If only I could burn my love for you, like I'll burn this letter. This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

March 29, 2010
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The worst thing about all of this.
The thing that makes me really angry, about me falling in love with you.
Is not that I think you’re perfect, and it’s not even that you make me feel more self-conscious then ever before.
It isn’t found in the irony of me telling you that I don’t believe in love and never will, all the while subconsciously falling for you.
It isn’t that I’ve had to go for months and months, seeing you for hours almost everyday, having no relief from the thought of you.
It isn’t that I know you’re worth so much more than me. Or knowing that you deserve better because you are better.
It isn’t even knowing that I don’t, and probably never will, have you.

It’s seeing what you’ve changed me into.
Because now, because of you, and only you, I’ve changed completely.
Because now, I actually have emotions, and I hate it.
Because now, I hate everything about my appearance and I want to change it all.
Because now, I get nervous and jealous and angry and depressed.
Because now, I sit there, hour after hour, day after day, imagining myself with you.
Because now, I realise that I can’t get everything I want.
Because now, I start to doubt everything and everyone.
Because now, you make me so depressed at times that I would rather end my life than go through all the pain and misery and confusion and jealousy that you cause me.

I need you to know how I feel.
But I can’t say all of this to you because it will make you think I’m crazy.
But if there is the slight chance that you like me back, no matter how little, you already know that, don’t you? You know I’m strange and paranoid and obsessive.
And if that doesn’t matter to you, and I hope it doesn’t, then I’m happy with it.

But every time I even think of telling you how I feel, I feel nervous and I know I couldn’t possibly do it.
Not to your face, anyway.
But I know I couldn’t get a messenger to do it. Or send it by email. Or say it I any other way than straight to you.
So I’m going to try.

I told myself I’d write this to prepare myself. To think up what to say to you.
But now I know. I just need three words. Not the three words you might be thinking of. Not the three words that describe how I really feel about you. Not ‘I love you.’
Not yet. You’d really think I’m crazy.

I don’t know how to go about it.
Where or when I’ll say it.
How I’ll get you to listen.
How my voice will sound when I say it, and what my face will look like.
If I’ll be confident enough to look you in the eyes, or if I’ll show you how vulnerable you’ve made me and look at the ground. But I need to say it.

I like you.

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agsmiley888 said...
Apr. 8, 2010 at 5:38 pm
you described all my feeling this is AMAZING its classic
Angie.O said...
Apr. 7, 2010 at 7:31 pm
I adored it. I was wondering, is this a true story? You did well. I liked it alot! Job well done :)
ClockworkLightbulb replied...
Apr. 11, 2010 at 9:06 am

Yeah, it is a true story. :/

And thankyou very much.(:

spiceyredpepper said...
Apr. 7, 2010 at 5:20 pm
i love the title and the story. I can relate very well! good job!
Crecia said...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 8:32 pm
i can soooo relate to this lol great job
Meli(: said...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 8:26 pm
This was really really sweet! Amazingly good and touching. I love your title its original and flows with the story nicely. This is a very good piece on its own but just out of curiousity is there more to this? Like a sequel or something its really good keep up the good work! :)
ClockworkLightbulb replied...
Apr. 7, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Nooo there's not a sequel, sorry. :(
I just had to get all of this out in one go. xD
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