“what are you staring at?” you asked. I was staring at you. “I’m thinking” I replied. it was true but the next question was never expected. “about what?’ you asked. there was a long pause, how could I ever tell you what I am thinking. I cannot even admit it to myself or my friends. By law of nature I sold you a “nothing” and you were satisfied with an awwww. then I couldn’t take it any longer, only I beat around the bush, something I never really do. “do you love her?” I had to ask. figures you’d answer with a question “who?” huh. you know. but this is one conversation you’d rather not have, not now, not ever. but I’m persistent, and once I start I don’t ever stop. “your girlfriend?.” I said in a dead voice to hide all the emotion. I guess the question is more of are you capable of love?! but that’s quite rude, even for me. I knew you’d give me the look you gave me. the one like do you really wanna go there? the one with emotion so passionate I fell so hard for. the lack of the L word isn’t coincidental even strangers vibe off of us and can see the chemistry. even strangers can see through my thin wall that only fools myself. they all know I’m not over you. perhaps I never will.
played out in my head
April 19, 2010