same.

I was back by the flowing water. There was no sky I could see, fog was surrounding me. Clark was not there, I didn’t see or hear him. I stood up in to the fog. It was not cool nor warm.

“Hello?” My voice echoed throughout the forest.

I heard a snap of a twig behind me, I turned around quickly. No one was there. I had that same feeling as I did when I was in bed. The loneliness lingering all around me, the smell of fear trapping me. I felt the tears streaming from my eyes; I was dead. I fell on to the soft grass, my knees digging into the earth. My hands clenched my chest as I wept. Someone started to approach me from the bushes.

I looked around to see my mother standing there between two trees. She walked towards me and grinned down at me. My mother laid her hand in front of me. I took it and got up from the ground.

“Mom?” I said weakly.

She stared at me with a smile on her face. She touched my tear stained cheek. Her touch was not the same. Not the same loving touch and helpful hello, but a goodbye. I looked at her and watched the tears fall from her eyes. She knew I was dead. My mother hugged me tightly and spoke in a whisper.

“I w-won’t forget you,” She brushed back my hair, “My sweet angel.”

“I-I l-love y-you Mom,” I replied “I….I…”

Before I could even get my thoughts out, she became part of the vapor. I didn’t want her to leave. She knew what was going on. I loved her so much. My brother and I were all my mother had. This was a bad decision. A wrong choice. I didn’t live to say goodbye, but died in the process. I looked back at the flowing water and saw Clark standing on the other side.

He was looking down at the water before him. I called out to him a few times, but he didn’t answer. The fog was spreading more and more. It was harder to see. Clark looked over to me but didn’t speak a word. He turned back around and walked through the trees. Who was he?

Clark had killed me, he had no control. It was all a joke. Being a vampire, changing me into one. Maybe he wanted me dead. He knew I was alone, so he killed me to be with me. Or I am just dreaming. All this is just a twisted nightmare that I will soon be waking up from at any moment. But nothing felt more real than that kiss I had in my bed with Clark. It was…magical. It was real.

Now I was alone again. I looked around and felt the cool sensation of fear swallow me whole. I sat on top of the boulder. I looked into the water. The fog made an opening for me to see clearly now. And that’s when I noticed that I was not alone. I saw Clark’s old body, gray and weak. His body standing still within the water. And next to him I saw me.

My body non moving either. My hair was dancing around within the water. My skin was all white, my eyes closed as if I were asleep. The fog started to disappeared and it was easier was to see. I looked closer and closer. My real body was shivering, and the tank top and shorts weren’t helping. I was breathing harder and harder. I saw the coolness of my breath.

Wind was blowing wildly. My hair was coming at my face. The tears dried quickly. I couldn’t stand this place. I wanted to just go home. Wake up in bed and forget the whole thing. Why did he have to come into my life? Why did Clark persuade me to change into vampire? It was just stupid. I closed my eyes and just drifted. I felt myself falling into darkness.

I didn’t care about anything else. Life was nothing but a glint of sunlight on a rainy day. Its not there, and you can’t see it. Clark did love me, but possibly didn’t want me. I loved him so much that I let him kill me. But I regret every second. And for the final time, I tried opening my eyes.

I heard someone call my name. There was heat surrounding me. I felt like if I were covered in warm blankets. I saw a face reappearing in my eyes. There was an unsteadiness in my head. I didn’t not feel the same. I felt someone’s cool breath on me. Everything came into focus; Clark was laying next to me in my own bed.

“Wha- What’s going on?” I whispered. “What happened?”

“I transformed you.”

“And now I am…”

“A vampire, yes.” Clark smiled at me and came close to kiss me, but I backed away. “What’s wrong?”

“Why?” was all I could say. “Why did you do this to me?”

At this moment I thought I would feel the rushing of my tears on my cheeks. I put my hands on my face, and felt nothing. No water falling from eyes. There was a tightness in my chest. Throbbing and growing with anger and fear. Clark threw his arms around me as I yelled into his chest.

I didn’t want to be near this…this….freak. But I loved this freak, this stupid freak. I loved him more than anything in the world. He had left the world, but came back for me. I moved away from his chest, as he took my wrists.

“There’s no turning back, Jess. You know that,” he whispered. “We must go,”

“No,” I said quickly. “I can stay in bed and leave at night. There’s night classes I can go to. I can tell my mom that I am sick. She can believe me!”

Clark shook his head. “We can’t be with humans. Its too dangerous. You’re too dangerous.”

“I’m too dangerous?” I said

“Yes,” Clark answered “You are a new born. New borns have no control.”

I sat there, gritting my teeth. “Well, I could at least say goodbye, right?”

“Well…yes.” Clark said.

I threw the blankets off of me and saw that I was wearing different clothes; dark jeans and Clark‘s trench coat. I started walking towards my mothers room at the end of the hallway. The socks I was wearing muffled my footsteps. Even though I was immortal I could tell that the way my hands were shaking that I was nervous.

I opened the door to my mothers room. Clark didn’t know what he was talking about. I was not dangerous, I was completely normal. I was fine. My mother was just lying there. Her body wrapped in sheets. Next to her was my 3year old brother, Cody. There was something in the room with me. Pounding in the walls. I cleared my voice and spoke.

“I know you probably….you probably….c-can’t hear me,” I said staggering, feeling a little warm. “Th…this is goodbye.”

I stepped closer and leaned in to kiss her, and felt this weird sensation in my stomach. A voice in my head told me to move as fast as I can, and another said to get closer. When I was 3 inches away from her face, I noticed the pounding in the walls were her heartbeat. And Clark, who mostly isn’t right all the time, was right. I had lost control.

I wanted nothing more then her blood dripping down my throat. On my hands, in my mouth. Everywhere. Like a weird obsession to chocolate or sweets. This was my drug…it would be all mine.

“No!” Clark yelled.

I didn’t care if he was there. I just wanted that warm blood in my mouth. Swirling and falling into the pit of my stomach. I tried to touch my mother and Clark forced me out of the way. I heard the glass shatter as we were falling towards the in ground pool. Clark pulled out his wings and flew fast. I blinked rapidly, the hungry sensation quickly evaporated.

I knew this wasn’t a dream. A silly joke he would tell his friends. This was life. I was a vampire, and I couldn’t change that. I had no control over my emotions, or anything for that matter. In the morning, my mother would wake up and see that I am gone. This new world that I was living in would be scary. But being with Clark, would make things easier and different. We had an undying love for one another.
I looked up at Clark and saw him smiling back at me, his golden wings flapping graciously. I kissed him and felt that soothing feeling again. This world would be great with him. Clark was the only guy for me. We would live wonderfully together. Within each others arms all of the day. We slowly came back to earth, as the sun began to rise. And this was the first day….of forever.


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