My Mysterious Man

June 7, 2010
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We stepped in to the pouring rain hand in hand. I was so nervous it was like I had butterflies in my stomach.(Idiom) I was wearing my red high heels with my short black dress.(appearance) He was wearing his best black tuxedo. He would stare at me like I was the best thing in the world. I glanced back through the pouring rain and noticed the seat where he unexpectedly proposed to me.

I was sitting at my beach house in Spain staring out the window at the beautiful ocean sky. I suddenly noticed a man walking down the beach. I began to ponder about what I would say if I talked to him.(action verb) My mind began to go in a million directions. I was trying to decide whether I wanted to go talk to him or stay by the window.

The next thing I knew, I was running down the beach after my mysterious man.(action) The closer I got the more handsome he got. As he came to a stop I began to slow down. He started to turn around, I was trying to think if I should stay and talk to him, or turn and run away.

As my mind, a furious monster of thoughts, began to fill with questions, the mysterious man said, “Hello, do you need me for something?”

My mind was blank, then all of a sudden, it flew right out of my mouth, “I couldn't help but wonder if you were doing anything tonight,” I said with curiosity in my eyes.

“I must say, you are one of the bravest women, chasing me down the beach to ask me on a date,” he said chuckling. “Yes, I will be attending a special occasion with you tonight. But first, you must tell me your name,” he said with a large grin on his face.

“My name April Springfield, what is your name?” I asked nervously.

“My name is Orlando Beckham,” he said. “So...I'll pick you up around 8ish,” he declared.

“That would be fantastic, we can got to Olive Garden for dinner,” I said.

Then he said that he had to go. I also had to leave to get ready for my date. As I walked into my beach house, my pet baby turtle, Edward, turned to look at me. He gave me a sort of where-have-you-been kind of look.

I ran up the stairs into my bedroom. I walked into my closet and looked at all of my dresses to see which one he would enjoy. I finally decided that I would wear my black, Kelly Zahrai designer dress with my red high heels. It was only 7 so I could prance around my house just to get some of my energy out of my system. I dressed quickly and went into the bathroom to start making my hair look fantastic.

It must have taken me 45 minutes to make my hair just how I wanted it to be. I had just enough time to put on my make-up and run down the stairs to see Orlando getting out of his Mustang. I walked into my kitchen and grabbed my purse. Orlando rang the doorbell and I hurried to go and get the door.

The door swung open, I must not know my own strength. The second Orlando took one glance at me he said, “You look gorgeous!”

I quickly said, “Thank you,” and stepped outside to close the door behind me.

Orlando opened my car door and I sat down in the car. He quickly ran around to the other side of the car to get in. He finally got in and turned on the car. I was not nervous due to the fact that we had recently talked.

As soon as we got into the parking lot we found a parking spot. He turned off the car and got out to come and open my car door. I stepped out of the car and walked with Orlando to the entrance. We stepped into Olive Garden, I could smell the Alfredo sauce in the air, I heard many people talking, the waitresses were all carrying plates, and I felt Orlando's warm hand grasping my right hand.(Specific details for effect)

We walked up to the desk and Orlando said, “Reservation for Beckham.” The woman looked down for a few seconds. When she looked back up she said right this way, and started walking. We turned a corner and all that I saw were red candles and roses. We were the only ones in that room.

The waitress set down our menus at the one rose covered table. I looked at Orlando and he had a gorgeous smile on his face. I couldn't help but smile back. Orlando unlatched his hand from mine and pulled my chair out from the table so I could sit in it.(participle) Hands shaking by the sides of my black dress, I sat down in the comfortable chair.

“Do you want to share a meal? They seem quite large,” I said.

“That would be delightful. I think that we should have the chicken Alfredo,” he said back.

The next thing I knew we had the plate of pasta sitting in front of our faces. The delicious pasta, filling and chewy, looked so good.(adjectives shifted out of order) So, I picked up my fork and got a noodle. The noodle that I got was the same one as Orlando. We both ate it until there was about 3 inches left. It was like Lady and The Tramp, but without dogs.(humor)

We had finally finished our meal and realized it was already 9. The waitress came and picked up our empty plate. We must have sat there for another hour just talking. As we stood up to leave, I turned around to see Orlando on one knee with a ring in his hand. I could feel my eyes getting blurry.

“Will you marry me?” Orlando asked with curiosity in his eyes.

We stepped into the pouring rain hand in hand. I was wearing my red high heels with my short black dress when I said yes!

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 22, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Let me guess, this was for school?  That's my guess as to why you have the parentheses.  Nice story, though, although I do agree it is rather unrealistic.  Still, very well-written.  Keep writing!

Btw, will you check out and comment on my work?

RomanceLover said...
Jun. 11, 2010 at 2:24 pm
i didn't get the (verb, humor,) thing. what the nub was that about? and it was a bit unrealistic. but u do have talent, it was entertaining. 
Melody Y. said...
Jun. 11, 2010 at 9:25 am
I really like this! you did a great job! it had some unrealisticness to it, like Olive Garden being in Spain. You don't have to do the parenthesses though. that got a little agrivating. But it was also speedy like you wanted to just be finished with the story. All in all it was great! i loved it. please keep writing! :)
necnec said...
Jun. 10, 2010 at 7:24 pm

Cute, but very rushed and fairly unrealistic. You don't propose on a first date.

Gerat piece though, keep writing!

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